If You Think this will End Well, You are Wrong

Wiki sighed, knowing it was either moving her arms or whistling. Screw it. She whistled, almost pathetically, and the arrow followed suit. It inched out of her quiver, and then into her hand. Wiki threw it, jumping up and.. then falling flat on her face. Whatever. She rolled over, she was fine … just needed another rest. She let out some sort of expletive and continued to whistle… the arrow flopping around lazily through the air. It hit the last of the skeleton kids in the head… and Wiki groaned as it continued moving towards them.

“Guy,” Wiki said speaking on her side while lying down, “Listen. I have a genuine proposition for you, and it has nothing to do with your sister.” She slowly got up, rolling out of the way of a swipe from the monster’s boney club. “I’m not stupid, I know I’m screwed, I’m going to jail.” She grinned. “Good thing I got a really good lawyer.”

“But uh, I need a favor,” she said, finally pulling out her bow. “I just need you to take a picture of that chick when she books me. With my pictobox” Wiki shot an arrow at the beast. “Come on. I know you don’t like cops. This is your chance to nail someone in the court of law for obvious racial profiling!”

…

Navina smiled slightly. “I need you to distract her. She’s… obviously not the best at combat. I’m assuming you know how these things usually work.” Navina lowered her fighting stance when she realized that the Boes weren’t attacking them right away. “… During the ‘big bad’, so to speak, I don’t care how you do it, help me subdue her without killing her.” She grimaced. “I don’t know what you’ve been informed about that woman, but she is dangerous” – albeit because the Deku was a giant loose cannon, not because she was even remotely competent – “Seven people died, more injured, their bodies scorched and burned, one’s throat slit open before set needlessly aflame. Sixteen children without fathers and mothers, Sir.” Navina’s face grew grim.

Navina nodded after a moment. She wasn’t really in the mood to kill Boes. They were rather cute, and honestly rather harmless. She would have to keep this in mind for later; she had been previously unaware that Boes were afraid of fire. “… I’d appreciate that.” She offered Tent a small smile. “.. and There’s always something watching us, Tent.” She figured he’d appreciate that.

Guy whipped out a hatchet and tossed it almost lazily at the last Stalchild, embedding in its face with a disturbing CRACK. After plucking his weaponry back up, he moved over towards Wiki as she just... laid on the ground. He sighed, wondering whether or not he should prod her with his boot.

After listening to her proposition, he shrugged, "What kind of proposition is that? I perform you a favor I'd rather not do... and I get nothing in return except what you perceive as some sort of weird satisfaction." Seriously, he got tired of 'sticking it to the man' more than ten years before Wiki herself was even born. In truth, she didn't have much concern about Wiki getting jailed or not--it probably meant she would stop mentioning his sister and implying he wants to fuck a bee for a while. It wasn't like he thought of Navina as a real threat to him, regardless. "Make it worth my while," he offered. In truth, Wiki didn't have much of anything he wanted, to his knowledge. With a bit of a shrug, he walked away from her and began inspecting the room instead.

He found himself pushing apart vines that hung from a high, roughly thirty-foot ceiling. Guy assumed he might actually have to climb instead of just soaring up there... Hopefully there was some kind of mechanism in here that opened up the holes again. He could take or leave Navina at this point, but he'd rather have Tent at his side.

...

Tent smiled a bit at her last words--though it did leave his question unanswered. After finding a makeshift hunk of wood nearby--there was plenty in here, strangely--he ignited its tip. He wrapped a few wet vines around it, so the flame didn't travel too easily down the shaft to her hand, then handed it to Navina. Unlike Guy and Wiki, he was from a family that couldn't see in the dark--so he appreciated the added illumination himself.

"In regards to Wiki, I'll... see what I can do." He was still uneasy about the proposition, but Guy didn't have a very high opinion of her either, and she hardly seemed to be what Tent would consider a good person. He sighed, heavily--did she really murder that many people? He was unsure if Guy would associate with someone like that, but, hoped he would understand Tent couldn't just let something like this slide. He hoped Navina was being honest with him... but at the same time, didn't want to believe his friend was harboring a serial killer. ( ...If he only knew. )

"In any case... we should try to find a way to the others." He gave a weak smile--the same one he gave after the Mad Scrubs died at Navina's hands. Forcing himself not to sigh, he moved towards the walls carefully, wondering if there were stairs he didn't notice earlier.

Wiki cringed, knowing Guy had her stuck between a rock and a hard place. She thought it over for awhile, rolling around on the ground while Guy looked for mechanism to open up the holes. She was formulating a lot of different ideas, but none of them were really that great. Dammit."Alright, alright..." Wiki began, facing up towards the ceiling. She gestured with her hands as she spoke. "Ok, two options," She illustrated that with her figures, on the hand that ... had more fingers.

"One, as I said, excellent lawyer. I know your sister is in trouble, bud. But.. .I... uh, hate... hate to sort of admit this but I got connections." She glanced towards Guy. "My parents aren't uh, my parents don't... really share my views." She of course was alluding to her xenophobic, racist, overtly nationalistic ideals. "... ... let's just say they made quite a few connections being one of the only houses in the forest willing to take whomever in." Wiki really hated admitting she came from wealth. Wiki really hated admitting she came from known wealth. Even though Levett was a decently common name, mentioning that detail was worth something to people who knew forest conventions. Local legend family and depending on who you asked, either hated or adored.

