Stone Tower Temple [Blonde Squishy Cats]

Stone Tower Temple
- Horus Falconer, Full-Time Jerk (3/2/4 Hylian) [Blonde Panther] Reward: Plummeting Blade, Kinstone Piece, +3 Rupees.
- Luna, the Ice Princess (1/5/3 Hylian) [Blonde Panther] Reward: Ice+ No Instrument Required, Kinstone Piece, +3 Rupees.
- Tessa Smith, Heavily ADD Girl (3/1/3 Hylian) [Cataphractoi] Reward: Fairy Companion.
- Morgan Liesmith, Village Idiot (3/1/5 Hylian) [Squishy] Reward: Wall Kick, Kinstone Piece, +18 Rupees.

The Math on Horus and Luna's Rewards (open) The Math on Horus and Luna's Rewards (close)

Horus: Plummeting Blade for 25 Rupees
Horus's Dungeon Reward: 10 Rupees, leaves 15 Rupees
BP's Dungeon Reward: 15 Rupees, covers the rest of the treasure
Kinstone Piece: -2 from the remaining Dungeon Reward.
+3 Rupees

Luna: Ice + No Instrument Required for 30 Rupees
Luna's Dungeon Reward: 10 Rupees, leaves 20 Rupees
BP's Dungeon Reward: 20 Rupees, covers the rest of the treasure
Kinstone Piece: -2 from the remaining Dungeon Reward
+3 Rupees

Flying on the back of an enormous bird with a bill bigger than his head and whose feathers constantly radiated cold was not a sensation he was used to. To say it was pleasant would be a pretty big overstatement, but at least he didn't suffer a fear of heights and he had to admit; the view from up here was good. That he had his arms wrapped around Luna for stability helped as well. Cryo flapped his wings once more to increase his altitude, grabbing a nearby thermal wind to keep gliding, momentarily pushing his two passengers together as he moved.

Below them, the arid scenery of Ikana passed by at alarming speeds they wouldn't have been able to reach otherwise. It was strange to think that a bird as big as this one could move so quickly, but Horus supposed that with every flap of his wings he covered more ground than a Hylian could by walking. At any rate, the Loftwing's ability to fly large distances in short times made their mission a hell of a lot easier. They very quickly saw their destination growing as they came closer to it- the two large towers carved from the same stone as the mountains, towering over everything else in the terrain like stone giants.

Something was going on in the Stone Tower Temple, and Horus and Luna had volunteered to go inspect it. According to reports, Stalfos that went in started acting odd and turned on their brethren, so King Igos was hesitant to send his own men in anymore. Bertrand and Frederick had had to stay behind on account of Cryo not being able to carry more than two people, and they had needed the bird on account of the mission being urgent.

As they reached the first of the enormous towers, Luna directed Cryo to the ground and the enormous bird landed, digging his talons deep into the dry ground as he touched down on it.

Tessa was, well, lost. That happened sometimes. She had been trying to get home to the Western Caves, but, well, here she was. On the other side of the region. She'd been dropped off by boat north of Ruto, then crossed the river...six times. She was fairly certain she'd only needed to cross it once, but she just kept running into it, and if there's a river in your way, you've just gotta cross it.

It had been...a week? At some point she crossed a mountain. That...was not supposed to have happened. But she just kept getting even more lost! First she needed to hunt for food, and that silly creature had gotten her all turned around. Then she had to pitch in to save a caravan, heading for the Eastern Caves. Then they pointed her west, but that turned out to be south instead, and by then she just had no idea where she was. So she kept walking, and now she was in Ikana of all places.

That particular development left her more confused than anything. How does one accidentally end up in the literal valley of the dead? Why didn't she think to turn around when there was a mountain in her way? She really couldn't remember what she'd been thinking, but then, she seldom could. She needed...

Focus, focus, focus. What now? Keep walking until she got so lost that she suddenly wound up right where she was supposed to be? No, Ikana wasn't like the Lost Woods. That wouldn't work. Probably. Maybe a friendly Stalfos would give her some directions...or just attack her on sight. That seemed more likely. Bird! People! Not bird people though. People on a bird. She hopped onto her feet as the loftwing landed.

"People! Living people, too, that's surprising. I'm Tessa Smith, and I am so very lost. So lost that I only vaguely know exactly how lost I am. Can you, uh, tell me how to get to the Western Caves from here? My best guess is go west, but guessing sorta got me here in the first place. I can pay for the directions! Not with money, hah, I am flat broke, but if you need a hired sword I am your woman!"

