Get Outta My Swamp

"Now Spaghet," A croaky voice rang out through the swamp to speak to the moblin that was far away from the source. "Now that you've finished sucki--"

"Wiki, Wiki please," Spaghet sighed as he crawled his way across the swamp's walls, the obnoxious set of horns the Deku forced him to carry giving him a bit of difficulty. He didn't want to get his clothes wet, but he had managed to be convinced to carry these things. He couldn't even play them. Wiki hopped effortlessly across the water. "You're lucky that your father likes me enough to lend me his horns. Now shut up so we can find a Mad Scrub to play th--"

Spaghet sniffed the air and quickly skittered towards a tunnel, when Wiki reached the entrance he urgently shushed her. "I smell... I smell something..." He ... couldn't quite put his finger on it. Strange. Wiki of course ignored his advice, running through the tunnel.

"It's just another lost Hylian in the swamp, Spaghet," Wiki said as she approached Leskar, who she could only guess was what she had mentioned. "Don't shit yourself."

Spaghet quickly ran in towards the pair, bowing profusely.

"I-I'm so sorry for my c-clie--"

"Friend"

"-- Client, s-she speaks without thinking s-sometimes."

The moblin adjusted his glasses and then the horns he was carrying. Wiki looked furious.

"Hey, HEY." Wiki began. Spaghets attempt to shush her were futile. "I don't let scummy weird scabby orbby floating Hylian men treat me li---"

"W-Wiki" Spaghet finally interupted. "Please ignore her sir she...she doesn't know what she's sa--"

"I do know what I'm saying!"

"WIKI."

Finally she was silenced. But not for long of course, knowing Wiki. Wiki thought he was a Hylian. Spaghet however did not. He knew what Hylians smelt like, and this man wasn't one. It just wasn't worth it to try to convince Wiki of something like that right now. Especially when he had damage control to do considering her rudeness.

"Y-yes, actually. I know quite a lot about the temple," Spaghet said, adjusting his glasses. "I... Ah, my client and I were on our way there now."

"Whoa, whoa, haha, no, wait, hold up there buddy," Wiki began. Spaghet once again tried to shush her, but she continued regardless. "I don't just let guys follow me around to a sacred Deku temple."

"... Wiki..." Spaghet replied, adjusting his glasses "We... we both know you don't care about anything your people worship."

"Who cares. It's about principles," Wiki said, putting her hands on her hips and sarcastically imitating the unknown man. "'I will follow you for now. I have business there.'" she crossed her arms. "Who even says shit like that and expects someone to think they're worth hanging around with?" She carefully watched the man's movements, ready to jump out of the way in case he decided to swipe at her. She was being a jerk and enjoying it, but pushing buttons was never without its consequences.

Spaghet sighed and scratched at his nose. It was a bit odd that the man hadn't introduced himself. Or asked for their names. And had just decided to tag along. With a moblin in a wig and an obviously deranged Deku. Well, at least he wasn't being attacked.

"... Ignore my companion, sir," Spaghet said with a tinge of annoyance. "... She's more bark than bite." - half true - "You're welcome to come with us. I have no issue with it."

Spaghet pursed his lips. Yet again ignored by what was someone claiming to be a Great Fairy. But Spaghet could believe the man's claim. He thought he recognized some sort of oddity in his scent. Wiki probably could believe it too, since.. well, why not? But right now disagreeing with this man and being an obstinate little prick seemed like the better idea. The Deku made a rude noise before laughing.

"Oh wow, alright, 'Great Fairy of Justice'," Wiki said while making air quotes. "Your duties bring you to Woodfall. Congratulations. You're looking at it." She triumphantly showcased the nothingness before her. "There you go buddy."

Spaghet sat down on a nearby log, setting down Wiki father's set of horns before putting his hand to his cheek. He really hoped that Wiki didn't piss off this man enough to get killed. Her father would be so angry at Spaghet.

"You know tha--" he tried to speak, but was interrupted.

"-- The only reason why I let Spaghetti come here is because he's a good pack-mule. But this place is some sacred bullshit that I don't really care about. Deku Scrubs only screw around with other monsters, right? If I needed to respect you I'm certain you would have proved it by now." Wiki crossed her arms. "All I've seen is some cheap tricks, gross scabs, and disgusting looking hair. Besides, you've been ignoring my friend. The heck man. You have something against moblins or something?"

The moblin sighed. He rather liked the man's mane. He... also didn't really know why Wiki was sticking up for him all of a sudden, but it was probably just to get a rise out of the man instead of her actually being a good person for once. A pity.