"Uh, ok, so, lets move on," Wiki suddenly stood up. "Option two, the far better one, in my opinion. But, warning you now, it totally involves your sister." She glanced around the room, spying not a lever but another pressure plate near Guy. She began to move towards it. "... your sisters batshit, but I seriously think I can help. It's just... a bit unconventional. I can't give you details, but I promise... it's nothing awful." Bullshit. Wiki can't help. Wiki can never help. Don't believe her lies.

"Thank you, I appreciate it. You're a good person, Tent," Navina said, and nodded in agreement. They needed to find a way to Guy and Wiki first. However, moments later the holes in the wall opened up. One awful Deku Scrub's head peered down, shocked to find so many little black, disgusting puff balls running around.
"Hey, congratulations, look who's solving all the problems," Wiki said and flashed a disgusted face at Tent and Navina.

Navina sighed, at least she could use the rope now without executing a convoluted plan. She couldn't wait for this experience to be over, mostly because there was nothing stopping her from bringing at least some slime to justice. She glanced over at Tent. It probably wasn't fair to Tent's emotional state to to go into any sort of details she might have picked up about friend's his criminal record. She flashed a smile up to Wiki."Please grab the more combat adept of you two and ask him to bring the rope," Navina shouted, a sly smile flashing across her face. Wiki looked like she was about to punch something.

"I'd bet my sword Sienna wouldn't want any help you'd give," Guy chuckled at the mere notion of it. "As for the other bit... I honestly had been wondering if you were one of those Levetts." It seemed almost too convenient for Wiki to just suddenly have wealth attached to her name. She almost constantly looked and acted like a deranged hobo, how could he not be suspicious?

He proceeded to feel along the walls a bit more, though was still mostly absorbed in the thought of Wiki's proposition. It isn't as though Navina thought of him highly anymore, anyway, and he was rapidly losing respect for her as well. If he borrowed Wiki's Pictobox, she would probably have a hard time getting it back from him--regardless of whether or not he actually took the pictograph. For now, it seemed, it would be best to keep his options open. Thus he admitted, "Lend me the 'box, and I'll see what I can do." He grimaced slightly, holding out his hand, "...Don't say I never did anything for you." Who was he kidding? She probably didn't even appreciate the dozen-or-so times he saved her life.

. . .

After stepping on the pressure plate, Guy overhead Navina and Wiki quibbling, at which point he shrugged and sauntered over to hold the rope for them. "Wiki, help me hang onto this." He hoped she would just fucking do it. If not, he would take a moment to whip out a few nails, and use the flat pommel of his sword to hammer the end of the rope into the ground. There was little doubt he could support Navina's weight--it was more a concern that he had nothing solid to brace against, and thus might end up sliding into the hole himself...

Tent let Navina go first, and made sure she was all the way up, before clambering up the rope himself. He glanced towards the Boes with a slight smirk. Would Din approve of having one of those as a pet? He'd... have to mull it over. In any case, eventually all four of them made it up to the next floor without further hassle, at which point Guy recovered his rope and nails.

"The Stalchildren here were vanquished," he explained flatly. For better or worse, no one was concerned when it came to killing undead. After getting a safe distance away from Wiki and Navina, he torched himself so the others could get a better view through the darkness. Tent and Navina--through her torch--enabled it to seem like daylight in the strange room.

Only then the group notice several squirming gelatinous blobs on the ceiling, the sudden illumination glistening off their bodies. Guy didn't have time to count them before Tent announced, "Chuchu up top!" There wasn't too much concern in his voice. These slimy things were almost as easy as Keese...

She flinched when Guy made the connection. Admitting she was related to such sorry excuse for scrubs was always such a burden. Awful. But at least they were rich and naive sorry excuses for scrubs. Wiki still smiled and passed Guy the Pictobox. She'd fuck him up if he didn't return it to her eventually. (She would cross the bridge of how exactly that would be an actual feasible course of action when and if she got to that bridge, however). She opted to help Guy without complaint. Honestly, what made her the most nervous about the Pictobox is the possibility Guy would take more than just pictures of Navina (hopefully) beating the shit out of her. She glanced at him while pulling the rope. She sort of just realized she had just passed him a literal and terrifying looking glass into her very warped perspective on the world. Whoops. SHIT commander Tits and ass and nose weighed a lot more than she looked.

"Guy please," Wiki said, obviously struggling with the rope. "Give me some credit. Do you really think I would ever mention my absolutely abysmally embarrassing bloodline to you if I had any other card to play?" Probably. "Besides, I have more papers to verify it than a well bred dog does." It was true, if only because Wiki had swiped a bunch before she ran off. For a moment, her mind flashed to what her parents might be doing at this very moment and she shivered. Probably entertaining noisy, smelly guests and being the absolute worst. The worst. She glanced over at Guy again before watching Navina and Tent crawl up. Piece of shit would probably like her parents. (The worst)

"Thank you," Navina said as she climbed through the hole. She looked over at Guy and offered him an apologetic look. Both because she was a lot heavier than a scrub and also because Wiki probably didn't help in the slightest alleviating said burden from him.