They had scarcely stepped down from the Loftwing's back when they were besieged by two faces- one familiar and one new. Horus bit his tongue; seeing new faces in Ikana by now no longer sent him into a confused rage, instead making him roll his eyes. Really, what was wrong with these people? "Well," he started towards Morgan, "If you couldn't find us that's entirely on you, we haven't moved camp since- do you mind?" he added, snarling at the girl who interrupted him, "Adults are talking!"

"Horus," Luna said, putting a hand on his arm, "Calm down." She turned to Morgan. "Morgan, why are you here? Did His Majesty request your help, too?" As she spoke, Cryo (who constantly kept an eye on her) turned to Morgan as well, tilting his head as he tried to remember where he'd seen this yellow-haired person before. He certainly was familiar.

Calmer, but still annoyed, Horus focused his attention on the girl. "Well, judging from the name, yeah, West is probably a good guess. Lucky you, you're about as far East as you can go without drowning. Also, do we -look- like we need hired swords? We can take perfectly good care of ourselves, thank you very much-"

"Actually, Horus, if His Majesty's intelligence was accurate, then we could use any help we can get." Luna had turned around to him and gestured her head towards the entrance to the Stone Towers. There were a couple of Stalfos there, exiting the Tower. They wobbled a bit, as if drunk, and as they started to come closer, Horus saw them staring out front themselves even deader than usual. "I believe we've attracted unwanted attention. Shall we force our way past them, or opt for a more stealthy passage inside?"

"Sneaking was never my thing," Horus said, drawing his sword. "Direct action is where it's at." Faced with the approaching enemies, even Cryo took a wider stance, clicking his beak threateningly.

Tessa blinked. She was fairly certain if she had interrupted anyone, it was the one who'd come on foot. Sure, she had still been talking when Horus started up, but it was hardly her fault if he spoke over her. Maybe he'd expected Tessa to stop when he opened his mouth, but she wasn't the type for the whole meek, retreating violet thing.

Assuming she noticed him open his mouth in the first place. She had not.

She allowed the by-play to go on uninterrupted, though, glancing towards the Tower at Luna's cue. She perked up at the approaching Stalfos, her mind immediately sorting out the little question of 'friend or foe.' Smart money was on foe, but assuming every monster race you encountered was hostile was just rude. Not to mention racist. They could just be intoxicated, after all!

...could Stalfos be intoxicated? Hm. Doubtful. So, yeah, probably enemies, she concluded just as Horus drew his weapon. Adrenaline started rushing into Tessa's system as familiar combat approached, focusing her mind on the task at hand. To what extent she could even be focused, that is. Tessa stepped forward, grinning, and shrugged her shield into place even as her other arm went for her sword. She started forward.

"So, before we start this, anyone gonna speak up? Reveal they're not actually about to attack us before this becomes a trage- woop!" Tessa leaned back to avoid a sloppy punch, only just threatening enough to shut her up. Momentarily. The swing might have hit a Goron in full plate armor, and Tessa was a damned sight lighter than that.

"Right, so-" duck- "last chance to-" parry- "turn around and march back to that tower!"

Tessa caught the next swing on her shield, shrugged, and pushed. The Stalfos staggered back, and Tessa hopped forward, mentally activating her hover boots as she did. She came down on a cushion of air and slid forward, zipping past the off-balance Stalfos as if she were fighting on ice. Her sword lashed out as she passed it, severing its spinal column. She dropped to the ground just past the resulting pile of bones.

"...how do we know if Stalfos are dead? Like, dead dead. Sprinkle salt on them? Holy water? Just knock'em apart? Whatever. Next!"

"You don't kill Stalfos," Horus snarled. "What are you, stupid? Deluded or possessed or not, they're still the King's men! He could take that as a sign of invasion, do you want to cause an international incident? A war? I think the people outside Ikana have enough to worry about without the literal undead knocking on their doors!" What was it with foreigners and not knowing this stuff, he thought to himself as he threw his foot up and connected it with the closest Stalfos's chin. The skull whipped back from the impact and Horus ran his sword over the ribcage, sending his foe flying.

