Frozen Poultry on Aisle 2 [Nameless and Genzo]

Eve placed a number of things on the counter, which was rapidly losing free space. Lifting armfuls of rupees onto the countertop drastically reduced the size and girth of her bag. Though it looked like a number of the manager's coupons would also leave her with a small pile to shovel back into the bag. . .

Noticing the growing pile of clearly-used and messed up makeup, Eve decided to mention something about it. Though now the counter was so cluttered it was hard to understand what was happening. Then, there was the gaze of the crowd behind them. Eve rolled her eyes, it was hardly anything the others should be bothered by considering how horribly packed the crowd was hours earlier. Though most of the increasingly grumpy customers behind them didn't know that or weren't here when the crowd was that big.

"These 'r all used and touched! Can I getta . . . uh. . . discount on them? Pretty please?" Eve grumbled, raising her used objects into view.

The cashier looked like he was seconds from tears. All of these customers back-to-back for hours and now he had to be asked to math out a fair bargain on something he had nothing to do with. He let out a rough deep breath and got to pinching rupees off of all of their wares. The line could wait and maybe, the cashier thought, some people in the line would get discouraged and back off. He hoped so at least.

"I'd walk right out but my shift is almost over at this point." the cashier replied, sighing.

Eve happily moved her hoard back into her bag. However, the amount of discounts and coupons they had racked up had resulted in them paying negative money. This in part with the neat little hat on Eve's head and she was feeling pretty alright all of a sudden. She did need a doctor or a surgeon or something. But otherwise she was feeling great!

In a desperate bid to keep Ruairi inside the store, Eve doubled back for a second and went to talk to him. It was tough to keep a famous person from going back to their work on being famous, after all. She decided she had to really convince him.

"Roory please we need to go get tea. In the backrooms! Remember? Ice cubes." she said, draping another creepy doll on her arm. Then she immediately turned back to what she was doing. It was kind of like killing two birds with one stone, because the weird doll was a lot of help dragging the bag of money and goods. It certainly didn't have a high lift tolerance by any means but it helped being able to shove and push like that.

In stride with her movements, she worked her way back into the store. How could she forget about the ice situation? Unforgivable. However it was possible her mention of getting Ruairi tea was in direct reference to going back into the staffroom and figuring out the "ice situation." And particularly when she said "buy" she actually meant "brew him some from the staff room stock of free tea." And when she said "free tea" she actually meant "tea that is specifically for the staff and is technically being stolen if someone else takes it." And when she "said" all of this it was really an annoying meta-narrative taking place entirely inside her head. Which was very likely because she remained rather quiet on her way back to the end of the store.

"Like moths to a flame." she quoted, unaware that she was talking about herself.

"You paid twenty rupees for that steak?! If you wait until midnight after the sell-by date, they go for ten!" a lady interrupted, loudly talking to some stranger.

Eve wouldn't have just "bought" a steak. But she wasn't the kind of person who tried to hoard large amounts of valuable items in the process of shoplifting either. Only the small stuff. Thinking about it, she had eaten more steaks in her life made out of monsters than actual steaks from beef. Anticipating something weird to happen, Eve stepped carefully into the backroom door.

Keeping Ruari's time in mind, the two hurried into the back. The surroundings were the same, although workers were off cleaning up. That, and the zombies were most likely trying to figure out how to fix the huge hole in the floor. Then, there was the task at hand as the two placed themselves squarely into the breakroom.

"I remember a guy saying he needed ice it sounds like something will happen if we bug him about it." Eve bantered, clearly on something nobody could understand. "Well, not true I actually wannae bother the angry guy."

Eve's nonsense had reached a whole new level, expecting some kind of payoff for asking about them about "needing ice." That was accompanied by some other additional thing she was planning to bug them about. She also. . . needed Ruairi here with her to do so? Must have been important.

"There he is the floor clerk." Eve whispered to Ruairi, somehow with enough effort to still project spittle.

"What are you doing in here?!!" yelled the annoyed floor manager, not to be confused with the handsy manager from downstairs. "You all did that damage back there! Didn't you?!"

