Four Poor Bastards

No sooner had the bent iron flown to one victim, did the other beginning howling at the top of its tiny lungs. So much noise. Light began to enwrap him. How infuriating. With a thunderous step forward, the Eyegore's arm shot towards the man, snapping the iron tile in half as he rolled back. Without warning, the titan began to give chase, steel tree-trunk legs plowing the ground, rending tiles with every step. As another life-ending punch aimed to crush the insect beneath the best, Kalvar aimed carefully...

Despite the thunderous impact of metals against metals, and the rumbling of the monster's gargantuan form, there was above all an eerie silence. No sound, no growl, not even breath came from the Eyegore as it seemed to effortlessly destroy the dungeon.

There came a sound like glass breaking as the arrow miraculously met its mark, lodging grotesquely in the beast's face--sticking out from its massive pupil. Movement halted for a split-second as its hand flung to its face in pain. The titan's head turned, and the spotlight its gaze created sent a long shadow behind Kalvar.

The colossus remained motionless for a long, eerie moment as the light from its eye abruptly began to dim... there came a low, deep hum... rising in volume. Kalvar was already firing his bow again, only to have a foot-wide blinding-bright beam of destruction plow a hole through the air, not only disintegrating the arrow in mid-flight, but burrowing a seamless hole through iron tile and earth, shooting for Nayru-knows-how-deep into the ground, burrowing an endless hole, almost a full meter wide... right between Kalvar's bare feet. The beam lasted for a split-second, but his feet felt like they had melted--pants felt like they were aflame--just from being near it.

Oh wait.

His pants were aflame.

----

"Why you here?" The little Goriya yawned, rolling off her haunches to stand up. She seemed rather non-nonchalant about it all. "I think my pa wants to cook ya, or sum'thing. It's what we put in the grog here... Hylians, I mean. Sorry 'bout that." She seemed rather eloquent in the language of men, for a monster in the middle of a desolate forest.

Sighing heavily, she dusted off her ragged brown armor-like leather garb. Like many Goriya and Moblins, it was likely taken ages ago, and never upkept. "Well, that's what he was going to do. Now, I dunno..." She looked over her shoulder at the door, an annoyed expression on her face.

Finally, she took a couple steps towards the prisoners, but making sure to keep a safe distance. Her arms were crossed, eyes examining the two up and down. "Uh, anyway, have ya figured a way out yet? Guess not..."

The sharp crack of glass cracking, brought Kalvar back to his senses. His arrow had found its mark, sticking out of the monsters pupil, Kalvar smiled. He lowered his bow, this monster was no longer a threat. How could something fight if they can't see? Kalvar was about to laugh at the monster, when its head turned.

The silence that followed was irritatingly quiet. Suddenly, the light started to dim. The beast is dieing, Kalvar thought to himself. Then came the hum. The hum was more irritating than the quiet. It slowly got louder and louder. He wasn't dead, he was charging something. Kalvar quickly pulled an arrow out of its quiver and shot at the beast. But it was too late.

A bright yellow beam shot from the monsters eye towards Kalvar, his arrow was vaporized in mid air. The laser struck right between his legs. All kalvar could feel was pain, his legs and feet felt like they were melting, though he was glad it didn't aim a few inches higher..... Kalvar grunted in pain, and realized that the pain wasn't ceasing. He looked down and his pants were on fire.

Kalvar almost screamed, he had never had to deal with his clothing being on fire. He didn't feel that laying on the ground and rolling was appropriate at this time. So, sucking up the pain, or at least some of it. He stepped back and drew his bow. This time releasing as soon as he had aimed, he wanted this thing to die. Then, only after he shot the arrow, did he scream in pain.

Just as he had hoped, the giant stone cyclops had taken to his distraction, ignoring his ally in favor of attacking him. His technique fizzled out as he threw himself backwards, hitting the ground in a backwards roll, flipping back onto his feet in a low crouch. Ignoring the ache of slamming into hard tile, Nicholas pushed himself up and started to quickly back step as the Eyegore thundered in his direction, diving to the left to roll out of the wall as one of the tiles was flung near his head. It was the sound of snapping glass that brought to the Hylian's attention that the beast had stopped. Looking upwards at their foe, he could see the feathers of an arrow sprouting from the eye of the monster.