As true as Horus's words were, Luna thought, they were also the exact reason they were here. If the opposite happened and the King's men, in their altered state, were to attack a settlement or camp of Southern Hyrulean survivors... They could well rally against the kingdom of the undead then, prompting a war from the other side. Whatever the Stone Towers were doing to them had to be stopped. She snapped her fingers to get Cryo's attention and pointed at the pile of bones that remained of the Stalfos Tessa had fought. The bird understood, hopping over and breathing an icy wind over it that encased the bones in ice. That way, they wouldn't get up and cause havoc while they were in the tower, but it wouldn't kill them either. They could just thaw them out later, the Undead required no air.

"Call to Luna or Cryo once you've subdued them!" Horus called to Morgan as he landed his foot on his opponent's shoulder to dislodge it, limiting its offensive options. Once he knew it was out of commission, he gestured Luna over to freeze this Stalfos over as well and hurried towards Morgan, to see if the boy needed help.

"Don't kill the bone men, aye aye! As long as they're not rising up to stab me in the butt or something I'm happy. I already have one hole there, I do not need another. Hah! Okay, that was terrible, I admit it." Tessa glanced at Luna and her loftwing as they froze the first Stalfos, then moved after the next. This one wore armor, but was still unarmed- it would be trickier to defeat, but not difficult.

Or, maybe, it'd be stupidly easy.

She stepped forward, getting its attention, and then just sidestepped as it approached. She tripped it with almost disappointing ease, then slipped her sword under its helmet and separated its neck from its torso.

"Another one down! Put him/her/it on ice, if you would! Agh, this is so boring! I can't banter with them if they don't talk. Can we get some more entertaining enemies in here? Maybe a Darknut or a Moblin? At least they're witty sometimes."

Luna and Cryo set to work freezing the remaining Stalfos, and Horus landed a vicious Wizard Foot in the skull of the final one, sending it flying into the wall of the tower and knocking it out. Cryo hopped over to it, the ground shaking whenever he landed but the bird not wanting to take off and land for such a short distance as he froze it. Horus looked around to ensure that the final enemy had indeed been the final one, before sheathing his sword and sighing. He knew how Stalfos fought, but on account of them being in service to His Majesty, he was uncomfortable fighting them. In that sense, he shared Tessa's hopes that anything they would encounter inside the Stone Towers would be of a different nature.

He turned to Morgan. "We don't know precisely," he said. "But I suspect it's the same as the reason Luna and I are here. His Majesty and his men have noticed something unsavoury radiating from the Stone Towers, and say it alters the Stalfos. He's afraid it will spread to more of Ikana if left unattended, but for obvious reasons he can't send his own men in. So he requested help from us. We were about to go in when the two of you showed up."

Luna was busy inspecting Cryo for injuries, but soon patted him on the neck for a job well done. The bird was truly amazing. It had carried the two of them here in a very short timespan, helped them fight the Stalfos, and still he didn't break a sweat. She was impressed, and she wasn't easily impressed. She watched as Horus turned around and started snarling at Tessa again. "As for you," he said, "I'm sorry the battle with His Majesty's troops was boring, my lady. But if you want more interesting foes to fight, then I suggest you rid us of your presence and make for Death Mountain. I'm sure Ganon will be much more to your taste."

Luna put a hand on his arm to stop his tirade, turning to Morgan. "We could use your help, Morgan," she said, smiling. "Will you come with us? I'm sure His Majesty would reward you for your help."

Tessa wandered over to the one of the iced over Stalfos and poked the ice. It was remarkably solid, considering it had just come straight out of a bird's mouth. Magic! Literally. Maybe the loftwing could teach her how to do that. Cryo seemed pretty smart, after all.

"...be much more to your taste," Horus finished. Tessa jumped, startled at the sudden intrusion. She hadn't noticed him speaking at all!

"Oh, sorry, I was looking at the ice! No idea what you said, but if you'd like to repeat yourself, I would be perfectly happy to listen! It's totally okay if you don't want to; people are always getting so annoyed at the prospect. On second thought, we're burning daylight here! I guess that doesn't matter because we're going inside but I am just so ready! Onwards!"

Tessa turned, abruptly, and walked straight towards the entrance to the nearest tower without checking to see if anyone was following her. They'd be along shortly. Probably.

"That girl is going to walk into one of the traps His Majesty warned us about and die a horrible, painful death, isn't she?"

Luna looked at Horus as they calmly followed behind Morgan and Tessa and Cryo took off behind them. The enormous bird wouldn't follow them inside the tower as it was simply too big to fit through the entrance, but it would circle the tower as they climbed it, ready to jump in when it saw an opportunity and it was needed. Horus sighed. "Honestly, I'd be fine with that. It'd neutralise the trap for us and it'd be good riddance. She's already wearing my patience thin." That had to be a new record. Normally, Horus at least let someone's prowess in battle neutralise any personal annoyances he felt.