Navina quickly jumped into action, Wiki quickly jumped into exasperation. She began kick off the wall to get height to swipe at the ceiling creatures, cutting them effortlessly in half. Wiki... Wiki contributed little if anything. Her actions are not really worth describing. Once all of the creatures were gone, one of the thicker vine patches on the wall would shrivel completely and die, revealing a door to another (actually constructed) staircase.

Guy knew from experience that any document was ridiculously easy to forge with the proper know-how. With the Pictobox stowed in his pouch, they heaved--well, mostly Guy heaved--up the others.

When he was thanked, Guy felt strangely uneasy. Why was she looking at him like that? It was as if she knew he was going to betray her. How was that even a betrayal? It would be easy to play off, regardless, even if she did somehow manage to hear their conversation. Gerudo ears weren't that big...

Guy and Tent rather easily cleaned shop with the Chuchu. There were a lot like mosquitos, in Tent's eyes. Not only were they harmful, but they were ugly, spread disease, and didn't even seem to mind feeling pain. Clearing them from this world seemed like it was not only a favor to Din, but of all the sentient races. Their medicinal properties worked better in captivity, anyway.

In short, nearly a dozen of the little monsters were sliced into pieces or burnt into lifeless paste with relative ease. One of them managed to tackle Tent to the ground, but the blow wouldn't leave anything but a mild bruise. Guy had a relatively time methodically evading their rather stupid jumping attacks, always countering with a relatively easy strike to slice their gelatinous bodies in half.

When all was said and done, they moved towards the staircase. Tent considered how best to... deal with... Wiki. A blunt force over the head seemed unpleasant for all parties involved, especially if he didn't manage to hit her hard enough to work. No, she was unarmed, so it should be fairly easy to tackle her to the ground and pin her. Inferno would be more damaging to herself than him, and he believed the only other trick she had was whistling... Maybe he could gag her somehow?

"Damn, can't even keep my sword clean for a minute," Guy smirked. "Tent, aim a burst towards--"

Tent's gauntlet flung a tiny bead of light high in the air, towards where Guy pointed. It burst into flames, lightning a giant chandelier-like bonfire which hung from the ceiling. The others could see clearly now that the room was lined with five huge windows, through which starlight was clearly visible. As if on cue, an armored Aeralfos screeched ferociously, dive-bombing the quartet of invaders as they made their way into the colossal chamber's center...

Wiki also knew that documentation was easy to forge. But Wiki also knew that if anyone really wanted to forge relation to her disgusting, awful family they would have to be pretty pathetic. She shivered. She could almost hear the folk music and laughing of joyous foreigners just thinking about her parents. Awful.

So Wiki was more than excited to see something to distract her from her thoughts, even if it was something blatantly trying to kill her.

"Five of these assholes is a bit excessive, don't you think?" Wiki screeched at no one in particular before firing an arrow from her bow. It missed, of course. Her voice got scratchier in frustration. "-- Lying in wait and doing nothing but jackinG OFF IN THE WINDOW." At that moment Wiki slammed her body flat onto the ground to avoid getting her head chopped off. A shame, the Aeralfos would have been doing everyone a favor.

Navina scowled and took her shield off her back. She felt exposed, and honestly was not looking forward to completing the rest of her task without armor. She grimaced. She'd probably have to go back for it after she knocked out Wiki. At least Dekus were light.

The Gerudo watched one of the lizards carefully, making sure to keep others in her peripheral vision to dodge any sudden dives. Without hesitation and when the moment was right, Navina slammed her body forcefully into one of the flying beasts. The tackle sent it careening off its course, and Navina was quick to jump on the opportunity. She quickly ran towards the beast, faster now that her armor was off, and jumped onto it. Her body weight slammed into it, knocking whatever chance it had of recovery off the table. Navina stabbed repeatedly and without concern for whatever pain the creature might be feeling. It's sputtered screams eventually came to a halt and Navina quickly jumped off the creature.

She rubbed the shoulder that slammed into the beast, pain resonating through it. One down, four to go.

Even Guy had a difficult time tracking all five Aeralfos as they soared through the air. Three came divebombing for different targets, but... not Guy. What the hell. Where they just afraid to attack a fellow who was on fire? That just seemed racist. Instead, he spotted one that was looking for a different target. Thinking quickly (and recklessly), he soared high into the air as Roc's Scarf fluttered behind him. He then double-jumped, before finally propelling into the beast a split-second before it dove. Guy's flaming body slammed into its side, arms clenched around its form as his dagger stabbed ferociously into the creature's side. He felt the wings flapping frantically, struggling to maintain altitude as the flaming Scrub sizzled its hide. Its limbs smacked and clawed at Guy's flaming face.

Just as he was about to take a pommel to the forehead, Guy's gullet launched forth a Deku Nut right against the creature's hide, loosing a blinding flash that prevented its attack. It gave Guy the opportunity to twist the knife deeper, clutching desperately onto the creature's body just long enough for its wings to give way. The two plummeted towards the ground, before Guy finally loosed one more propel at a downward angle, tackling the Aeralfos to the ground, and smashing his stone body on top of it like a piledriver. The moment the monster was squashed between a rock and a hard place, a grotesque CRUNCH echoed out as its spine audibly broke.