The peace was short lived though, as Nicholas saw the devastating magic the creature could fire from it's eye, followed by what looked like the glowing light of fire and Kalvar's scream of agony. Growling in anger, Nicholas sprung into action, darting towards the Eyegore and to the side, getting near the back of the mechanical monster as he tightened the grip of his short sword. Reaching his desired position, Nicholas pushed off the ground hard, leaping into the air and reaching out with his right hand, hoping he could find a solid grip on the creature and hold on, if anything just to distract the Eyegore to give Kalvar more time.

Okay, so she spoke Hylian... that certainly made things easier, Clarence could add his thoughts to the mix at will if Lyra didn't have to communicate with the Goriya through different means. The Kokiri decided to dismiss the news about being prospective dinner. While disturbing, she had more pressing matters to address. Besides, the Goriya's last question had alarmed her. "We haven't found a way out yet," she said, "Do you know of one?"

Wait. The Goriya had mentioned her father. She seemed confused as to their presence, as to their consciousness... was she not the one who had brought them here, then? "Do you know how we got here?" she asked the red beast, "On that note, have you seen a small ball of purplish red light?"

Hopefully, Kalvar would quickly learn the dangers of leaving your pants on fire and not even attempting to put them out. The flames steadily began to spread up along the surfaces of his trousers, making his shins and calves look literally smoking-hot, as minor first-degree burns began to quickly form on the skin underneath, threatening to become immensely worse if the fabric of his trousers didn't hold.

Unfortunately, a screaming flaming weirdo was not much of a distraction for the Eyegore. The colossus stared a moment longer, as if mesmerized at how powerful his own attack was against something so squishy and flammable.

Slowly, the Eyegore's body rumbled towards the other victim, only to see him leaping forward, tiny hands clutching on the metallic slits of the beast's arms. He struggled to flail the pest off, only to have him shift abruptly and leap from his arm. There was one attack which worked miraculously well on this tiny scurrying pests, and he wasn't about to avoid using it again. The light from his eye abruptly dimmed, and there came a deep rumbling throughout the colossal body... The monster's motion stilled, if only for a split-second.

Here, as his limbs clung to the beast's thick-as-a-Goron-bicep, the fate of Nicholas would be decided. If his blade didn't crush the life out of the monster now, its ungodly beam of destruction promised to leave no trace of Hylians in its wake.

---

"I think I'm suppos'ta keep you here," the Goriya's eyes rolled a bit, obviously disinterested in the task.

"The two big red 'uns brought you here, I think. I'm suppose'ta make sure you don't do anything funny." She shrugged a little, "But ya haven't cracked a joke yet, so..." A rumbled giggle came out of her mouth, "Anyway, ya'll--uh, Hylians--d'un taste very good." She blinked, dimly, "Uh, no'ffense."

"Ball o' light?" The Goriya's head tilted for a moment, before she apparently realized what could've qualified for that. "I think my pa said it looked sweet. Might be in a jar around here, maybe?" She scratched her head and giggled a little, staring at the Hylians with wide eyes, "It's, uh, where we keep the... you know, ing--... ingreed--ee-ents... " She sighed heavily, shoulders slumped, "Garr, tha's a long word. For ingreeds, you ask a lot."

His first issue? His pants were on fire. His second issue was that his ally was struggling to take down a giant monster that shoots lasers. So naturally, Kalvar decides to take care of the most pressing issue, his flaming pants. He attempted to pat the flames out, only to succeed halfway. The flames were resilient, and refused to go out. Still in pain, he quickly laid down on the floor until the flames went out. Standing up, his legs felt like they were being pinched, everywhere at once. Kalvar groaned as he stood back up.

His pants were burnt in many places, being almost completely black. He was just glad that it didn't cause any more damage than it did. Only after he stood up did he realize the beast was charging its laser again. The light in the room dimmed, and Kalvars instincts kicked in. He did not want to deal with another instance of flaming pants. He notched an arrow on his bow and pulled the string back to his cheek. He had to aim carefully, shooting his ally would not be helpful.

