Four Poor Bastards

Eagle Labyrinth
Dungeon Master: Guy

• Nicholas Walker, played by Chaos James - Pegasus Boots + 5r
• Clarence Clearwater, played by Squish - Unknown (40 rupees)
• Lyra, played by Blonde Panther - Revive + Purify + 10 rupees
• Kalvar Darhun, played by Magnere - Hover Boots + 15 rupees

(Needless to say, this is experimental, so I'm still toying with how things work. I'll decide the major layout of the dungeon, but you are free to add details so long as they aren't a deciding factor in solving a puzzle or overcoming some other form of conflict. Anyone who's getting a spell or technique already learned it before this dungeon--or, if you prefer, you can decide to learn it at any point mid-dungeon. Anyone who's getting an item or rupees will find them at some point in the dungeon itself, with its location decided by me.)

(Generally I'll control the monsters, enemies, and traps. I'll let you control any enemies that you'd definitely be able to beat, if those show up, and let you know when that happens.)

(By the way, I'm going to apologize in advance for the first post. To force ya'll together, I'm going to godmod your actions a bit, but I don't intend to do it after this post.)



On this fine evening in a nameless forest, Nicholas found himself among strange company. By odd circumstance, he had wandered into what he presumed a tavern--although, his eyes were met with surprised looks from four different Goriya has he casually strolled in. The not-very-well-hid-door-of-a-hideout creaked closed behind him. His boots thudded ominously across navy-blue tile, towards what one could only assume was not an open bar.

...

Elsewhere, the last thing Lyra remembered was honing her magical skills in the quiet tranquility of the forest. She had nearly mastered a new spell, when the coarse roar of some grotesque monster echoed behind her. Her head whisked around. As her hair flung through the air, her eyes turned back just in time to spot the pale boomerang flinging towards her forehead.

...Indeed, that would explain why she had now awoken with an unimaginably painful headache.

It didn't explain, however, why she was laying on cold navy-blue tiles, inches away from a slightly smelly Hylian man. On two sides, rusting iron bars rose to the ceiling--solid. Behind them, on the other two sides, walls matching the tiles seemed like they were barely holding up. Beyond the bars were countless wooden shelves holding all manner of cookwear, mugs, kegs... Indeed, it seemed as though she was locked in someone's kitchen stockroom. Spread across the crowded floor were several large buckets strategically placed to catch drops from the leaking ceiling. Near the door, the only seeming exit, sat a half-asleep smaller-than-normal red Goriya, wielding a rather familiar-looking pale yellow boomerang.

Simultaneously, Clarence abruptly awoke from his nap to find out that he was not where he had fallen asleep. No, looked up, and all he could see was an angelic young maiden with gleaming green hair flowing over her shoulders... young, beautiful... and eerily caged in with him behind rusty iron bars. Truly, no dream could have had a better start. Well, that was until he noticed the Goriya...

...

Meanwhile, Kalvar was learning well the lesson of not grabbing treasure from suspicious caves. Especially if it belonged to a dragon. His uncontrollable screams of utter terror could only be outdone by the ferocious bellowing roars of the dragon high-tailing him through the forest. Fast as he tried to run, the ferocious beast smashed trees and tore the ground apart on all fours chasing him down. The grass was ablaze behind him, literally aflame with the monster's fury.

Just when it seemed there was nowhere left to turn, the lad spotted an iron door--his last glimmer of hope. With all the strength he had, he leaped to it and crashed through. The horrid sound of flames gushing forth from the beast's mouth echoed behind him, literally melting the door--and melting it shut.

Panting on the ground, Kalvar looked up to see an odd Hylian sitting at the bar, the man's arm clad with iron. Counting the glasses on the table, Nicholas was already on his second drink.

"WOT. ARE. YOU--" The apparent barkeeper, a squat and black-furred Goriya, abruptly leaped from the table, and threw down his wash rag. His fists raised, he aimed them square at Kalvar. "Yo'd bettaar explain yo'self rait nao. Bes' na' brou't HIM up in hea'."

The two red-furred Goriya, seemingly twins and both the largest of the four, arose from the far left side of the bar. Their rough, furry hands were already gripping their weapons--crude spears. Finally, a thinner but taller blue one rushed to the side of the barkeep, "Th-that wasn't... wasn't Aquamentus, was it?"

