Can You Sea the Trees [Genz, DS, Eternis, ft. Guy] (sea of trees)

"Ah... if my friend was here, I'd have him lend you his cane." But no, that drunkard had to go collapse in a corner. Tent lamented not slinging his Sobriety spell on the sod when he had the chance. Washing Guy's misdeeds from his mind, Tent punted the Hikkun away to instead search for the immediate vicinity.

After a moment he found a deku stick he hoped would be suitable for gerudo size. "But ah, maybe this stick would help?" He offered it to the woman, gently brushing one edge to her hand so grasping it wouldn't be quite so awkward--if that was.

"Anyway," Tent continued, "That strange base made of thicket...?" Was this Gerudo dialect? Tent didn't quite understand what she meant. But, "We both heard that shrill sound, surely. Unless we have something else to go on that seems like our best bet. I only hope your friends show up to help us along the way."

- - -

Show Spoiler Hide Spoiler

Anyway half your post was with a character that isn't involved right now so lmao I guess I can do that too.

"Imma rito, biiisssshhh," Guy gleefully slurred as his vision blurred. He was at best mildly aware of the fact that he was hundreds of feet up in the air.

The poor peahat he had drunkenly grabbed hold of was struggling to stay aloft, sticking to its apparent instincts of 'I'm invincible as long as I'm flying.' Still, with Guy being as dense as stone these days it was having an understandably difficult time remaining 'invincible.'

Neither particularly cared that they had a great vantage point over the sea of trees housing everyone else. Actually, maybe everyone else minus one. Guy was pretty sure he saw some rito fly away. Or maybe that was just a bird. Of course, Tent might notice a tiny black figure wriggling through the sky if he bothered to look up--but why would he ever do that.

"Oh, ah, hm," Tent bumbled as he tried to describe the area while walking through it. "A large swath of it is just a sea of trees, though they're large and loose enough that it's easy to walk between them. The strangest thing about this area is just these huge dirt walls and plateaus everywhere. Some people--maybe an ancient tribe--definitely used this area for something a long time ago. Just these awkward, clearly manmade dirt walls. I guess we'll have to navigate around those and the trees on the way to your friend. The ground has stone patchwork here and there but no buildings or--actually that looks like a locked door over there on one of the dirt walls. Maybe someone's still here...?"

His eyes darted through gaps in the trees, spotting a few beasties here and there. "Crawling on their bellies, huh? The place is certainly swarming but between that Hikkun and some Keese it seems like most of them are content not to bother us or--" He quickly spat out a flaming Deku Nut, popping a nearby Keese like it was a balloon. "--little more than insects to be swatted down."

Walking up to the door, Tent gave it a few solid knocks. "Let's see if anyone's home..."

After waiting a long enough while, he quickly realized, "Ah. There's... not even a door handle, just this huge keyhole. Maybe one of those dungeon doors. I don't suppose you've--" Hm. "--well I haven't seen a key anywhere."

- - -

"Bluh. I'm gonna--" Guy abruptly puked. Except he was a flaming monstrous obsidian freak, so his puke was basically just stomach acid that was somehow on fire. It spiraled down through the atmosphere in a sparkling arc that would have made the peahat sick if it could smell.

- - -

Out of nowhere, Tent heard a chime spring through the air. His head twisted in confusion, looking around--but not up. A small key dropped right on top of Meryem, as if somewhere not too far away some sort of gimmicky puzzle had been solved--perhaps a lit torch, perhaps a second keese dying in agonizing fire-puke. Life is full of mysteries.

"Bragi--was that his name? I'm not sure I follow but that was--that was quite impressive. That spell of ours. I think I may have seen that magic once before, though the details me." There was a soft smile in his voice, gently teasing, "I certainly wish I could avoid storms whenever I felt like it." Different types of magic always fascinated him, especially those so counterintuitive to his rather narrow forté.

Thinking on his forté, Tent turned back towards the door. His fingers ran over the texture, "I'm not very sure this is would, though if necessary I could break the door down I believe. Might have a better chance with force than fire, though I know both. Still, I'm not always keen to break--" He turned towards her.

"Ah." He paused, staring blankly at Meryem.

"Um." Tent blinked. Hesitating for words, he asked, "Is--is that a key on your hood?" Did she mistake it for a raindrop? But why would it have fallen out of nowhere? "It seems like it might fit this lock..."

- - -

"FUCK off with that lightning spell. I'm stick of your dumb magic bullshit." Guy murmured. "Fuck. Did I take mushrooms too? Must--musta. Fuck, Rika, you wouldn't believe the hallucination I'm having right now. I'm flying through the sky--storm kicked up but only for like five seconds. Wild. Anyway dude, let go of me, I don't want to shower with you. You look like a toddler, that's gross."

