We're Just Graverobbers (Squish, Guy)

Guy nodded, before taking the lead down the corridor. His nightvision had finally adjusted to the darkness in here, allowing him to see fairly easily even without the lantern lit behind him. So far, this trap was more filled with traps than treasures. Had their information been false? Guy was steadily beginning to trust Locke--at least insofar that he wasn't here just to betray him. Glancing behind him, Guy expected to see the lad in question--but instead Gustav had lodged himself between the two more capable fighters, leaving Locke to take up the rear. Gustav was writing down something or other... "Oh, that's right--good-thinking."

"Hm?" Gustav glanced up, quill still in hand, "Oh, yes, I figured making a map is the best way I can be of use to you two..." That's not to mention it could probably sell well to future tomb-raiders, or so Gustav secretly hoped. His eyes moved back to the parchment.

The other two were carefully examining every crevice, advancing steadily. There was no doubt this place was trapped. "I was secretly hoping it would be as easy as finding the burial room, then sneaking out," Guy admitted to no one in particular.

Progress down the surprisingly long hallway came steadily, even at is twisted and turned ever-deeper underground. Along the way, Guy was able to step over a tripwire while informing the others. Locke managed to expertly shoot down a pair of Keese that were waiting to ambush them from the ceiling. Finally, the trio came into a larger clearing.

Above them, the ceiling was double Locke's height. Guy alone could make out the rest of the fairly large room. Torches dotted the walls, and there seemed to be something like an unlit bonfire in the middle. He relayed this to the others in a hushed tone, adding, "It might benefit you to light it. I'm fine regardless, being able to see through darkness." There came the quiet, metallic sheen of his sword leaving his scabbard. There was a bit of hesitation in his voice. "I don't see any foes, but... I have a feeling something is waiting for us."

As Gustav prepared an arrow, he sighed slightly, "You are both far too tense. I really doubt there's--"

The massive pile of logs exploded into a huge bonfire almost instantly, as if it was soaked in petroleum. Gustav and Guy both instinctively flinched away from it. Before anyone could say anything more, a colossal, legless specter arose from the flames. A Poe? A Ghini? It was difficult to tell, but its stone-brown skin, buff arms, and beady eyes were immediately reminiscent of a Goron. Apparently they were in the right place after all.

The creature bellowed in a loud, cruel voice, as if mocking the three intrepid intruders for reasons it didn't care to explain. Without warning, its giant fist launched towards Guy with ferocious force. Even as Guy raised his shield against it at the last moment, the force was so great he was flung through the air. A grunt of pain escaped him, "F-fuck...!" His body barely managed to stumble back onto the ground, but his shoulder felt like it had just tried to tackle a meteor.

Gustav gawked at the aftermath of a single punch. His voice quaked as he admitted, "O-okay so maybe I was wrong." He spun up into the air with his Deku Leaf copter, taking careful aim while moving away from the monster. With such a massive target, even he couldn't miss--his struck the creature's arm, embedding halfway into it, but it barely even seemed to notice. No, the huge spectral Goron glared towards Locke instead.

Gustav desperately fired another arrow, embedding into the creature's shoulder seemingly without effect. Did this thing just not feel pain? Gustav called out uneasily, "M-maybe it doesn't feel pain, but takes damage anyway...?"

"H-how is that supposed to help?!" Guy pushed onto his feet, wobbling slightly. He plucked up his sword by its hilt, and glared uneasily at the spectral Goron--it returned his glare, approaching him once more. Even if it was grotesquely powerful, it didn't seem terrible fast at moving around, just like a normal Goron. His eyes quickly darted around the room, searching for something that could get them out of this. Aside from the bonfire--and normal Gorons were barely bothered by flames--there was nothing he could find. Damn, the Goron was almost on him.

Desperate, Guy launched backwards, shooting a Deku Nut at the ground before him, loosing a blinding flash right in the Goron's face. "Yes!" Guy called out, watching the beast stumble backward, groaning in an unreal voice as it covered its eyes. "I don't care what you do Locke, but do something!" He abruptly propelled his body upward against the stumbling beast, his sword sinking in several inches from the sheer force of his propulsion. He twisted the blade and fell backwards. Again the beast didn't seem to feel any pain, but nonetheless the wound was there--and it continued stumbling backwards, towards Locke, as another of Gustav's arrows sunk into it.