It probably didn't help that Tessa hadn't taken the battle seriously. Luna rubbed his arm comfortingly and smiled at him, as the duo finally caught up with Morgan. " Do we see anything interesting or dangerous yet?" the redhead asked, looking into the room spread out before him. It was large and spacious, its centre dominated by what must once have been a large and imposing statue, probably of the god that used to be venerated in Ikana before everyone, well, died. A handful of large insects fluttered about the room peacefully, although that may just have been because they hadn't spotted the company yet. There were no Stalfos or Poes around, either... Horus relaxed a little, Luna's hand slipping off his arm.

"I think we're safe for the moment being," Luna observed. "But I also think we won't find what we're looking for in this room... We'll have to continue on." With that, she turned her head towards the doors on the three sides of the room. "But what way should we go..?"

"All of them!" Tessa responded immediately and cheerfully. "Not all at once though. Splitting up never ends well."

She shrugged, examining the doors with all the focus she could muster. They were...doors...yes, what a marvelous revelation, that. What else? Stone, duh. It wasn't called Stone Tower Temple for nothing. Otherwise...argh! Nothing distinguishing. They were all unlocked, so that was nice. Unless the locks weren't visible, because hey, maybe the designers had actually been sane. Seriously, who locks doors with giant chains? Everyone apparently! Except people that live in civilization. Goodness, who designed these dungeons anyway?

Tessa stepped around the statue carefully, trying to avoid any obviously displaced tiles that might be traps. After a moment of careful stepping, she remembered what boots she was wearing and turned them on again, allowing her to neatly avoid any floor based traps. Genius!

"Draw straws? Each pick a door and play rock paper scissors? No, wait, there's four of us. Can't flip a coin, there's three doors...any chance any of you have been here before? I mean, you live here and all. Hm. No. You would have kept going if you had...maybe we could take a peek inside each room and see which way we can progress in?"

"Yes, please, let us split up," Horus said through clenched teeth. "Anything to not have to suffer your presence for any longer."

"Horus, please." Luna's voice was soothing and pulled him back to reality. It wasn't like him to let his frustration and dislike of someone cloud his judgment of a situation- he was normally practical, like her. Although no one was more practically inclined than Luna, of course. She nodded at Morgan's suggestion to go straight ahead first. They had no indication that one room would be more dangerous than the others, or lead them to their goal more quickly, so there was no reason to not go straight ahead. As they passed by the statue, Horus looked up at it with mild interest. It must have taken a lot of effort to put it here, he thought. Religion made people do all kinds of weird things. Turning back to the door they were approaching, he suppressed a scoff. Religion. Gods. Yeah, right. After the things he had seen and lived, he had stopped believing in any sort of higher power. The only power that mattered was his own. That was the power keeping him and his companions alive and safe- not some woman in the sky.

Behind the door was a wide hallway, littered with Keese and the only audible sounds being their chittering, the scuttling of mice, and the quiet cackling of a Poe next to the door. ...hang on... a Poe? "Oh, excuse me," Horus said as he turned towards the spirit, which was spinning in slow circles in his place. "Do you... live here?"

"The serpentine twins live here at the top at the bottom living people climbing to the gem the blood-soaked emblem of the kingdom the twins climb to the bottom feed feed feed die die die...."

"Ooooookay then." He turned away. "Looks like Stalfos aren't the only Undead affected by whatever it is that changed in here." He looked around the hallway as the Poe behind him rambled on. It was harmless, not seeming about to attack any of them, and kept rambling about the serpentine twins, the top and the bottom, and who knew what else as he stepped away, walking into the dimly-lit hallway.

"Straight ahead! Sure, I'll take it!"

Tessa followed the others through the door, almost missing the Poe entirely. Horus turned to talk to it- odd, that seemed more like something Tessa would do- and was met by a wall of nonsense not dissimilar to what she might spout. A little too similar, in fact- enough so to pull her attention from the task at hand.

"The serpentine twins live here at the top at the bottom living people climbing to the gem the blood-soaked emblem of the kingdom the twins climb to the bottom feed feed feed die die die...."