Guy rose off its corpse, whipping its blade out of its side. He was going to feel those bruises in the morning, that's for sure--but he couldn't hit them from a distance, and couldn't just wait around for everyone else to do his dirty work.

- - -

Tent spied an Aeralfos still perched on the window, carefully aiming a shortbow--at who, Tent couldn't tell. He launched a bead of light high into the air, towards it. At the last moment, the Aeralfos noticed the light, then turned and shot recklessly right towards Tent, breaking his concentration. The fiery explosion detonated inches away from its target, as an arrow shot against the side of his barbute. Thank Din for this helm.

As the Aeralfos took flight, the two began rapidly exchanging inaccurate shots. Tent had difficulty landing a relatively slow projectile on a moving target, even as he spammed it wildly. Simultaneously, the monster's wingflaps made it difficult to shoot a small, armored target with great accuracy...

Tent was forced to leap to the side as another monster launched towards him, but quickly retaliated with a leaping, flaming superman punch. He was aiming for its face, but only managed to smash its wing. The monster crashed recklessly into the ground. Just as he was about to charge in to finish it off, he felt a blunt force smash into the back of his helm, sending him skidding face-first into the ground. "D-Din's grace," he breathed, realizing that if the angle on that shot had been only slightly better, there would be an arrow through his skull right now.

He quickly pushed himself up, suddenly realizing he was using his fists to fight a grounded, sword-wielding Aeralfos, while another one aimed arrows at him from the sky. "Din save me," he bellowed, as his fists surged with flames.


(Two down, three to go. Two of those three are attacking Tent, the poor bastard.)

Well maybe Guy just didn't roll a 20 on his perception. Get good noob.

Wiki and Navina both glanced at Tent. Somewhere along the line, both Navina and Wiki had decided it was probably best if Tent was on their good side. Poor Wiki. That being said, Wiki got an incredibly lucky aim on her inferno spell - good thing that Aeroalfos in the air was so close to the wall! The Deku glared at Navina and ... Navina still rushed in. There was no way anyone could trust Wiki to accomplish anything that involved combat. Plus, Navina... Navina wasn't really sure if she should trust Wiki to save Tent's life.

The Deku grimaced. What an asshole. She whistled, an arrow flying out of her quiver. She cocked it quickly and fired it at the other of the things attacking the Deku... maybe a little bit too close to Navina's head. Maybe Wiki could have whistled it further away...

Navina shivered, feeling an arrow whiz by her head right before she jumped on top of one of the lizard beasts. Disgusting little Deku, her arrow didn't even hit the creature! Augh. Navina used all of her strength to slam down and then pull back on the creature's neck, stunning it in the process. It collapsed to the floor and Navina quickly hopped away, a small smirk popping across her face. Her sword quickly dove into its neck.

The one that Wiki had set on fire had crashed landed ... well... it was on fire... and flailing about! So there was that, so it was still definitely moving.

Navina glanced towards the flaming creature, before glancing towards Tent. Could he get up on his own? Probably, there was a bigger issue at hand anyways. Navina creeped behind the flailing creature. With no clunky armor to weigh her down, she didn't sound like a pile of jingling keys anymore. Besides, her target being on fire helped. She quickly readied her shield and blitzed toward the creature, knocking it off balance before slamming her sword into its neck. She smiled. It probably was pretty hard to fly when your wings were cooking.

Wiki glanced around. Wait a second, she was definitely keeping track of the kill count... there were now two more dead ones... and there was also definitely still an Aeralfos flying around. Probably near Guy? Who fucking knew, who cared. Wiki was busy making sure she didn't die.

After launching two throwing knifes--and narrowly missing--Guy managed to get the Aeralfos attention. He could see from the corner of his eye the others being taken down. He was almost surprised this monster didn't outright flee, considering it was getting massacred by a smaller force that couldn't even fly.

His attention returned back to the Aeralfos. No bow, apparently, as it abruptly divebombed Guy. At least they were attacking him now, even if that was a terrible, terrible mistake to make. Guy abruptly leaped high into the air thanks to his cape, completely evading the attack, before abruptly propelling downward with vicious force. His blade stabbed clean through the creature's back, as both it and Guy tumbled wildly across the ground. Guy rolled onto his feet quickly--the blade was still lodged in the creature's body as it arose. Before it could attempt to take flight, Guy launched a knife towards it, stabbing it in the chest. With two blades pin-cushioning its body, the creature stumbled backwards, before crumpling onto its back. A puddle of green blood was forming around it.

Guy glanced back towards his companions. They seemed to be taking care of the rest, which left Guy with the somewhat unpleasant task of finishing off this one. He slid over to its body, watching with a bit of unease as the body barely clung to life. He could see hazy eyes looking up at him. Sighing heavily, he slid his sword out of its mangled body, before slicing its neck and ending its suffering. "Idiot should've just ran, at that point..."

With the battle seemingly over, Guy's body extinguished back into solid stone. While wiping the blood off his sword, he walked over towards the others. "No one's injured?"

"Just some bruises," Tent admitted, smiling a small, fake small. Trying to keep his mind off death, he reflected on tactics. Although he had gone on campaigns like this before, it seemed odd to not have some kind of magical healer in a group of this size. It was a miracle they'd gotten out unscathed so far...