"Holdon arseface we have some questions!" Eve demanded rudely of this other manager. "First off your unsafe store got me beaten up and cut all over! I want attention to my hurties or else I will hire Spaghet to sue you up to your neck!"

"S-Spaghet?!!" the manager had to double take. "Look I don't know any lawyers so you'll have to be more specific than that! But you got a deal missy I can get you some first aid at least! We're not doctors you know? It really looks like you beat yourself up after breaking into our basement! I shouldn't even be helping you."

Forgetting about them needing ice, Eve let the manager bring her some kind of salve. Although it looked like she might need stitches so this was probably the wrong tree to be barking up. She then looked up at Ruairi expecting him to know what she was up to. Her cocky smile made it uncomfortable. What the hell did they need ice for?

Jumping to her feet, Eve remembered the ice. She was also not comfortable with how irritated Ruairi looked! Searching her mind quickly, Eve tried to remember "the plan." Luckily for the trio in the staff room, what her beautiful mind was thinking would, at the very least be kind of entertaining. That, and she was the only one who was worryingly injured in this room. She hoped that fact would at least mean these guys had more patience than her in the moment. Not that she was in a hurry to leave? It seemed?

"Right-O!" Eve yapped. "Heard you needed your ice box. . . filled with ice! I am someone who is in the business of acquisitions and my associate can help! I'm inviting my Rito friend here to help! If he wants to though, and we'll both be asking for rest before the trip. Oh right, the demands. My own um, Lawyer, confidant, liaison, and ambassador can help."

Having mentioned a lawyer before, they could only imagine she was going to try to contact this Spaghet person. But no. Eve had a. . . person with all these jobs? She could make them appear. . . right now? Was she going to call them? The answer was no, as she reflexively weaved her arms and spoke an odd language and formed an arcane sigil with her hands. Then she stopped, kneeled down, and pulled the Book of Mudora out of her bag. Gods that thing was massive. She flipped through it and whispered some lines as she tried to remember some magic phrase. Next, she re-performed the dance-like spell and this time with different words. Then, something happened. She appeared to be summoning that dummy from the beach again! Extra Eve? The one wearing a bunch of goofy swimming accessories. What did she need that thing for?

Then, in a flash of magical energy, some weird guy appeared.

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"This is Yves my business associate. He'll be overseeing our legal matters as I explain our conditions to ye." Eve explained, pointing to the weird figure in the room.

The lifeless figure in a suit held out his hand, as if to shake on something. Eve used her own arm to shove the hand back down. It wasn't time yet, obviously! What stood there appeared to, logically speaking from what Ruairi remembered how Eve's magic worked, just be herself in a suit and a hat. It very convincingly looked like someone else though! It kind of helped that this "Yves" was dressed as a boy. It was eerily convincing, even. Probably because the kid was running around in frills all the time. The odd fairy boy, being a product of Transform Ego, also bothersomely had nothing to say and seemed to harbor no personality.

"You can't just summon a lawyer and expect me to kneel to 'demands.' Yes I wanted to fill the ice box but I wasn't going to hire a bunch of lowlifes who vandalized my store to do it for pay! Are you mad?!" the floor clerk complained, his voice raising as he spoke.

"With my associate's help, we can ask for anything!" the delusional girl celebrated. "Now tell me where to deliver the ice from. I would like detailed instructions on our future endeavor. Oh and I'd like to pour some hot tea for my Rito friend. Kind of promised him the poor lad."

"Or what, this mute leprechaun is going to sue me? Do you think I'm that dumb?" the manager interrupted.

"Well no but yes. He's very mysterious just look at how his hat brim overshadows his eyes." the girl included, pouring a real nice cup of tea for the Rito.

"Seriously, what do you want? A gift card?" the manager huffed.

"If Yves says so, yeah I'll take one! What do you think comrade?" Eve replied, asking the magic dummy for his opinion.