Guy stumbled onto his feet, bracing himself as the beastly, ghostly Goron roared furiously. As it did so, Guy suddenly realized his hand was empty--beyond all odds, his sword was still lodged in the monster's spectral skin. Not only that, but the creature didn't even seem to care. By the contrary, he abruptly tucked into a ball and spun wildly in place, before launching towards Guy and Locke like an iron ball from a cannon.

"F-FUCK!" Guy had little choice but to propel out of the way, and saw Locke dodge the attack as well. Gustav had chosen the smart route by staying airborne, thanks to that Deku Leaf of his. Guy had forgotten Gorons could roll like that. It was a really obnoxious--especially when the spinning ball is five times your size and practically invulnerable to attack. Guy landed without much grace, stumbling across the floor. He was too sore from the previous attacks to be smooth, now.

Before he could even catch his breath, the Goron was spinning wildly towards him once again. Hissing in annoyance, Guy didn't have time to consider his options. He was fresh out of propels--and the monster was barreling towards him so hard it was cracking the tiles underneath it. With all of his might, Guy leaped as high as he could--barely clearing the monstrous creature as it shot under him. He could feel his Roc's Scarf graze its stony hide.

By pure luck, Guy had been standing right against a wall. The beast smashed into it so hard that he tore clean through it, leaving a pile of rubble behind him. Guy stumbled awkwardly onto the ground, clutching his bruised stomach in pain. Propelling was easy, but his wound did not appreciate that jump. He turned around, unable to see past the pile of rubble...

There was an uncanny silence, as all three adventurers looked towards the hole. With hesitance in his voice, Gustav asked, "I-Is it over...?"

Guy grumbled quietly, "Bastard still has my sword..."

"Not gonna lie--I wish I had a potion right about now." Guy clenched the spot where a fist as large as a Korok slammed into him. He stifled a groan, adding, "But I'll be alright."

"I'm fine," Gustav smiled slightly. In his mind, it was perhaps best to not admit that he had been cowering away and flying out of the monster's way for almost the entire battle, launching only a few particularly safe shots throughout it. He Guy wouldn't have minded, considering he was literally getting paid by the man just to be here. Locke, though... to him, Gustav supposed he was just seen as a liability. He wasn't about to part with his precious rupees just to change the Hylian's mind, though.

"I could care less about killing something that's already dead," Guy admitted, "I'd rather find the treasure room first. I mean, that's why we're all here, isn't it?" With that said, he proceeded to stride through the cavernous holes torn through the walls. Hesitantly, he added, "This route will probably get us to that room more quickly, though... considering how much of a maze this place has been so far."

The first room was seemingly empty, holding only a barred door, a few unlit torches, and several large blocks. Guy supposed it was some kind of block-puzzle, which probably only would've served to get them further lost in this labyrinth. Ignoring it, he advised the others, "Let's press on. This looks like a waste of time."

The second room they had visited once before--a long corridor that led them deeper. Guy glanced over his shoulder, seeing Gustav was once again jostling down notes in his map--a good thing, too, as Guy otherwise suspected they would all be lost. As he paused to do so, however, he saw Locke advancing towards the third room. How far could this Goron have possibly rolled?

Keeping his blade at the ready, Guy followed the Hylian into the next chamber. The last thing he hoped to find was a pissed-off Goron ghost, unless it was dead... or more dead, anyway... but at this rate they weren't finding any treasure, either.

"Dindamnit!" Guy's body shot out of the way at what certainly felt like the last moment. Catching himself on the ground, he glanced towards Gustav, who was thankfully safe up in the air. Before Guy could even consider some kind of counterattack, the monstrous ghost was bowling right towards them all over again. He didn't even need to wonder whether or not he could survive a direct hit. He was really getting sick of this--he wasn't about to finally die to some idiot who thought tackling everything was really the best form of attack.