Guy nodded towards Navina and Wiki. They both seemed fine. "Now then..." He glanced up, seeing a flat ceiling. "...How do you suppose we get out of here?"

Tent glanced at the windows uneasily, "Worst case scenario... maybe there's a staircase or vines to climb, outside."

Wiki stretched. Then she felt it, the unmistakable dripping of sap. She sighed, realizing that she must've not felt the... holy shit this was a big gash. With the adrenaline fading out of her, Wiki finally began to feel the pain. She hissed, realizing how much she probably messed up whatever long injury it was by running around and firing her bow so rapidly. When did this even happen? At the beginning of the fight? When she was so pissed off she couldn't see strai-- yeah that was definitely when it happened.

"C-Couldn't be better!" Wiki stuttered out, grasping onto her cloak. She knew her back well enough, maybe she could sustain the illusion that the cloak wasn't a little torn and maybe leaking sap?! Yeah, yeah Wiki could totally concentrate on that.. until she actually had to do something besides run her mouth, that is. Feeling her arm up and down her back, she realized that the gash probably wasn't as big as she initially thought. She glanced at her companions and grumbled, realizing that it wasn't even worth hiding that she was the weakest link. She broke the illusion and slumped. How pathetic.

The Gerudo glanced at Wiki... before noticing the bleeding sap on her hand. An eyebrow cocked. For reasons she couldn't explain, she felt sorry for the girl.. but only for a moment. Navina's attention was turned away from the injured Deku Scrub by the twinkling of a chest appearing in the middle of the room. She opened it.. only to find... powder? Her eyebrows raised even further, and she distributed one pouch to each of the members of the party. No sooner than thirty seconds later did she regret this decision, as Wiki found out she could begin throwing said powder on the floor to create way more fire than was necessary to propel oneself upwards with the blast. Could Dekus without any protective gear even use this item?

As soon as the chest was open, a sign popped up in the middle of the room... directing the group on exactly how to use this item. How incredible! Magic! At that moment, random stones began to move from the walls... making various, moving platforms that one could use to access the next part of the tower. Somehow, the tower continued to support itself after this magical jenga. M A G I C.

"Uh," Wiki said, looking down at the pouch. She remembered she had completely bare and completely wooden feet. "I can... uh, climb, you guys go ahead. Not a big deal." Navina shrugged and began to ascend.

Wiki lightly tapped Guy's shoulder - a rare friendly gesture from Wiki, extremely frightening - signalling for him to wait for a moment and to let Navina and Tent go on ahead. Once they were mostly out of earshot, Wiki began to speak. ".. if you're thinking I'm going to give you anything else to 'hold onto', you're sadly mistaken," She looked at Guy, then back at her newly acquired item... and then down to the pouch that contained her Pictobox. and snickered. "... I really doubt you're going to want to hold onto that thing for very long anyways."

Tent was bewildered by how the dungeon just seemed to magically give them an item, much less explain it for no apparent reason. Not only that, but the stairs just formed out of nothing! "D-Din has blessed us!" He beamed abruptly, almost wildly, as he swiped his share of the powder, quickly read the sign, and began racing up the stairs, "This can only be a sign from Her Grace, the goddess!!" Why else would an evil tower just decide to so blatantly help them?

Guy had seen this sort of thing enough times, without explaining it, that he thought Tent might actually be right. It certainly was... suspicious... almost as suspicious as Wiki tugging on his arm. She was speaking paranoid gibberish, which was nothing new. Her cloak was also pouring sap, which again was nothing new. He guessed she got injured--because everyone here knows she couldn't fight but tried to do so anyway--but was too proud to admit it. He sighed, heavily. She so often appeared like a writhing, yapping tongue that refused to do anything but bite the hand that fed it. It was a wonder--or perhaps a tragedy--she made it this far in life without dying.

Speaking of which, he asked rather blatantly, "Are you going to die?" A grimace spread across his face--that certainly wouldn't be a bad prospect. It would make Navina capturing her an easier task, that's for sure. He was more than reluctant to state, "Maybe... Tent knows a healing spell... or something." Expecting her to blatantly refuse his offer, he slowly turned away from her, and began to ascend the stairs before he had to sit and listen to the inevitable enraged tirade which followed.

Why? Well maybe it was leading them into a trap. Maybe Tent should stop being so stupidly optimistic and realize when he's being lead down a path of destruction. That's what Wiki would think, anyways, considering that's always what happened in these sorts of places when they decided to play nice. Every other chest a trap, every companion an asshole.

"Huh?" Wiki looked at Guy, snapped out of her thoughts by his question. She idly touched her back and then was suddenly and without warning yelling again. "I plan to live forever, so no, I'm not going to die." It was true, she totally did plan on living forever... but everyone sort of knew that Wiki was destined to die eventually. And at the rate she was going, sooner rather than later. "But uh, thanks but no thanks. I bet I can convince myself the Gerudo did it anyways..."

Navina followed Tent, albeit not running as fast. When required, Navina jumped, wall kicking occasionally and using her new item to its fullest extent. Wiki was lazy. Wiki just used her patented rat-like climbing abilities. Eventually, after what seemed like far too short a climb for Navina and far too long a climb for Wiki, the group will find themselves increasingly pelted by wind. It seems like they were approaching the top of the tower and the builders had almost neglected to finish it.