In his tripping-balls state, Guy let go of 'Rika'.

...

...

...

THUD.

"A-ah. It was, yes. A moldorm I believe." Tent was a bit flabbergasted. He couldn't imagine trying to fight monsters without seeing them. While most of the beasts so far had been fairly trifling, he feared what might happen with a wolfos or any real warrior. Hopefully this was just a forest, he thought, and not the sort of monster-infested dungeons to which he had grown overly accustomed. "A pair of bulbuls over there... not many ferocious monst--is that a moblin."

Tent squinted at the two blurry forms rounded the tree and entered his field of vision. "No, it's two moblins." His voice facepalmed. "And one has a bow, while the other--ohDin." His gauntlet blasted a javelin out of the air as it was hurled towards him. "s'got another. Handle these Bulbuls, yes? Good? Good."

Tent was already sprinting towards the pair of moblins, "We're just looking for our frie--" an arrow skidded across his barbut. "--alright sorry for busting into your house like this." As the scrub hurled himself into melee range, a spear came at him with a wide sweep--which Tent narrowly skidded under. He pounced into the moblin's pelvis with a headbutt, knocking the wind and baby-makers out of him as he loosed a groan.

The bow-wielding moblin clocked Tent's head so hard his helmet swung clean off, splaying him against the wall.

THUD, Guy's stone body bashed through the ceiling like a cannon ball and collapsed onto the bow-moblin like a ton of bricks. "I SAID---oh holy shit I think my bones are, wait I don't have any bones."

"Who are you to come just CRASHING into our house," screamed the spear-moblin as it recovered. For better or worse none of the intruders understood whatever language it was speaking, so it just sounded like a monster screaming furiously. Tent sent in explosion into his face, then immediately followed that up with a flying superman punch that clocked him out cold.

Tent was not going to acknowledge the possibility that he could have just broken into the home of a married couple and knocked them both unconscious for daring to stand their ground against intruders. He was not going to question how Guy was (a) here and (b) alive, but instead just touched him with a Sobriety spell.

"Fuck you," Guy--suddenly not at all high or drink or anything--spitefully spewed.

"Shut up." Tent's head throbbed with agony. After the headbutt and the moblin-sized fist to the cranium he had no time for Guy's bullshit. Still dazed, he stumbled around almost blindly while trying to recover his helmet. "P-...please go help the Gerudo woman. Over there. She can't see. She's fighting monsters."

Guy was already shoving a mushroom into his tubular face as he snarled his way towards whats-her-face. "She's fine. See, look. Even Buzzari could take care of a couple Bulbuls. I should be helping you out, you almost died. Again."

Hands in his pockets, Guy chewed on mushrooms. "Right so why are you helping this--?"

"Because," Tent surged, shoving his head back into his helmet. "Just because."

"Not because it's the right thing to do," Guy's tone was in jest, "Or Din's will or... oh do you have a crush on her?"

"You really are intolerable when you're this sober," Tent jeered. "I apologize for my mistake. Clearly you prefer to crash into subterranean caverns while drunk out of your mind."

Guy laughed softly, voice lowered in reality-doubting suspicion, "Seriously though how am I not dead. I don't remember how I landed."

Tent meanwhile scurried past Guy and back towards Meryam. As she asked the obvious question, Tent replied, "I... hope you're right. I didn't imagine finding this--uh--Pooky would turn into such an adventure." Tent's mind was plagued with doubts. As he maneuvered around the trees and towards the spot Meryem pointed, he really hoped this pet would be just one more room over. What was fetching a lost pet was quickly turning into something tackling an entire temple--which he was not mentally prepared to do at the outset of this.

"Oh. Yeah, there's a hidden door at the spot she pointed out." Guy announced nonchalantly while standing on the wall. The obsidian scrub's boots kicked off some dirt, revealing a dust-crusted door that looked like it had been sealed up and forgotten about for who knows how long.

"How did you--" Tent's fingers braced his brow. He was started to wonder if that 'friend' of his somehow managed to slip some mushrooms into him. So few things were making sense right now. "Alright but is there a ladder or something? Not all of us can walk on walls, you know."

...

"By the way," Tent sighed, "That other voice you're hearing is Guy. I'm not sure how he found us but I was--we are--work associates, I suppose. Guy, Meryem. Merygem, Guy."

"Charmed." Guy offered hollowly as he kicked a nearby switch, causing a stairway to fold out of the wall. "Alright, there's some stairs. Let's go."

It's too late for a post edit it's already my personal canon that Meryam didn't acknowledge Guy which is exactly what he deserves.