He didn't think this would work, but as the creature came rocketing towards them, he dropped a bomb right in its path, before launching himself out of the way. Miraculously, the bomb exploded with enough force to launch the beast upward, striking its head across the ceiling so hard it crumbled. The ghostly Goron seemed to lose balance, falling onto its back with an echoing thud, cracking the tile beneath it. Gustav took the opportunity to sink an arrow into the beast's face, making it wince and grunt in what seemed to be only slight pain. Guy himself launched forward, making eye contact with Locke as he charged forward, blade gripped tight. Two of them unleashing everything they had--that was the only bet Guy could count on.

He leaped high into the air, dramatically gripping his sword in both hands--"Let's finish this!"--before bringing it down towards the monster's exposed neck.


(...I'm genuinely sorry for, you know, being indescribably slow with my responses. )

Guy and Gustav both collapsed onto the ground as the spirit almost seemed to explode apart, sending them flying. An eerie silence remained. Everyone

Panting, Guy pushed onto his feet. He gathered mild rush of satisfaction he gathered from vanquishing their combined foe--only for Locke to ruin it by complaining like some kind of brat. He hissed a sigh, annoyance heavy in his voice, "Yeah, neither have I. I didn't guarantee you squat, so don't get all entitled on me. If we find something, you'll get your fair share."

Gustav tried to speak up, but Guy quickly cut him off. "The biggest asshole in this place--I'd hope--is now dead. If someone else beat us to the loot, I don't think he would still be here to guard anything..." He sneered at Locke, then at Gustav, "I'll have an easy time searching for what treasure is here on my own. It'll mean more loot for me in the end. If you want to join me, fine. If you want to leave, fine. Just make up your mind."

Gustav frowned slightly, "No need to get so dramatic. We've made it this far. I'm still game if you two are."

With his arms crossed, Guy broke eye contact with the others, "Yeah... well..." Glancing around their surroundings, he suddenly realized he had lost track of what path they had taken. Every direction looked the same. His face twisted slightly. Getting treasure was good and all, but he was suddenly concerned whether or not they'd be able to find their way out--with loot or without it.

"That's good to hear, Locke," Gustav nodded. It seemed obvious he was trying to keep a positive air, as if trying to dispel a potential argument.

Guy simply pressed his fingers to his temple, glancing away from the others. It was good Locke was still determined, he supposed, and that Gustav was in his usual profitable spirits. Still, he couldn't help but feel frustrated. Despite his own assertions, he realized feared Locke might be right--that all this hassle might be for a bogus rumor, or that there was treasure only for someone else to beat them to it. It would be far from the first time something like this happened to him.

If that wasn't all, he was suddenly aware that he was lost--and that Gustav didn't have time to draw on that map of his while being chased around by a titanic goron ghost. They didn't even have a kokiri tagging along--those brats never got lost, even in a twisting corridor like this one.

Just as Guy let out a defeated sigh, Locke's mutter came forth. The Deku's head darted towards the door in question, though of course he couldn't see it. 'Twas beacon of hope--faint as it may be--and something Guy felt he needed. He pushed his hair back and raised his head.

Gustav spoke up first, however, "Is that... a Lens of Truth? I've never seen one put in a Hawkeye before--clever."

"Good eye, Locke," Guy gave a slight grin, trying to maintain the good vibes now just beginning to well up within him. He glanced back to Gustav, who was smart enough to have a bow at the ready. Guy then pulled out his own blade, and took a ready position behind Locke. "You're the only one who can see the door, lad. Needless to say, we've got your back. Let's hope our goal is in sight..."

Gustav's eyes widened in surprise; before them Locke appeared to have pushed a door open through solid stone. After the two bandits pushed forward, Gustav himself let out a nervous gulp, then pressed inward as well.

The room was barely lit, but Guy could tell it was vacant. His fighting pose dropped, instead sneering with shoulders slumped. "This might be it... The last room. It certainly feels that way... an empty climax to a vast waste of time and effort." Guy let out a deep sigh, and slowly began to sheathe his blade.

"...Why would a Goron be holding pumpkins?" From high in the air, the coptering Gustav peered down at the engraved stone. No one seemed interested in his question, however.