The creepy figure nodded in agreement. He held out his hand once again to the floor manager. This was her game, huh? To make the suited figure reply with gestures, it seemed. It was unusually clever for this girl to come up with. Yves was. . . kind of cool actually. It was refreshing to see a quiet little guy in a suit in stark comparison to the chaotic and overbearing girl shouting nonsense next to him.

"Well I was going to tell you where to find the ice for our supply. You just want a gift card?! You'll leave me alone right?" the man huffed, quickly losing his temper.

"No. We want to bring the ice to the store. I hate to say it but we kind of owe you after breaking the floor. That's. . . the real reason I've been so persistent. It makes me feel kind of guilty with all the buildings I've accidentally set on fire in the past. . . so I just remembered you yelling about ice and I wanted to make it better somehow." the girl admitted, looking sheepish all of a sudden.

Yves bowed, raised his hand straight up, and then shook his head back and forth awkwardly.

"Oh and the gift card give us one of those. I wannae stock up on pasta." Eve added, weirdly interpreting the boyish character's movements although it was certainly a reflection of what she was mentally telling it to do.

"Okay. One mission, then I never want to see you three again. The ice is from. . ." the manager began, then trailing off in silence for some reason. "Up on Snowhead, in the temple. It's being guarded by a bunch of grumpy wizards."

He had clearly made up that entire scenario on the spot to fuck with them. They could literally just get ice from the mountain. But Eve and Yves looked incredibly into the idea and their faces lit up with glee. Yves even went back in for a handshake. What was that boy scheming? What dreams of mechanical and assured violence lived in that little head? It was a mystery.

"Deal's a deal! No take-backs." Eve spat at the employee, Yves's hand yanking up and down with the grown man's arm.

With the sudden movement and contact, the illusory clone started to fade. An evil fire went up the boy's body as he faded into a green puff of smoke. The man's eyes widened in terror, wondering what he had just done. Now he owed them a gift card. Bollocks.

Watching Ruairi closely, and he now had his tea, Eve's face curled up. She had only managed to make her somewhat-new friend more frustrated. And less wizardly joyful as he usually was. Was this unlike him? Or maybe she had finally crossed a line too far with him. Even if she was some sort of depraved sociopath(?) the very least she could do was just. . . give Ruairi the gift card. And half the loot if they actually went to the mountain. She was especially disappointed though, that Ruairi didn't like the little dapper version of herself she had painstakingly created with expensive clothes and her full-sized mirror. Her precious lawyer fantasy was totally shattered!

"I'm sorry mister roo-- Ruairi." she choked on her words. Though, she pronounced his name right for once, probably out of guilt.

She honestly hadn't fucked up this badly in front of a friend. . . for quite some time! She even remembered that time a blind Gerudo slapped her in the face for turning her hands into fire and making her eyes into arms. . . best not mention that. She was quickly getting off topic in her head.

"Well, I got us a new adventure. That character who appeared can't really make deals though, we could still go on a different one instead. I also got you the tea, and this incredible gift card!" she explained, handing him his well-earned prize.

It was getting annoying with her always causing huge amounts of trouble and then thinking saying sorry and giving a bunch of crap away would fix it. Though she was clearly. . . pretty dumb, and kind of weirdly courageous? It was helpful to know she had remorse for the crazy shit she was constantly doing. But it was worth a pretty sizable rest for everyone involved. Unbeknownst to the three sulking in the break room, they had also managed to poke a neat little hole in the pocket of an evil little demon. Pooky would check his shares this week, only to discover a mysterious dip. Now that was justice!

"An' then, think of what a brilliant wizard you'll be after defeating an evil cave wizard! An' all th' loot you'll be gettin'." she continued, hoping to butter him up before his awkward trip back to his carriage and bed.

"I worked so hard on that. . ." she whispered, still salty about nobody liking her boy-sona. Maybe she would turn that "outfit" into some kind of "weapon" one day. Dumb as she was, she was next-level in coming up with bizarre loopholes for things.

"We can really get goin' now. I gotta go to eh'' hospital. . ." she slurred, getting ready to evacuate the building she just almost destroyed. "Sorry again . . . about that. I don't really have a friend as good or as nice as you. 'S not right of me to take that for granted."