"Ah yes," Guy mused aloud, "I am indeed chopped liver, nice to meet you too." With a bemused shrug he entered the room after this 'Meryam' person with Tent along shortly thereafter. Tent had some doubts about his own presence in this venture while Guy was completely convinced he should have bailed immediately. Oh well.

"Oh. A vision." Guy remarked while using his eyes to bore a hole into Tent, who successfully ignored him completely.

"We did slay a keese or two already but--ah there I see it." Tent quickly slung out a Din's Burst to quickly roast one in a fiery explosion, while Guy launched a blast of Fire from his snout to fell the other. Both searched around for a third but there didn't seem to be another her.

Upon seeing the Armos move, Tent searched Guy with a word. "Bombs?"

"Ran out," Guy sighed.

Hoping for the best, Guy's hand whipped out a knife before slinging it straight towards the Armos' eye--or glowing face--or whatever that was. To his surprise the statue's blade deflected the knife as if swinging at a baseball, sending it careening across the room. Guy flinched. "Most Armos are... not that deft. It's... still hopping pretty slow, though."

"Alright. Well. Let me time this just right." Tent took a step forward, putting himself between the approaching Armos and his two allies. He began to concentrate intense magical energy into his fist, carefully watching the bouncing monster as it neared. While Guy's weapons might not have pierced the stone body of this statue, Tent's fist absolutely would. Summoning all his powerful magic into his hand, Tent let out a roar as his fist flew into the bouncing Armos with a single echoing strike of a Warlock Punch. The monster ceased movement, a second before exploding into shards tinged with flame and radiance.

"...Jeez a single burst probably would have done it, dude," Guy sneered.

"Oh! Hello Pooky." Tent gave an introduction for Guy as well. Finally seeing this fellow up close--as opposed to him flying away in the grip of a Rupee Wraith--Tent felt like he finally understood the somewhat bizarre relationship between the two. He certainly felt relieved in any case, only to be brought back to the edge by Meryem's next words. "Those kind people? The rito and zora?" In truth if they had exchanged names Tent had already forgotten them.

Guy perked up. If there was actually a roop wraith about then surely there would be something to swipe... Sensing Tent's doubts, he reassured him, "Yes Tent, those kind people. What better way to bring glory to Din than to exercise Her power to save those in need?" This was an extremely thin-veiled ploy to push the man into helping him amass roop.

But it worked. This was their friendship after all. Guy got roop while Tent got purpose. Between a chaotic evil and lawful good, the two weird scrubs shared a knowing look of understanding. The duo's doubts about this venture washed away, and both reassured each other--with just a glance--that they would both push through to the task's end.

"Yes, I believe we'll both be coming Meryem," Tent announced in a confident tone. "Let's find your friends."



Only moments later did the monstrous cyclopean statue smash through the door like it was tissue. Everyone reeled back. "No, it won't kill anyone," Tent declared in the most cliché manner possible.

Guy's stone fingers dug through his adventure pouch for a knife as he doubled back, before fishing out and slinging the blade towards the monster's huge eye. It blinked effortlessly, causing the blade to pathetically bounce off before it could strike the monster's obvious weak point. "Giant eye? Giant target." It's almost like he's been doing this for decades.

The eyegore took another mighty leap towards the most obvious aggressor, Guy, who narrowly Propelled out of the way. As its gigantic body hammered the ground, the entire room shook wildly and knocked Tent from his feet.

Even from his back, Tent focused a Din's Burst that flung towards the monster. As the monstrosity turned towards him, with luck and timing the explosion roared into flame right against the creature's eye. Tent scrambled back to his feet, while the monster's head spun and reeled from the incendiary spell.

"Stab its eye!" Guy glanced towards Pooky.

Tent would have spoken up in any other situation--something like 'oh I don't do this for payment'--but knew well enough that Guy was already shoveling the pile of rupees wholesale into his adventure pouch. Such is the price--quite literally--of the man's services, he supposed.

Meanwhile Tent had already hefted up the key and moved towards the door. It had yet to even occur to him that Meryem and Pooky might not know what a Boss Key looked like or what it was for. Just as an archer forgets not everyone knows how to notch an arrow.

"Alright," Tent announced, "Get ready."

The scrub needed to stand on his toes just to shove the arm-sized key into its ridiculously oversized keyhole, but did so without much struggle. Grabbing one edge of the key's face, he needed to use the entire weight of his body just to turn the darn thing 'round. But when it finally turned, a single 'click' echoed throughout the chamber. A moment later, the key shriveled into nothingness, and the gargantuan door whirled out of their way with a dramatic flourish.



With his Mirror Shield(TM) at the ready, Guy led the way into the chamber, with Tent and presumably Pooky not too far behind. Meryem was probably there too, but somehow Guy already seemed to forget about her in the wake of Pooky's glorious kill. The scrub's free hand whipped his sword from its scabbard.