"How the shit does this thing stand up?!" Wiki screeched, looking at all of the various holes in the wall. Without warning, Navina quickly shot her arms and legs out. The Deku woman slammed into her meaty thighs, and before the wooden creature could scream, Navina pointed at the hazard she had just saved Wiki from, silencing her. A large gust of wind blew through an obscenely large hole in the wall, blowing hard enough that it would knock a Hylian off let alone a Deku.

"Well, then..." It seemed to navigate this room, they were expected to either pass through wind unphased, or jump over or around each of them with their new toys. "...Wiki doesn't want my help; Navina, I'm sorry, you're too big; so it looks like you get to save yourself some hassle, Tent."

Tent blinked at him, curious as to what he was getting at. In a few seconds, Tent found himself plucked up and slung over Guy's shoulder. From there, Guy abruptly hopped onto the wall, and effortlessly walked between the holes to the other side. No Keese ambushed him or anything.

Just kidding. Two Peahats totally flew in out of nowhere, one of which clipped his shoulder and nearly sent him flinging downward into a windy death. Even from his awkward position, Tent was able to flung out a Din's Burst, setting aflame the helicopter-leaves of one Peahat. As he took aim at the other, Guy abruptly turned and spat a Deku Nut right in its face. The bewildered Peahat dropped several feet and, before it could regain its composure, was launched clear out of the tower thanks to that potent and endless gust.

"Well," Guy smirked, "At least they tried to stop us."

Without much further fanfare, Guy slid onto the other side, and dropped Tent onto his feet. He cracked his neck, wincing slightly in doing so. "Damn... I like to think I'm strong, but you're rather heavy for a Deku Scrub."

Tent smiled a bit, "Guess it's the armor. Thanks for taking me across... Too bad there isn't much we can do for the others." He glanced towards Navina and Wiki with a somewhat pitiable look. "It doesn't seem there's a way to turn off the wind, or anything, even from over here."

'Thanks for offering your help to an injured woman, asshole,' a sarcastic and familiar voice appeared alongside familiar colored leaves instantly in front of Guy.

Navina wouldn't have too much of an issue getting up, and she looked down at Wiki, obviously hearing her speak as she cast her spell at the other Deku Scrub who had run ahead. Navina sighed deeply. She was going to regret this, holding out her hand for Wiki to grab. Her face was stern, both women taking a silent vow into hegemony, and that this action changed nothing between them.

In an instant, Navina threw Wiki onto her shoulders. Wiki let out a noise of genuine surprise as she was lifted deftly into the air. Navina grinned, Wiki hardly weighed as much of one of her younger sisters. Without her armor, this would be easy. Wiki, however, felt ridiculously embarrassed. She wanted nothing to do with this, but knew in her heart it would be fucking stupid not to accept Navina's help. Opportunity COSTS.

After about a minute or two of jumping, dodging, and weaving between Peahats, Navina and Wiki made it to where Guy and Tent were standing. As Navina let Wiki off her shoulders, Wiki couldn't help but be sort of impressed.

"Your armor's more of a hindrance than an asset, you know," Wiki said flatly, wiping off her cloak of any admittedly skilled Gerudo cooties. "Sort of stupid to wear it."

"Watch your tongue," Navina scoffed. "I just helped you up, this is the thanks I get?"

Wiki eyed the Gerudo, pausing momentarily and sizing her up. "... criticism is great thanks."

Navina was fuming. She couldn't wait to book this rude woman. She ignored whatever door was in front of her, opting to take a few seconds to calm down before taking on whatever challenge lied ahead. Wiki took this as indication that she won, and proceeded to rest a moment, basking in her victory.

Tent glanced at Wiki uneasily, "I've... seen Guy offer you assistance at least twice now." He hesitated, slightly, "You needlessly refused both times..." His eyes averted, and he trailed off. In truth, he really just felt the need to think of her as a 'bad' person, to distance himself from her, so he would feel less guilty should he later need to betray her. When was the right opportunity to do so? In any case, he really... just didn't want to look at her. Instead, he moved towards a plain-looking door ahead of them. Trying not to sigh, he asked, "Are we ready to move on?"

Guy glanced uneasily between the two women. He didn't overhear their conversation, but could surmise from their mixed expressions what had transpired. Not only that, but Tent obviously wasn't as accustomed to terrible people as he himself had become, it seemed. He was a bit concerned that he was beginning to feel like the most well-adjusted person in this group...

...He couldn't help but wonder, 'Wiki's one thing, but how did I became the sane one? For fuck's sake, I'm high right now and made out of stone.'

Hearing no response, Tent pushed the door open, its hinges creaking audibly. With a bit of a shrug, Guy followed after him. He was becoming less and less interested in whether or not the others would follow. In truth, he was sort of hoping the inevitable arrest attempt would be made. Why else would holier-than-thou Navina bother coming into this place with two known criminals? The pillar was far too elaborate of a trap, and she had several opportunities so far, so... what was the deal? Why were they still going? Hopefully it would be over soon.

But no, it wasn't. The room before them held a giant spiral staircase, which everyone except Guy spent what must've been a half-hour ascending--because wall-walker masterrace. The only enemies were a handful of Keese and Chuchus, all of which were finished off without much fanfare. No sooner did they fully ascend the stairs, then another ear-crushing cry rang out.