"Ohhhh, a gem? Is it pretty? And who are the twins? Are they snakes? I bet they're snakes. If they're at the top but coming to the bottom and we're at the bottom going to the top, does that mean we could just sit here and wait for them? Or will we be meeting them halfway? That would certainly save us some effort either way. Are we supposed to feed them to not die? No, they're trying to feed. On...us, yeah? That sounds unpleasant. I'd rather not be an appetizer. Here's an idea: why don't you try telling them not to eat us. Much better plan!"

As Tessa spoke, the Poe continued to spout more and more nonsense back at her, and the volume of both participants in the conversation- if it could be called that- rose until they were effectively shouting at each other. No information was really being exchanged, but neither appeared willing to step away, as if they had formed some sort of recursive loop of stupid and were trapped inside it. At least, until Tessa realized she had been left behind.

"Womp! Looks like I gotta go. Talk to you later! Hopefully when you're slightly less crazy," she said, unaware of the irony. She ran down the hall until she caught up to the group. "What'd I miss? More hallway. Mooooooore hallway. This is a very long hallway. Why did they make this hallway so long? And where are the stairs? Apparently the twins want to meet us, and they're upstairs! And also they want to eat us, but, hey, no one's perfect."

Horus led the group into the hallway, keeping his sixth sense, his ears, and his eyes peeled for any suspicious noises, movements, or presences that would pose a threat to them. There was no sense in wasting bolts and energy killing every single Keese in the temple, of course, but if something truly dangerous were to pop up, he wanted to be alerted to it before it would be too late. Luna and Morgan were polite enough, and far enough behind him, that he could tune out their quiet conversation, allowing him to focus on his own responsibility.

Luna nodded at Morgan. "We've met him on a few occasions... he was the one who gave us asylum in Ikana when we came here with Horus's parents and the others. So long as we cause no trouble, he allows us to live here... and in return, we help him with matters that require resources or abilities that the Undead can't provide. Such as the current situation." Horus had his pride, after all. He had wanted to repay the generosity the king had shown. She was just about to give an assessment of His Majesty's personality and temper when Tessa showed up out of nowhere, startling them both, and gave a cry of surprise.

Within seconds, Horus was with them, snatching Tessa by the upper arm with one hand and roughly grabbing her face with the other to force her to look at him. "Will you finally behave?" he hissed, his anger as plain as ever. He was already fed up with the girl. Straying from the group, lacking the proper respect for Ikana and the Stone Towers' ability to very painfully kill a grown Goron, not bloody listening when she was told these things by someone who had lived here for almost his whole life... and now adding to that by surprising Luna and Morgan. "I will warn you once that I have no patience for games, and my reflex to surprise is to kill the source before identifying it. You are a liability and I do not want you near my friends." He let go of Tessa's face, using his grip on her arm to drag her to his front. "Keep walking." He gave her a shove. "You're staying here where I can keep an eye on you. Bloody tourists reducing me to a goddamn babysitter..."

Luna watched the entire thing almost mesmerized. When Horus continued on the path, she turned back to Morgan, looking at him with a mix of relief at Tessa's behaviour being addressed and slight fear at Horus's rage. She'd seen him angry before, of course, but not at his own companions. "...His Majesty is a just ruler," she said, answering Morgan's question from before. "Strict, and not very friendly... but just and generous."

Horus continued walking behind Tessa, so caught up in his anger that he didn't see the shadows dancing in the corners.

"Doesn't tourist imply willingness to be somewhere though? I mean, I'm hardly just here touring Ikana. If I had my way I'd be, like, a hundred miles away in some nice little caves. Ikana is hardly a vacation spot! Well, neither are the Western Caves, but hey, who's counting? Tourism is a great money maker though! You should totally try to revitalize Ikana as a tourist trap! Who doesn't love some spooky haunted houses and ghosts and jump scares? Northern Hylians would just eat that stuff up lemme tell you," Tessa rambled on, as if oblivious to the grip on her arm. She rubbed her face somewhat absently, as if having forgotten already why it hurt in the first place.

"Me, I can take care of myself, though! I mean, sure, I'm all over the place, but I see all the traps, and I know how to fight perfectly well, thank-you-very-much!" she continued, changing tracks instantly. "Like the pressure plates in the first room. Or the tripwire at the front of the hall someone already triggered. Also, did you notice the shadows are moving? Cuz I sure did, and that is straight up creepy. Probably dangerous too. Can shadows attack people? Is there some hazardous creature here that likes to hide in shadows? Seems like the kind of thing Ikana would have. We should probably do something about that, and not, y'know, just keep walking further into them."