Black continued, "Oi, I bet it was. If it was, this kid is gunna have to deal wiff 'im." His white eyes, devoid of pupils, glared down at Kalvar his massive fur-covered fists trembling with rage. Outside, the overwhelming roar of the beast echoed. Flames could be heard melting and igniting everything imaginable.

This may have been the worst day of his life. Kalvar had heard rumors of a cave filled with treasure, treasue beyond belief. Imagine walking straight into the legs of a hungry dragon. As far as he is concerned, the dragon is nothing more than a hinderance. He could just sneak back in now that the dragon is gone. But he had a feeling these men wouldn't let him go.

"I apologize for barging in like this, but a certain dragon has taken a liking to the taste of my flesh." Kalvar stared down the goriya, obviously not scared of the man. "Only a short break is all I need, I'll be on my way." He doubted they would let him leave. After all, he had just let loose a dragon in the forest.

Remaining standing, an idea popped into his head. These men want him to take care of the dragon, so why not? It would make him seem more fearsome. Kalvar the Dragon Slayer, he liked the ring to that. "Yeah I'll take down that dragon." He said, not truly aware of the consequences.

How he had wandered into this place he was uncertain, but a couple drinks was just what he needed to wash away the fatigue of walking for hours on end. While the bar was run by what many would consider monsters, the Goriya hadn't been hostile to him, and seeing he was unarmed they had assumed as much of him it seemed. He was just polishing off his second drink as another man came barreling in as the sound of crackling flames roared outside. Turning in his seat to curiously look at the stranger, he listened as the Goriya spoke.

As they spoke of a dragon, Aquamentus was the mentioned name, his eyes shone with thoughts of high fantasy like his novels spoke of, of Kings and Dragons. As the strange Hylian promised to take down the mighty beast, Nicholas looked the man up and down before standing up. He questioned the man's ability to slay such a beast, if the stories were true, but Nicholas was always interested in trying.

"I would quite enjoy the chance to join you in this, if I may be so bold. Nicholas Walker, at your service."

Lyra groaned as she got to her feet, pressing her hand to her forehead. She knew where she had been when she'd been knocked out, and she suspected the Goriya near the door of having knocked her out, but she couldn't remember what spells she'd been working on as she had been attacked. She looked at the floor around where she had been laying, quickly spotting her notebook. She just had to jog her memory- ow!

As she'd bent down to pick up the small, green-covered book, a jab of pain had crossed her head. She persevered and picked up the book though, but before she opened it up to see her latest work, she considered using a spell to alleviate her own pain. Looking around the room once more, she decided against it- she didn't know this place and might need her magic. She didn't know how much... magic... she had...

"Hector?!" she called, realizing she hadn't heard the Fairy since waking up. Normally, Hector would have been all over her, wanting to see if she was alright, but he hadn't shown up at all. "Hector, where are you?! It's not funny!"

It soon became apparent that the purple/red Fairy was not with her. To make matters worse, neither was her STAFF. When the Goriya caught her, it must not have paid the book any heed, but had taken the only thing she could feasibly use as a weapon, as well as her strategic counsel away from her. She turned around to the Hylian man. A nearby patient had more priority than the loss of her possessions and companion. "Are you alright, sir?" she asked, raising a hand in case he needed healing.

"A payan' customer is won thing, but you--you ARROGANT brat--dirty mah floor with your greasy Hylian hide, and act loike it's a goddahmn TRIFFLE that THE Aquamentus has found us?" The black Goriya's fists were revving up imaginary engines as they veered on tearing this boy limb from limb. The size of the beast's cannon-barrel arms certainly made it seem like he would be able to do so, as well. It was only when his paying customer interjected did the barkeep consider backing off.

The taller blue one, voice a bit higher and more tactful, added, "You'd have to find another exit." A thumbed paw directed attention to the iron door at the far right side of the room, directly opposite it was the bar area and another wooden door. He could have gone on to explain that they hadn't yet fully explored this labyrinth, only bothered to renovate this room into a tavern. He didn't really care for such a long-winded explanation though. Instead, he presented Nicholas a small silver key. "This should work on that door..."

"Locked it a while ago..." The black one was beginning to calm down, if only just. "There's traps and junk in those rooms. I hope ya'd get impaled, kid. Heh. Yo' meat would put off the starvation longah..." He glared at the door. It was beyond obvious that no mortal force was going to break open a melted-in-place iron wall over a full foot thick. "...Might as well stahve in hea' if Aquamentus nestles 'imself outside like that."