He aimed directly at the eye again, assuming it was its weak spot. Fingers slipped off the string and the arrow shot through the air. A faint whistle could be heard as the arrow flew. If he didn't hit his target, he wouldn't know what to do.

Relief would be the first thing to come to Nicholas' mind if he had time to relax in this situation, but instead it was just confirmation of his plan that he needed. The only downside he noted, while grabbing onto the stone monster, was that it had turned around at some point, putting him in easy reach of it's arms. The last thing he wanted was to be torn apart by his limbs, as he would imagine it would be a horrible way to go. Instead of crushing him, the monster swung its arm about in an attempt to throw the Hylian off, but Nicholas held tight to the monster thanks to where he had managed to grip with his hands.

Luckily for him, or perhaps a twisted joke of the Goddesses, the Eyegore decided it would incinerate him instead. With a quick kick of his feet, Nicholas pushed away from the gruesome monster, yet held on with his right hand. He used his right arm to pull himself towards the beast's face so that he could make his attack. The sword in his left hand was held tight as the blade gave a quick glimmer of light before he let go of the cyclops. As his hand left the beast's body, a surge of energy overtook him as he spun in a circle, the technique of the Hylian Guard giving him the momentum he required to finish the rotation in forward thrust at the end with the short sword.

Lyra was about to say she took no offense to the Goriya's words when the beast mentioned that it HAD seen Hector- or at least something that fit the Fairy's description. At least they knew something more- the Fairy was alive for the moment. "Please get us out of here, Master Clearwater," she said to Clarence. "I have to find Hector and get him out of that jar before he suffocates."

The Goriya was clearly not the smartest of creatures- maybe Lyra could distract it with conversation while Clarence busted them out. She moved to the far side of the cage to get Clarence out of the Goriya's field of vision, talking to it further. "Oh, that's because we're not 'ingreeds'. We're friends! That's Clarence, and I'm Lyra. The ball of light is my friend Hector. What's your name?"

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...I'm going to assume Kalvar at least rolled over or something. Last I checked, laying down while on fire does not put out the flames.

Sorry I haven't been posting as much lately.

A split-second after Kalvar's arrow loosed, his archer's instinct told him it wouldn't meet its mark. In that same moment, Nicholas' glowing blade tore viciously through the creature's face, sending a shower of cracked glass across the dimly-lit floor. The force of his attack was enough to twist the colossal head of the Eyegore to the side--staring right into an arrow. By some immeasurable luck, Kalvar's missing arrow abruptly became a critical hit, stabbing through the wounded organ to lodge clean through it.

...There came a silence, as the beast's motions eventually came to a halt. The only sound was of heavy breaths, and Nicholas' feet landing upon tile. Its eye was almost completely out, body motionless.

Was it.. dead? Truly?

From the Eyegore shot an abrupt beam of ferocious power shot through the far wall, burrowing a hole clean through several feet of iron. The beast's charge couldn't be kept inside, even after death. It's tremendous form fell to the ground with a thunderous noise, breaking and bending the floor in the process... In its wake, the four-foot wide hole in the wall shone a dim, torchlight-like illumination into the room, lighting up the corridor just enough to make out the plain, square shape of the room. Of the three exits, two had been formed by the Eyegore, and the third was barred shut.

---

The Goriya took a breath to reply to her Hylian friend, but was abruptly interrupted by the thud of her stolen boomerang against iron. Her eyes narrowed. Angrily, her voice bellowed, "That--MINE!" Her brow furrowed, fists clenched, "An' 'ere I thought we--ugh!" Furiously, her furry paw shot out to grab a pot from the shelf, before wildly slinging it at the theif. A second pot soon followed it, and then a third. They all broke against the bars, splashing black powder, a strange brown liquid, and, abruptly, a glowing little ball of violet light. Her vocalizations were a mix between a roar and a distressed moan of despair, utterly bestial.

Simultaneously, it became apparent that the boomerang itself hadn't much damaged the bar, rusted as it was. A noticeable dent, but far from a break.

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Oops, Thats what I meant to write. Shall I edit it?