"... I'm not really offended, Wiki. I'd rather just get an errand out of the way, Sir, and if you have ... a duty... then that's fine, I suppose. But please, if you decide to come along, ignore her," Spaghet said with a sigh. "If you do, she'll probably just tire herself out eventually."

Wiki screeched something incoherent at him before running over to him. She jumped onto his lap and began shaking him.

"Y-YOU'RE GONNA LET THIS GUY PUSH YOU AROUND?!" She screamed "W-WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU?!" She chose to ignore the hypocrisy in her statement. She grabbed the horns from the ground, situating them on her body before walking off, fuming mad. Spaghet put his hands to his cheek again after standing up. He looked up at the man who towered over him.

"... S-She doesn't even know how to play them," Spaghet said, tapping his claws together. "N-Neither of us do." He looked up at the man, and then down at the ground again. "A-Ah u-uhm, t-the temple, you n-need to uhm, play a song to access it. W-We were... j-just going to try to convince another scrub to play it for us."

Spaghet looked sheepishly down at the ground as he followed beside the man. He absolutely believed that Wiki's plan was to yell at another scrub until it played for them. Spaghet would have just asked nicely... but knowing scrubs, that wouldn't have worked either.

"... When you say something.. what exactly do you mean by that, Sir?" He asked. He didn't know Woodfall very well, but through the mist he could smell Wiki. Although he instinctually followed her scent, the swamp wasn't very difficult to navigate and he probably didn't even need to. Spaghet's ears picked up when he heard Wiki's shouts coming from a distant platform. He counted to three in his head... and immediately after smelt charred wood on the air. A sigh escaped him and he looked back to the man traveling along with him.

"... I will ask you kindly for your help," Spaghet said, looking nervously towards the source of the smell. "My companion... will not even admit she needs it." He looked down at the ground again. "A-Ah, where are my manners, my name is Spaghet Yettin. I-It's nice to meet you, Sir." He didn't expect a name in return - he never did - but offered all the same. He calmed mildly when he stopped smelling the familiar scent of burning wood-flesh - Wiki probably pushing the body into the swamp - but he was certain that if he didn't find his companion soon he'd be smelling it again shortly.

"... S-So, Ah, S-Sir, do you know how to play the h-horns?"

Spaghet nodded. He supposed it was an honorable enough quest. The moblin however wasn't really concerned with honorable quests. Spaghet was more interested in winning rupees in a court room or reading a book alone in his home. He could save the noble quests for men who seemed interested in them. Spaghet blinked as the man continued. If most would know the man by his title, then why hadn't he had spoken it? "... err.. ah... hmm..." Spaghet was suddenly quite concerned, which wasn't unusual for the moblin. Spaghet began to rub his lips together. Calm? Wiki? Absolutely not. That left the second option.

"I-I'm sure I could ... quiet her, momentarily. B-But I ..." Spaghet spoke, stopping for a moment while he attempted to think about the correct phrasing of his next sentence. "... I would be.. ah.. quite impressed if you could persuade one.. ah.. hmm.. S-Scrubs are difficult creatures to convince. E-Especially when it c-comes to ... well..." Spaghet looked the man over again. ".. outsiders." Spaghet pursed his lips. He had his doubts on whether or not this man could convince a Deku Scrub to let him into a sacred temple. Spaghet knew that he personally couldn't. But then again, Spaghet wasn't very good at convincing people outside of a court room.

"... B-But y-you seem like the.. influential type." -- he was seriously curious about the man's title now, but he wasn't going to be rude and ask for it -- "I... I'm sure we'll find a way," Spaghet said with a slight smile before continuing on. He sniffed the air again, looking for his companion. When he got her scent, he continued to follow, however, it's not like he could have gotten lost at this point anyways, it seemed like a straight shot to the temple. Winding platforms to a bigger platform, probably where their journey would end once the group couldn't convince another scrub to let them in. Spaghet gulped. He... didn't appreciate these negative thoughts of the future.

"... W-We should ... p-probably try to find someone to help us before we find Wiki." Spaghet said. "It seems ... wise." He sniffed the air again. He was certain that Wiki was probably skipping flowers that seemed dormant. She was too hot headed and too angry to check systematically for any sleeping Scrubs.

Great fairy of what? Spaghet looked a little confused as the man said it, but nodded regardless. He wasn't going to be rude... but he really had no idea what the man was saying. He had never heard of that title before. Maybe he could ask Wiki about it later. She was always into weird history. But even then there were plenty of facts she didn't know or lied about knowing just to try to impress him. He learned long ago to fact check everything Wiki said.