...

Elsewhere, a smaller-than-average Goriya stirred slightly. As her head cocked back against the wooden door, mouth gaping with snores, it became overtly obvious that she was out cold.

It was beyond obvious the black goriya wanted him dead. His grip on his sword tightened, and was just about to unsheathe it when the hylian spoke. His grip loosened. The man looked like any other Hylian warrior, but this man had a strange metal arm. When he offered to come with him, he gladly accepted. After that, another goriya produced a key.

The first goriya still made it clear how he felt, telling him he would like to see him impaled, and then starve to death. How comforting. This... monster truly only wanted to see his blood shed. Kalvar did his best to ignore him, and instead walked over to the other Hylian. "My name is Kalvar Darhun. It is an honor to work with you." He introduced himself and bowed slightly.

Normally, his pompous nature would refuse any help, but the man sure seemed frightening enough. His metal arm seemed extremely dangerous. Whether or not it was an oversized gauntlet he didn't care, it sure seemed deadly enough. And deadly seemed the perfect choice of words to fight a dragon.

Nicholas stood listening to the Goriya as they spoke, taking the key with his left hand as he turned to the Hylian man who had brought Aquamentus' wrath to this place. "Pleasure to meet you, Kalvar," he said as he turned towards the door leading deeper into the ruins. "Hopefully your blade is sharp and your bow is true." With a few steps, Nicholas reached the locked door and switched the key to his other hand, sliding it into the lock and twisting the key. With a nudge from his shoulder, he pushed the door open and let it swing wide, pulling the key from the lock as he did.

Sliding the key into one of the pockets of his jacket, he turned to Kalvar and stretched his arms. "You ready to go? Danger waits for no man." With a grin, he turned back towards the ruins beyond the door, stepping across the threshold of the doorway looking ahead in search of danger.

"I was asking if you are alright, sir," Lyra repeated. As she spoke, her gaze shot to the Goriya and she moved a finger towards her lips in a gesture for silence. Her calling for Hector hadn't woken the beast up, but she didn't want to risk any other sounds doing so. At least, not before she was ready. "I could help if you're injured, I'm a healer by trade." She skipped the part where she informed him she was just in training.

She skimmed the room one last time in hopes of picking up the faint glow of her fairy, shivering when she didn't see him. She'd never left home without Hector, and his absence was making her increasingly uncomfortable. It was as if part of her was missing. "Have you seen a red-purplish Fairy?" she asked, "He's supposed to be here. I just hope nothing's happened to him."

She looked at the Goriya near the door again. It... classified as an animal, right? So she should be able to talk to it if it woke up. But how to wake it up without making it very, very angry? "Maybe we can ask him," she pointed at it half-heartedly, "about where we are..." she muttered it under her breath, but suddenly grabbed onto the bars. Was the Goriya injured? She thought she saw blood on its temple, although it was hard to be sure because of its red fur...

Clarence's thorough examination of the room revealed the following to him:

• The room had on three sides navy-blue walls of an iron-like material, matching the material and color of the floor's large tiles. The fourth wall was, strangely, wooden. The room was rectangular, with the Goriya at the far end of the caged two.
• The room was lined with rickety wooden shelves, which in turn were mostly lined with various fluids, spices, and what could be presumed to be preserved food. Numerous large buckets were catching water from the cracks in the ceiling.
• The cage's rusting iron bars, and the cracks behind those imprisoned, suggested that a considerable force could break them. Such a force would be difficult to produce unarmed, however.
• The Goriya seemed to only armed with a boomerang, and it was leaning against an iron door which seemed to be the only feasible exit to this room.

Meanwhile, Lyra had pretty much already noticed all of this.

...

Elsewhere, a Hylian who's blood-alchohol level had been slightly raised slipped a key through a lock, only to have the key abruptly lodge into the hole, stuck there. Watching this, the barkeeper's eyes narrowed at them. Despite his intense, nearly overwhelming hatred of that arrogant kid, he wasn't about to insult or assault a properly paying customer. Even monsters have decent business etiquette. The remaining three Goriyas gathered into a momentary hushed argument, and before the two Hylians had left, one of the red ones made his way over to them.