Kalvar couldn't believe his luck when his wayward arrow had struck the beasts eye. He had missed, that is, until Nicholas struck the beast and moved it enough that his arrow now did fatal damage. The arrow went straight through the beast and struck the opposite wall. Maybe traveling with others did have its advantages. Kalvar started to walk, but then suddenly another laser shot out of the monsters eye.

The beam shot straight through the far wall, Kalvar almost gasped. That wall must have been several feet thick. The iron wall was still glowing from the heat of the laser. He took a heavy breath and sat down. "Nice job." Kalvar said aloud to his partner. His legs were killing him, and so was his shoulder. This monster had done a number on his body, and his day was just getting started. He rolled his pant legs up to inspect the damage on his legs. They were quite badly burnt. Not as bad as the pain had made him think, but still painful.

The burn wounds were the worst by his feet, which were the closest to the laser. His burns were really bad. Kalvar's feet were all red, and a blister or two had formed. "That doesn't look healthy." Kalvar said to Nicholas, "Got any aloe?" He asked sarcastically, with a false laugh. He firmly placed his hands against the ground and pushed upwards. Standing up was slightly painful, but not as bad as standing itself.

As his blade torn into the creature, he watched as his new ally managed to sink an arrow into the eye with a deep thunk. As that happened, Nicholas finished the spin from his attack and landed on the ground in a low crouch, springing backwards as he watched for sudden movement. It was as he was darting back when the Eyegore launched another blistering laser through the nearby wall, the by-product of the attack it had been charging before they had felled the beast. Nicholas watched as the colossal creature fell to the ground with a tremendous crash, warping the tiles and leaving behind a doorway for the pair.

Nicholas walked over to his companion, sheathing his sword as he did so, and offered him a hand. "Nice shots," the warrior complimented as he stood by Kalvar ready to help the injured man. "If the goddesses aren't busy, hopefully they'll have time to smite anymore of those things before we run into them," Nicholas laughed as he kept a watchful eye towards the hole that had been formed by the creature's death throes. A light ahead would be a welcome change from the darkness they had fought in before, a thought which made the Hylian wish he had the forethought to bring a torch along.

"As soon as you can we'll continue on."

Lyra screamed and ducked away when the Goriya lost her temper and attacked the pair with... jars of seasoning? "Ah!" Lyra recognized a small ball of light in one of them, and dove forward to catch it when it fell out of the glass shards and into the cage. She caught the Fairy in her cupped hands, clutched him to her chest, and stepped back when Clarence started to work magic.

"Hector!" she called, shaking the Fairy in her hands, "Are you okay? Are you going to live?" He hadn't actually suffocated, did he?! She didn't know what she was going to do without her Fairy!

"Uhhhh... Lyra?"

"Word of the Great Deku Tree, you're alright!" Hector floated up, out of her hands, and hung in the air a little shakily. "Do you remember anything from the shelf you were on?" she asked, thinking quickly. It was evident that they weren't going to break out by force, and the Goriya wasn't going to free them either. "Did you see a key or something like it?"

"Let me think for a moment..."

There came a sudden orb of red light from the mage's hand, rushing towards the Goriya. In her childish rage, she almost didn't see it, but when she did, her eyes abruptly widened in awe... suddenly calm. "Pretty...!"

...Simultaneously, the fairy began to recall what had happened. She remembered a dramatically large, club-wielding Goriya with red fur knock out Lyra with a boomerang--though she didn't get too good of a look at the boomerang. Before she could do anything else, the same Goriya pounced forward and sealed a jar around her--the jar from which she just escaped. There was a great deal of movement, and many muffled voices--initially deep and masculine, but eventually one slightly more feminine. The exact words were inaudible. Eventually, the sealed-tight container robbed her of air, and then of consciousness. She must have been in there for hours, at least, or so it felt.

A flash and bang erupted before the marveling beast, and there came a defeaning shriek of agonizing pain. Her face was instantly scarred and charred, her fur aflame. The wooden shelves surrounding the room quickly caught flame as well, creating intense heat and terrible light in the otherwise dim corridor. Smoke rapidly filled the air, of many strange colors as the powders ignited and burned.