"Maybe. . . this wasn't the right place to ask for an adventure." Eve admitted, looking a bit off of her usual mania. "I also am not going to look like a sad sack to guilt you into going." which Eve cracked a smile and chuckled suddenly "It's hard to not look like one with all these bandages obviously! I'm poisonous on the inside but that doesn't mean I would throw you to the wayside like that! You've been with me through so many things. . . I can't even imagine what thing to specify there."

The little criminal actually wondered whether to really just give him all the loot. Ruairi didn't want the gift cards either. Maybe she would just, eat a bunch of pasta and use that energy to find the loot. This logic was flawless in her head. She was great at stumbling upon glittering riches, a passive aspect of her being that ruled every action she took. This whole scenario of Ruairi being annoyed at her brought into question another of those aspects though. Her inability to stop being a little bitch to everyone, learning her lesson at the end of every adventure but. . . going to bed at home and waking up a little bitch again. This might have been a natural tendency of hers or some side effect of needing a bunch of poison to get to sleep, her advanced liver only processing sedatives through literally consuming deadly poison. Or maybe her tendency to do that was also some kind of metaphor.

This all aside, she was thinking about her Rito friend. The unequivocal lord of the burning stick. Her incessant appearances in his life taught her a number of things about him. His talents for performing, his life in the wagon with that dear Daffodil pulling it. Interestingly, also his penchant for being the life of a party. She knew without a shadow of a doubt he spent a lot of time hanging out with other people. This was not a consequence of her own stalking though, that had only just led her to combining kinstones that one time. It was one lesson she did learn -and for good,- that no good would come from her following him around. That apparently didn't stop them from bumping into each other!

"I also understand you have stuff to do! We didn't come shopping here just to fall into a horrible nightmare well, after all! But I also have to get going! We'll get you that loot since you're a powerful wizard, of course." Eve continued, expressing her shared desire to get out of this horrible store.

Though she wasn't going to say bye and just disappear without letting Ruairi get the final say in, she did preemptively get her doll to start shoving her bag. . . again. Likely it would take all night and all day to square away her baggage and get to some kind of doctor.

Continuing pushing her bag, Eve continued to think to herself. He does not want to hear what a sad sack I am or just calling myself a crappy person. She reflected, knowing he'd just get more annoyed if she tried to deprecate herself to diminish the blame. That's right. The blame, it was hers. Although she wasn't aware of her own methods, she definitely didn't plan to be annoying. It just sort of, happened. It rolled over her like a headache that her first mistake was dragging him back into the store again in the first place. All she was thinking about was that stupid ice and the dumb manager! She really felt so dumb for once.

She also knew Julius would not like to see her like this. Her major lack of charisma meant she couldn't cover a single mistake she made without looking like even more of a clown afterward. Ruairi was also on his way back out, and had even agreed to come to the mountain for some reason. She continued to listen to him, and actually nodded in agreement at what he was saying. This was probably the real reason the Rito didn't just bail on her at every opportunity, she actually did listen to him most of the time. Her presence taking enemy attacks for him so he could learn wizard abilities was also probably a big help in that.

"I was thinking about it. That damned basement ruined or sidetracked every plan I had tonight! I would have remembered the ice first instead of last if we had just not fallen down. Too late for that I suppose." she replied after a little bit of walking.

"I'll go heal and make the pasta. . . then in three days or so meet me at the cross-roads on the way up to Snowhead. I'll be honest I don't know why I picked this one. I have a really bad feeling about the weather up there! Oh there's the door. See youe up there then, my dear bird wizard!" she blathered as they rapidly approached the door. It seemed this place really wasn't that big after all. Especially when 90% of the crowd was gone.

Then. . . she was gone. That weird cryptid child vanished back into the dark, snowy street. Although it was satisfying for both of them to collect payments for these weird dungeon outings --even surprise ones-- it was some real mystery what her endgame was with all this. But one thing was for certain: she wanted Ruairi to be involved.