The moblin followed the man, looking at Wiki's destruction. What a horrible creature she was. Finally, the pair approached a flower that wasn't destroyed. Spaghet hung back, watching to see what the man would do. He said that they would obey him - did he have some sort of mind control power?

The Deku was quick to react - a quick nut spit into Leskar's face. Spaghet's eye twitched and his mouth fell agape. He knew that would happen. The creature in the fairy's hand wiggled its feet around, desperate to be free. Spaghet began to solemnly shake his head. He didn't have much hope for this one, but maybe the man was more persuasive than the moblin gave him credit for? But for now, it really didn't seem like he had much in the way of social skills.

"... S-Sir I... Hmhmmm..." Spaghet said, beginning to doubt this man had any sort of powers he described.

The moblin watched the scene in silence. He realized how often he witnessed acts of violence that he never brought up again. He nervously looked at the ground before following Leskar silently. The moblin cleared his throat as they approached the next flower. He inhaled sharply, taking stock of the situation. The man was decent at telling what others were feeling by the way they were smelling.. and he certainly sensed that he was going to speak before this angry man did, that was for sure.

"A-Ah, hello," Spaghet said quickly, "We want to get into the temple. What we can do for your assistance?" He began to sweat. The moblin tried to be short and to the point when dealing with Deku Scrubs. It tended to work out the most in his favor when he was. Spaghet thought ahead and he tried not to show all of his cards right away, another thing he learned while dealing with scrubs. He wasn't sure what he could offer outside of rupees, and frankly if the scrub was interested in them they would probably ask for them and in that case he could begin to barter price.

The Deku Scrub poked its head out of the flower before diving back in. Spaghet frowned before scratching his chin. He looked up at Leskar before looking back down at the Flower. The moblin was at a loss, the scrub seemed more meek than the usual Dekus he met. He sighed and crouched. Life wasn't without risk and reward. He sniffed the air again.

"... Ma'am..." Spaghet said, guessing the scrub's gender from the way that they smelt. He was... usually right. Usually. "Please.. I .." the moblin looked at Leskar, unwilling to pledge the man to his next sentence. "... desperately need your help. What can I do to earn it?"

Spaghet sighed. Of course. He nodded and looked at Leskar as he darted away. The moblin began to shake slightly. He knew how well Wiki dealt with being told to stop.

Wiki whipped around. Augh, this idiot again.

"First of all, I wasn't setting everything on fire. If everything was on fire, I would be dead," Wiki scoffed. She rolled her eyes dramatically. She straightened her back, realizing she was hunched slightly as she was looking at the remains of the non compliant scrub who was now a non compliant pile of ashes. "Whatever. I'll stop, but see? Probably wouldn't have gotten her to agree to help if I wasn't here." Wiki stretched. "Yeah, yeah, no need to thank me."

Wiki crossed her arms and looked back at Leskar. She looked him over again. He was... well, strange. He was obviously capable of flight but she wasn't sure if she really bought his Great Fairy claim. Part of her really wanted to poke the hornets nest. But before she made a decision on whether or not to listen to that part of her mind she was going to make her way back to Spaghet first, following her trail of destruction.

"So uh, what was it, Great Fairy of uh, Justice?" Wiki began to speak to Leskar again as she approached just within earshot of her moblin companion. "You got a name or a way of introduction that doesn't rely on claims you haven't been able to live up to yet?" Had this guy given her his name? Who knew. If he had it wasn't important enough for her to remember.

"... at least your name is shorter than your ego," Wiki yawned. She threw the horns onto the ground, figuring out quickly that they had found an unwitting scrub to do their dirty work. Spaghet flinched as the horns tumbled. They were durable, sure, but the way Wiki always treated things that were her fathers ...

The scrub quickly scrambled to grab the horns. The other scrub across from her tapped her finger against her cloak. When the other scrub didn't immediately begin to walk towards the proper platform, Wiki quickly approached her. The scrub froze and her shaking increased. Spaghet was too quick to stop the Deku from initiating physical contact, but alas, Wiki pushed the scrub towards the proper place.

"Get a move on!" she barked. "I have no time for squeamish run of the mill scrubs."

"Wiki..." Spaghet mumbled. He cleared his throat. "I apologize for my companion."

"Stop apologizing!"

The group shuffled along quickly to follow the new pace of both Wiki and the scrub. It was clear that no one really wanted to be together for very long. Spaghet scratched at the back of his head as he watched the small scrub position herself and begin to play. Wiki sat down beside her, close, too close. Both Spaghet and the small scrub shook.