The Goriya sobbed and howled uncontrollably, the sounds of a young woman wailing in unimaginable agony. Her voice wavered as she screamed out, "M-MY FACE...!" Her paws tried to touch it, but winced in agony. The flames upon her fur only grew. Squealing, tears gushing, she ran from the room as fast as her little legs could carry her, busting through the wooden door at the far end, opposite the cell. Muffled from the distance, you could hear her screaming, "D-DADDY! DADDY, YOU WERE RIGHT!! HYLIANS ARE TERRIBLE!!!!"

...At the sight of his daughter's burning body and charred face, there came at first a gasp. Then a splash of liquid, probably water, and extinguished flames. The fury in the beast's voice was immeasurable as he leased a roar as loud as it was long, so packed with rage that even the bravest warrior would shudder in utter terror.

The two remained trapped in a burning room, behind iron bars, with a beastly father who presumably thought that death was too sweet of relief for beings who would do this to his precious daughter. Goddesses help them.

...

There came a sudden glowing circle on the wall behind the two mages, mere inches above Clarence's head. An unimaginably potent beam of destruction plowed through the stone like it was lumpy, pathetic melting butter. The light was blinding. It tore through the bars like they weren't even there, and continued out the far side of the room. There was a momentary, sudden silence, as all in the vicinity twiched in utter shock. The only sound was the crackling of growing flames.

Nicholas and Kalvar gazed upon the dim light ahead, the roaring flames reduced to a dim torchlight through the depth of the tunnel. Unfortunately for them, it wasn't quite as warm nor welcoming as they may have expected.

Kalvar took a step forward, and almost winced. But his sense of pride was already too badly damaged that day. He would suck it up, and act like it wasn't even a bother. It all seemed like a twisted hand of fate. He had escaped the roaring fires of a monstrous dragon, to be lit on fire from a cyclops. This time, he wasn't going in unprepared. Kalvar pulled out his bow and notched an arrow on the string. Anything that stood in his way was going to die. He hoped this dungeon wasn't much larger.

Kalvar started towards the hole in the wall, when he stopped. He is the one who is injured, and also the long range attacker. What sense would it make for him to go first? Kalvar leaned against a wall. "If you wouldn't mind, you seem to be the most effective close range fighter out of us two." He looked over at his Hylian ally and said. "Would it be best for you to head through first? My sword is nowhere near as strong as yours is." Kalvar stopped, and almost smacked himself for showing weakness.

Nicholas stood at the make-do hallway as Kalvar slowly walked over. Hopefully his companion would be alright, though at least he had that bow to help in a fight. As the archer asked to him take the lead, Nicholas nodded in agreement. "Would be best, I would think," he said as he brought the short sword to his side, firmly in his grip. Stepping across the impromptu threshold, Nicholas walked forward into the dark hallway with his right arm in front of him like a shield. "Hopefully, if we're lucky, nothing will attack us in here," Nicholas noted as they moved into the darkness, "because there isn't a lot of wiggle room in here."

Moving forward slowly, Nicholas could slowly see the flames ahead grow, but he was as much focused on their surroundings then on the goal ahead. It seemed like paranoia on his part, but that previous encounter had quite well informed him of possible dangers that could lay in their path to the dragon, of which he was even less sure of now. Thoughts of future fights aside though, the fire ahead grew brighter as Nicholas found himself close to the exit they walked towards. It wasn't a torch he had been seeing though, but the room itself seemed to be aflame. Looking into the room, he could see two others standing within.

"What happened here?"

Lyra's head spun. Everything had happened so quickly- the Goriya catching on fire following Clarence's spell, the fire spreading, Clarence grabbing her arm, and being dragged out of the room. Hers was only a small frame, and she needed a few seconds to regain her bearings. Hector, who had flown here with her, had grabbed on to her hair and tugged on it in hopes of catching her attention. Lyra grabbed him out of her hair so she could inspect it. Yeah... she was going to need a haircut once she got out of here. The tips of her hair had been singed more than a little. At least her dress had remained clear of the carnage.

She turned around, seeing two figured behind them. Her first reaction was to step back, bumping into Clarence, but she soon recognized them as Hylians. And at least one of them showed signs of fire damage. "A- Are you both alright?" she asked, her voice still a little shaky from her earlier ordeal. "I might be able to help if you're injured..."