Another two floors followed that--one entailing puzzle that required them to move a giant ball into a hole to create a staircase, and another that required them to four different switches with precise timing in the exact same moment. Considering how immensely well this group worked as a team, it was another hour before both puzzles were finished.

The quartet were ascending yet another set of stairs, and it seemed as though Tent was getting tired. At this point, Guy was wondering how Wiki managed to not bleed out and die yet. Before he could ponder it further however, his concentration was shattered by the bellow of an ear-piercing, mind-shattering cry--so loud he was forced to over his stone ear-holes.

Tent glanced up, "That creature... it's right above us, isn't it...?" He silently hoped Din was still protecting them. In his mind, it was the only explanation for how three Deku Scrubs made it this close to the fabled beast without losing their minds.

((woke up reread wrote this on hardly any sleep wiki's being kind of godmod in this post just let me know if i should edit ))

"Hey buddy," Wiki snapped at Tent. The 'buddy' was hardly friendly. "I didn't have a giant gash in my back then. He just does things to rile people up." Wiki looked slyly at Navina, the Gerudo suddenly realizing she played right into the Deku's hand. Navina didn't fall for it again, not even a twitch. "... But yeah, considering I'm wounded, sure, I'm ready."

Navina nodded. She wasn't really in the talking mood. Her silence was evident throughout the puzzles, a trait that the group probably wished Wiki took on as well. Wiki of course contributed nothing physical to the solving of these puzzles, just barked orders and angry explicit words. Navina had learned by now to just ignore Wiki's insults, infuriating the Deku (but entertaining Navina).

--

Eventually, the group reached a rather elaborate door. Why Wiki hadn't bled out yet was a mystery, but honestly she had assumed that the sap had gotten pretty tacky by now. It's not like Wiki was filled with an inferior substance that splattered around everywhere and wasn't very viscous when it needed to be. Suddenly, a piercing scream emanated throughout the room. Navina quickly pulled out her sword and shield, however, the Gerudo had lost track of the Deku. Panic filled her. Had her prey escaped?

Luckily, Wiki really was a rat, fast and sneaky when she needed to be, but most of the time she was a lazy piece of shit who didn't do much but bring misery and cause destruction wherever she went.

"You bet," Wiki said, appearing basically out of nowhere behind Guy. Had she used the shadows? Did she crawl? Had Guy gotten too comfortable in his high, or maybe he was distracted by the screeching? Who fucking knew. She quickly activated the Sobriety spell and patted Guy on the shoulders, wishing him luck in the fight before skittering off to whatever part of the room looked the least dangerous.

Which was definitely away from the disgusting, giant mouth that was attempting to suck up whatever was in its path. Wiki latched onto a rock, and Navina scrambled to do the same. However, it became apparent to Navina she wasn't going to be able to find such a foothold. She cursed, her hands slipping and her shield already sucked up, realizing the best course of action would be to ride the wind and hope and could slice at -- of course, the powder. She smiled, letting go of the small crevice in the floor she had found. She found herself careening towards the monster's mouth, and then suddenly, she threw the powder at its face, jumping backwards and away from the creature. It exploded and its attack was interrupted, the monster's windy onslaught brought to an end and its vine like appendages recoiling momentarily from the pain.

Tent's face skewed at Wiki. Gash? She was wounded and didn't even bother to tell anyone about it when he asked? Now she was blaming someone for not reading her mind and knowing she had an injury.

It seems like all she did was try to rile people up... In Tent's experience, Guy generally didn't poke people unless Guy himself was poked, so to speak. He liked to imagine that's how most people were. Wiki, however--he was quickly accepting that she was the sort who poked for no reason, or maybe just to be malicious. He wasn't sure.

He hesitated to ask if they should stop and rest after all, but was interrupted when Guy tugged his arm, as if asking him to ignore her.

. . .

. . .

"No." Before Wiki could even skitter off, Guy instantly launched his fist over his shoulder and backfisted the woman right in her snout. He immediately whirled around, then threw a full-body punch right into her face with a loud CRACK. Her body was flung several feet across the room, before skidding across the ground, out cold. Yes, he just decked an injured woman--and it felt grotesquely good. His fist was trembling with an almost euphoric rage.

See, what Wiki didn't seem to realize is that Guy came from an extremely violent upbringing--being the son of what might've been the only mercenary Deku Scrub at the time, and a Mad Scrub who spent nearly her entire life with Gerudo Bandits. Their first two offspring were both incredibly violent, quick to anger, rebellious and practically sociopathic. As the two siblings grew into adulthood, the second-born learned to not only control, but use her insanity. The first-born, Guy, instead did as society dictated men do--bottle up all their emotions until they can function.

This worked, for a time, but bottles can only hold so much substance, and it wouldn't hold forever. Guy only manages to seem laid back and indifferent thanks to his near-constant high. When his inebriation is broken, even gradually, he struggled to keep that bottle corked.

But no, this wasn't gradually, and this wasn't under amiable circumstances. This was like a slap-in-the-face that broke him back into the ugly reality, performed by who was a curse upon his life--the most disgusting, vile, obnoxious cockroach who somehow always managed to survive and come crawling back into his bathroom the last time he wanted to see her. He was injured. He was surrounded by an obnoxious religious zealout and a racist goody-two-shoes. As if that wasn't enough, the second-most-grotesque creature in the room was a gargantuan parasite screaming his head off.