The room was eerily silent, with nothing in sight but a few sparse trees inside of dirt walls. Sunlight shone from above. Guy had seen too many rooms like this before. His flaming eyes darted skyward--no dragons or birds up there. Glances shot at different trees--no, can't see any monkeys. Stepping forward, his eyes scanned the ground--no slimes, no living floors, he subdued a shudder remembering Facade. Was it...?

The tree in the room's center ruffled and sprang to life. Four brightly-colored flowers sprung out of it, each a 'head' on a long whip-like stalk that nyoomed from the center of the tree--was it even a tree? It looked more like a giant bulb now that the flowers sprung out.

Each "flower" clearly had a row of sharp, almost shark-like teeth gnashing furiously. Even with stone skin Guy did not want to get anywhere near one of those maws. But... one of the flowers... there was something bloody oozing from its teeth... a limb... red blood... a hylian's leg? No, it looked rougher... were those... feathers?

"Wretched monster," Tent scowled. He dared not guess what feathery biped the creature had so messily consumed, but the mere suggestion of this ugly tree actively digesting Meryem's friend filled him with a righteous fury even Din might be proud of. While he knew the wiser strategy was to sling bursts at this stationary tree from a distance--No.--he needed to pummel that plant, that thing back into the dirt from which it sprouted. Down further, if at all possible.

The scrub's fists were literally on fire as he shot towards the monster at furious speed, each pounding footstep ablaze with his scorching socks. As the teeth-gnashing heads slung towards him like cracking whips, Tent's fist blasted one back and he skirted around another one while closing the distance towards the tree's giant bulb. His warbling deku-voice bellowed a command of, "Distract the heads!"



Guy's head tilted, confused what the hell got up Tent's arse. But he relented. If the flaming fister was going to kill himself slaying a tree, Guy thought, that just meant less risk for himself. So he let the zealout take charge while following that command.

The obsidian scrub closed the gap between himself and the tree while spitting a blast of Fire at one of the heads--barely even charred, but enough to get its attention. Up close, he laid a swipe of his blade towards a second head--a miss, but gathered its gaze as well. Finally, he Propeled towards the third with a full-bodied tackling stab--which finally hit the mark. 'They never expect the propel', he thought with a smirk.

The fourth head he hoped wouldn't be too much for Pooky to distract. It was all he could manage to take a swipe at all three so quickly.

It was only a few seconds, but with Pooky and Guy covering him, Tent had all the time he needed to prepare his mightiest attack. Standing firmly at the base of the tree, Tent's fist shone with brilliant light as his voice rose in volume--noise that pulled one of the heads away from Guy to lunge at Tent. Tent's voice reached a roar as much as a deku scrub can roar anyway and blasting into the monster's bulbous core with all the might of a Warlock Punch, striking so hard the bulb bent inward and all the heads reeled back. The one that lunged towards Tent suddenly hurled up a huge pile of flesh onto the ground instead, not unlike a hylian who puked up his lunch after a stomach-punch.

With all the heads recoiling from the blow, Guy and presumably Pooky took the opportunity for an all-out offense against them. Guy's blade flashed as quick as his stone fingers would let it, slicing up one of the flowers to shreds as Pooky's trident presumably skewered another one or two into salad.

Tent grabbed hold of the one nearest him in a flaming grip, clutching its "neck" as his free hand shoved a Din's Burst straight into its mouth, slinging down its neck until it rooted into the monster's core with a fiery explosion.

After a guttural shriek, the tree--or whatever it was--ceased retaliating, and then ceased moving entirely. An uneasy calm washed across Tent, and Guy relented his assault.

Tent moved towards the pile of flesh that was puked up, his face distorted with unpleasant emotions he didn't want to describe. Was it Bragi? Was it even a rito? He didn't want to know. He didn't want to find out. The mightiest spell he'd ever seen couldn't bring back to life whatever this mass of digested flesh was now. He moved away from the pile, trying unsuccessfully to push it from his mind.

"Good... Good work, everyone." His words fell flat. "Meryem, I'm glad we found Pooky, but I--I don't think we'll find the other two in this forest. They may have already left for reasons we have yet to know. Maybe someone in the nearest town has seen them, or--" He remembered her visions and her crystal ball, "Or perhaps you know a fortune-teller who could divine something?"



"Uh," Guy grimaced. He needed to clean this weapon after this one. "Yeah. Let's uh... let's head back. With these rupees I can pay off that bar tab, anyway." He could pay it off, but, either way it was an excuse to leave this sea of trees. He had sea'n enough.



Glad I made it super fucking depressing at the end there.