There came a cry from Locke; both Deku Scrubs whisked to see him--then a slam of iron bars, whisking all heads towards it. Trapped. Before Guy could even begin to vent his frustration, a dim pale glow began to rise from the room's center. An overwhelming sense of unease penetrated the air--something both Guy and Gustav felt on a disturbingly deep level.

The glowing phenomenon began to take shape, until it took the form of a transparent Goron--"F-fuck, is that thing really still alive?!"

"No, this one's different," Gustav answered. Indeed, this one seemed smaller, and carried itself with an undeniable sense of regalia. Even its head was crested with what seemed to be a crown, crafted from amber or gold. Yet, inexplicable it was holding a--"Really, why a pumpkin?"

Guy drew his sword, watching in confusion as the specter lowered the vegetable onto its head--no, not simply wearing it, but the pumpkin indeed seemed to become his head. Was this supposed to be some sort of crown? Why would a king turn his head into a plant? Before Guy could even begin to make sense of it, he saw a ghastly face carve and spread across the pumpkin's surface... crimson and black fluids oozing out of its eye sockets, as if to be tears.

Gustav shuddered. "Do I... do I shoot it?"

As one final part of its transformation, the monstrosity's hands began to glow a bright yellow--before bursting into bright, searing, spectral flames. Out of nowhere, it launched a fireball towards the intruders. Guy grunted as he desperately doubled back, barely managing to block the lightning-fast projectile with his shield.

"Yes!!" Guy gasped out, "Shoot it, damnit!"

"How should I know?!" A bewildered-yet-angered glance shot back to Locke and Gustav, both of whom were backing away in preparation to launch arrows. Guy hissed in slight annoyance. He had seen this coming, but still wasn't exactly found of being the meatshield. He wasn't even made of dindamn meat!

Scurrying towards the mysterious pumpkin-headed monstrosity, Guy stood stalward behind his mirrored shield. The hilt of his blade was gripped tightly in his hand. Though he had found specters and vegetables in the past, never had two fused into such a nightmarish visage. The monster towered over him, easily three or four meters on tall. That black-pitted glare put him on edge--made him cautious--and drove him to wait for the creature to make the first move. It was a split-second decision, but Guy quickly learned it was a mistake.

Gigantic obsidian claws formed instantly, hovering over spectral hands. Before Guy could even react to the claws, the pumpkin-face's 'jaw' broke open--pumpkin gush spilling forth from a vomiting fanged visage. It reeked of rotting vegetables, such much so that Guy visibly flinched. From the gaping mouth of the monster, fireball after fireball launched downward into Guy's waiting shield--absorbed instantly, causing his magical Mirror Shield to glow a bright red. Before the volley even finished--before Guy could even react--the obsidian claws launched downwards, clutching around Guy's entire body and hurling him high into the air. His arms were pinned to his sides by the massive claws. The shield's glow faded.

A warbling scream of agony exploded from Guy's mouth as the talons audibly CRUNCHED his body. The monster brought him slowly, callously, face-first to its own gaping pumpkin-jaw. Guy's eyes bulged in grotesque horror at what he beheld with in. His legs were audibly kicking and writhing. He feared what he would find within--but that fear was soon replaced by an even greater one. A glowing red orb of fire formed in the monster's gullet, aimed right into Guy's gaping Deku-snout. Being burned alive from the inside, uncontrollably, unable to even so much as close his lips. It was any Deku's worst nighrmare.

"No, no, nonono!!" Guy's entire body shook and quivered wildly, before he summoned enough strength to propel backwards. The gripping talons audibly and visibly peeled layers off of Guy's hide as he shot out of the monster's grip. He crashed across the ground awkwardly, groaning and panting in a mixture of agony and fear. "Sh-shoot it already!!"

The monster was wide open. Gustav rapidly let loose an arrow, albeit from hands visibly quivering with fear. As he struggled to notch another arrow, Gustav glancing towards Locke. Needless to say, both Deku Scrubs were hoping the best marksman here was going to tear into that nightmare with everything he had.