Not even a saint would have been able to keep that bottle shut. Before he started trying to curbstomp Wiki into the floor, Guy quickly popped another mushroom into his mouth. He didn't care if Navina was watching, and Tent already knew about his infliction. It was a wonder the mushroom didn't fly out of his hand--he had been so absorbed in quivering rage that he didn't even realize the giant monster was trying to suck them in. Thankfully a rock-monster isn't easily tossed about...

...Meanwhile, Tent was helplessly flung towards the creature right behind Navina. As the two came soaring closer, Navina launched the powder, and Tent threw a Din's Burst into the creature's face, which if anything only augmented the resulting explosion. The force from the blast flung Tent head-over-heels through the air, his ears ringing from the concussive force. Before he could slam into the ground, Guy managed to scurry forward and break his fall as the two Deku Scrubs collided in an awkward body-catch.

Tent looked at Guy, then Navina, with a firm nod. As his hearing was coming back, he asked, "Where's Wiki?" Guy, now freshly high, gave a shake of a head. Tent figured she was resting--it would be unwise for an injured woman to take part in this battle. Tent prepared another volley of Din's Burst, as Guy whipped out a throwing knife. This certainly didn't seem like it would be an easy fight...

Sometimes, Wiki really wished she could control herself. This would probably have been one of those times, if she wasn't knocked out, splayed out on the floor, dripping blood from both her back and now her messed up snout. If she was conscious, she probably would have been thinking about how fucking stupid she had just been. She probably should have guessed that someone related to Sienna was also batshit. She probably would have also gone on and on about tainted bloodlines and nationalism and bluh bluh bluh ...

...

Navina panicked when Guy entered the room without Wiki... and then panicked a little more when he promptly ate a mushroom. She grimaced, but more importantly, had her prey escaped?! Had Tent told him of Navina's plans? Maybe all three of them really were working together. A Roar escaped the creature in front of her. She had bigger issues right now, and she was confident that she could deal with intoxicated and escaped criminals later.

She looked over at Guy and Tent before she planned out her attack. Both of them seemed capable, and honestly... Navina was sort of glad Wiki wouldn't be around to mess up the flow of the battle. She didn't seem like a very capable fighter, and Navina had to wonder how she had managed to get away with living so long...

Navina quickly jumped out of the way. She didn't want to be in front of the creature anymore considering it's sucking abilities. She sidejumped around and behind it, constantly keeping her eye on the creature. Maybe Tent and Guy were a big enough distraction.

With a moment of concentration, and without regards to what Guy and Tent were doing, Navina jumped, and then began slashing wildly at the thing, intending to make as many cuts as fast as she could.

Good, seemed no one's complaining about the lack of a particular obnoxious cockroach, Guy thought with a sideward glance.

As Navina rushed around the creature, Guy took the opportunity to sling a knife--flinching it just long enough for Navina to reach its backside. Thanks to its colossal mass, the creature seemed so to move or turn. Tent and Guy heard the woman's battle cry as steel tore against hide, and the parasitic beast seemed to... rustle in mild pain? It didn't even turn around? Was it just that stupid, or was its hide somehow impervious to the well-swung blade of an experienced warrior? Guy and Tent were both utterly baffled. Rather than attacking her, the twenty-foot monster shuddered high into the air, its amorphous body reaching twenty feet high, before slamming ferocious fist-like appendages towards towards the two Scrubs.

"Oh come on!" Tent barely managed to skitter out of the way, whereas Guy propelled out of danger with almost obnoxious ease. "Do you not realize your backside is being carved?!" Little did he realize the cuts were healing almost as rapidly as they were being formed. It didn't seem this fight was going to be so easy. Tent was continuously trying to dive out of more ferocious, floor-shaking pounds, his breaths quickly growing heavy as he struggled to throw his armored body around. Apparently this thing was smart enough to attack the slowest of the group.

Guy's flaming attacks seemed to have as much effect. The attack on the mouth seemed to work, but it seemed to have grown smart enough not to expose its weak point repeatedly (IMAGINE THAT!). Left with seemingly no better options, Guy plucked a charge of the Ignition Powder and hurled it at the monster. As it blast apart, the creature again barely seemed to mind--but the concussive force blew apart the mossy hide, revealing something more solid flesh underneath. Before Guy could react to attack, the moss almost instantly reformed over the exposed spot.

He quickly called over to Navina, "Use the Ignition Powder!" With that said, he rushed in, hurling another blast at a portion of the colossal body before them. As the hide was blast apart, Guy propelled in with ferocious stab of his sword. Finally, the creature howled out an unmistakable squeal of pain. Black blood soaked Guy's blade as he pulled it out. His feet kicked off the fleshy body, jumping back before the mossy hide could enclose around him. Suddenly, the monster turned its attention towards Guy, slamming and pounding wildly towards him.

Guy couldn't help but grin. The monster was trying to smash the most agile of them all (or so Guy liked to believe). He darted, feinted, and propelled around the huge-but-clumsy attacks, making it seem easy compared to what Tent was experiencing. He hoped this would give Tent and Navina the openings they needed. If this was the best the monster could do, this fight would be over in no time...