Without saying much, the seven-foot-tall beast slipped a scabbard out from a pouch on his hip. It appeared to be a shortsword, though the crafting was somewhat crude. It's size was good for a Kokiri, and decent for a Hylian, but it seemed like a toothpick in this particular Goriya's hand. He mumbled to Nicholas, presenting to him the weapon, "We try to bust the other door... Luck to you two." Someone had noticed the lad was unarmed, apparently.

As the Hylians stepped through the door, the thick iron portcullis effortlessly rose up into the ceiling, only to abruptly smash back down as soon as they crossed. On this side, its surface was solid, seamless, and perfectly smooth, without anything that resembled a slot, a handle, a knob, or even a keyhole. There came a sudden, overwhelming silence. Even so, both of them could still easily sense the red one's presence as he moved away from the gate's opposite side.

...However, they could also definitively sense another living presence on the far side of this room. Here, the only light was a minuscule pale-blue, radiating from tiny mushrooms that had grown between the cracks in the tiles. The illumination was barely enough to see the tip of your nose... much less whatever lurked ahead... somehow, this hidden beast seemed even larger than that big Goriya... but hadn't even made enough sound to breathe.

Kalvar tried to adjust his eyes to the darkness. The silence was overwhelming, this was not a safe place to be. Before he was even able to react, the door had closed behind him, and there was no way to open it from this side. He turned around and scoured the door, trying to find a way to open it, when he sensed something. His instincts never lied, and his instincts told him there was a third person in the room.

Whatever it was, it was deathly silent, as he had not heard anything besides the sounds produced by him and Nicholas. Not even could he hear it breathing. Did it not need to breath? Its presence was immense, seemingly extremely tall. Without warning Nicholas, he silently pulled out his sword. His blade slightly ringed as he pulled it our. Kalvar tapped his fellow hylian on the shoulder and motioned for him to pull his sword. He hoped the man could see him.

The creature most certainly have night vision. How else could it live in the dark? Kalvar held his sword in front of him, and stood completely still. Almost right after that, he faded from view, or rather, he would have if they were able to see. But surely something that relies on night vision wouldn't see him, right? Unless it sees by its sense of smell, he tightened the grip on his sword just in case.

The key aside, Nicholas thanked the Goriya for the weapon and strapped it to his belt as he stepped into the next room, Kalvar following close behind. Darkness enveloped around, the only light coming from small glowing fungus that only helped to give the room an eerie feeling of emptiness. Empty it was not though, as Nicholas soon realized the two of them were not alone, and that a third being stood in the room. As he stood, his muscles tensing as he focused ahead of him, he heard the familiar sound of a blade being drawn beside him, then felt Kalvar's hand upon his shoulder. Nicholas nodded to himself and likewise drew the shortsword he had been given, holding it tightly in his left hand while taking a defensive stance, his right arm held in front of him like a shield. He looked to his right, but with the darkness couldn't see his companion, nor hear any sound coming from the Hylian, so he figured he'd best take action instead.

Slowly, Nicholas began to move to the left, keeping his defensive stance as he moved away from Kalvar. He wanted some space between the two blind allies, to avoid any sudden strikes from the other's sword, and he made no attempt to move silently as he did. By doing so, Kalvar would know he had put distance between them, while hopefully drawing the beast towards them.

Unable to decide whether or not she was actually seeing blood on the Goriya's temple, and knowing she had no means of communicating with the beast, Lyra decided she had to focus on something else for now. Breaking out of this cage was certainly not going to happen. Kokiris grew to be ancient, and magically speaking she was far more powerful than she looked, but she was stuck in the body of a Hylian teenager and was never going to be able to break these bars. Maybe if she'd had her staff she could have tried, but bare-handed, she wasn't going to waste the energy.

While her fellow prisoner started to work his magic, Lyra opened her notebook. She wasn't going anywhere- she might as well use her time wisely and look up what the heck her projects were, because she couldn't remember for the life of her. She thumbed through the notebook, reaching the last page that had been written on and turning to the top of the page. Purify and Revive... riiiiiight. Now that she saw the names, she remembered. While the other procured the boomerang, Lyra revised the gestures and words needed for the two spells.

All was utter silent, save the metallic ring of two swords departing scabbards. But, that's all it took.

A blinding flash shot from at first appeared to be the ceiling. The yellow light quickly dimmed, revealing all too quickly that it had not come from the ceiling. No, it was this monstrosity's eye. With glistening metal skin and arms as large as men, the gigantic Eyegore rumbled into motion. Its body was a nightmarish silhouette of power, lit only by the dim yellow light of its emotionless eye. A titanic fist plowed through the air, smashing the ground where Nicholas had stood a split-second before. The iron tile audibly groaned as the blow bent it inwards, popping from the ground. Taking the metal in hand, the monstrosity flung it wildly towards the other intruder--the colossal, unliftable iron was like a deadly pebble in its hand.

---

In situations where certain death was less certain, Clarence had managed to expertly and carefully elevate the wooden boomerang from the Goriya's body, all while barely getting a drop on its fur. Through the air it floated, almost eeriely, as it neared the cave. Careful as the mage was... a slight quiver rippled through the water, causing the boomerang to strike the iron bar with an eeriely loud sound.

Stirring, the Goriya's snores momentarily intensified. ...Had the noise not been muffled by the water surrounding the weapon, the beast would have surely awoken.

Light. That's all Kalvar could see for a second. Bright light flashed from the ceiling, and as his eyes cleared, he realized the light was closer to the ground than he thought. The beast was several feet taller than he was, and seemed immensely more powerful. His single eye illuminated the room like a torch. When all of a sudden, it moved.

The monster slammed its fist into the ground where Nicholas had been standing. He sighed with relief that his companion was not hit. If he was, who would distract the beast? As soon as he thought the beast hadn't seem him. The monster ripped a tile out of the floor and hurled it at him. Kalvar was so surprised that he wasn't prepared to move. He dodged at the last moment and the tile scrapped along his shoulder, bending it backwards slightly before flying past him.

The pain in his shoulder was horrendous. He had haphazardly stuck the sword on his belt, and winced as he reached for his bow. Years of his training told him he only had seconds, maybe less, before the beast strikes again. Kalvar notched an arrow on his string and pulled back. He didn't have time to sharp shoot this. Every second wasted was a second closer to injury. Before his mind told him to let go, his shoulder did. The pain was hurting his shoulder so much that he let go. He only hoped that his it his intended target. The eye.

Moving out of the way was probably the best idea Nicholas could of had since wandering into the ruins looking for a tavern. The shock of the light blinding his eyes was only momentary, but he didn't need his sight to hear and feel the beast crush a metal tile with ease, his vision returning to let him witness it throw it with no issue. Unlike a lot of foes, Nicholas was certain he couldn't just brush off attacks from this thing with his Tempered Arm. While the metal itself would hold, he had high doubts that his shoulder and chest could take such an impact, much less his legs to keep him standing.

As much as avoiding this thing and it's mighty strikes was the most brilliant battle strategy since not-dying, he could see Kalvar was already acting on a plan probably better then direct melee attacks, so Nicholas sprung into action himself. Rushing in front of the colossal beast, sword in hand and arm forward, he held his blade forward and pulled his right arm back, planting his feet apart and began to raise his voice into an anger-filled scream. Blackish-gold flames started to dance across his form as he began his Warlock Punch, but his plan was to not complete the technique and instead evade hard into a backwards roll to his left, as drawing his arm back placed him in such a way, to avoid what he hoped would be the beast's attack towards himself.

Lyra froze in shock when the boomerang made a loud clanking noise on the metal bars. Holding her breath, she looked over to the Goriya, who STILL hadn't woken up. However, he stirred in his sleep, so it was clear by now that Lyra had been mistaken earlier- the beast was NOT unconscious, it was merely sleeping. This worried Lyra. If it woke up, what would it do? Maybe nothing, normally. But if it saw that its weapon had been taken from it, what would happen then?

"Hold on, sir," she said when her companion picked up the boomerang. "Put the boomerang out of sight, but close at hand. I think I may have a different way out of here." She raised both hands, smiling at her fellow prisoner reassuringly. "Please don't worry, no matter how strange what I'm about to do may seem. My name is Lyra, and I'm much older and more knowledgeable than I look." With that, she turned her attention back to the Goriya, her expression suddenly serious.

If this worked, they could wait until the Goriya had broken down their cage in its rage, then knock it out with the boomerang, and make a beeline for freedom. At least, if the beast was as hostile as Lyra had been warned to expect. If it were reasonable, maybe they could get information out of it. Not having her staff around to channel her magic through made the process painful, and she shut her eyes to preserve her concentration as she spoke the magic words and her hands started to glow with a faint white light. She found the Goriya's consciousness, not far from the border that would wake it up, and gently started to mentally tug on it, trying to coerce it over that boundary.