Fenris Really Is Bullshit [Sunwell][Eevachu + WillowtheWhisp]

The shift in gravity sent the ReDead Knight clumsily flying forward, its fist smashing into stone and scattering dust across the Kokiri's face. This gift from Dante was more than enough to offer the Kokiri the reprieve needed to strike back; with a quick thrust of his leg, Rika's body shot out from underneath the Gibdo's imposing form, just before the Kukri collided with its upper spine and sent it crashing into the ground. In the same motion, Rika thrust his fist forward; chunks of ice exploded outward, enveloping the ReDead's singed, burning back and encasing it in ice. Small cracks fractured across the steaming ice as it struggled against its frozen state, but for the moment it was immobilized.

Then, it could wait. Dante was the one in need of assistance now. "Dante, catch!" Rika's nimble fingers loosely gripped the small dagger sheathed at his right, the slick metal sliding from its sheath and flying straight towards the Deku, its blade shimmering with a chilling, blue energy enveloped by small snowflakes. If they weren't unlucky, Dante would not be the victim to its strike.

There was still the second ReDead, however; having abandoned its weapon, its crawl was changed to take further advantage of the reduced gravity. Its body vaulted forward with its arms, bouncing across the ground in an attempt to reduce distance between itself and whoever was closest for it to maul like a leopard pounding on a gazelle.

With blinding speed, Rika rushed to intercept it. The ReDead was the gazelle, not Rika. If the impact of his blows was weakened by the lighting, he would have to create his own additional force. Slipping a palm-sized packet out of his pouch, Rika tossed it high into the air as he leaped over the charging, legless ReDead. The pouch of Ignition Powder exploded against the ceiling, sending a wave of force expanding outward that pushed the Kokiri, scythe extended point-end below him, launching downward and straight into the ReDead. Sharp steel edge tore through the ReDead's skull, the Kokiri crashing into it and impaling the zombified cranium cleanly through, skewering it to the ground for a moment before completely decapitating it.

The Kokiri, now dazed and with the start of a zombie scythe skewer, something that would sell quite well at a goth festival, stumbled off the now normal corpse with his currently ineffectual weapon. He would need a moment to walk that off.

Meanwhile, the once-frozen ReDead waile and groaned, its ice coating cracking completely until it burst outward and into the air, its massive, rustic butcher sword-of-a-blade swung haphazardly at whoever was closest to its line of sight.

The paralytic wave had worn off, but Dante's arms and legs still felt sluggish, protesting with each movement. The day was dragging, and battle fatigue was beginning to set in. No choice but to push through. Dante leveled his Whirlwind at the oncoming ReDead, squeezing the trigger and firing off an opening shot. The gusts were nowhere near strong enough to harm or knock down the ReDead, but with the reduced gravity and the resulting inability to find truly solid footing, it at least gave the creature pause. Enough pause that the sound of a seed cracking open, followed by waves of heat, were evidence that Bepu had managed to reload. The ReDead before Dante wailed, scratching at its back as a gout of flame sprouted from it, the increased gravity bowing it low.

The flames winked out as quickly as they appeared, but not before Dante had caught sight of Rika's dagger, hurtling through the air, and had begun to move into position. With great labor he leaped into the air, squeezing his Whirlwind's trigger and firing a gust just below his feet. Assisted by the decreased gravity and by his Hover Boots, Dante shot through the air. The dagger whizzed just above the ReDead that was beginning to right itself, only to be caught by the handle. A moment later, and the dagger was embedded in the ReDead's chest, ice blossoming out from the center. Switching his Hover Boots off, Dante allowed his momentum to carry him forward, and with the ReDead's now top heavy body, the creature was easily toppled. Falling with it, Dante shoved his arm cannon into the Gibdo's face, expelling a timed explosive charge into its maw, before leaping off it's chest. The blinking sphere was lodged in place, and it would only be a few moments before the ReDead was no more.

Bepu, meanwhile, had cracked a pegasus seed, putting some distance between himself and the now unfrozen ReDead, and moving towards the relative safety of Rika, who had dispatched the crippled ReDead a moment earlier.

With progressively rapid blinks, the ReDead's dull, expressionless eyes and gaping jaw wrapped around the explosive, it was completely unconcerned- perhaps even unaware- it was about to meet the end of its unlife. The Gibdo's skull expanded outwards with the flash of light, tearing apart flesh and bone alike and sending its body shredding into many smaller pieces.

Meanwhile, Rika, having started to come to his senses, saw Bepu leading the ReDead straight towards him, the Korok frantically charging past with the ReDead Knight mercilessly tearing shortly at the air trailing him. Expecting Bepu to take one out on his on was a bit too much, it seemed, but he supposed it convenient, bringing the fight to him. Still, though, his weapon seemed to have an odd formation. Rika frowned at the bloodied, marred skull he had brutalized, impaled by his scythe pole. Not amusing or effective.

With a double handed swing forward, the skull slid off, careening towards the pursuing ReDead Knight. With a heavy swing of its blade, it cleaved the skull in two, roaring back in response- though at the loss of its comrade or as a response to being attacked, who knew. Would a ReDead even feel sympathy for fallen allies, or be aware they were even slain? It was not even meant to be an effective attack; Rika was more concerned with cleaning his arms.

With a second swing of his arm, a clear orb was sent flying to the ReDead Knight. In yet another swoop, it swung its blade down, bashing against the aqueous gem and sending it exploding into a torrent of water. The sword provided a practical shield, but its body was still bloodied and pierced. This had little effect on the ReDead's pursuit, its blade continuing its lunge forward for Rika. The Kokiri leaped, and pointed at his feet. The ReDead Knight's blade crashed against steel, the shredding whine of rusted metal against ground plates crying out as its blade swept upward to nip at the rising Kokiri's feet. It paid no attention to the glowing circle at its feet.

Yet, the Kokiri had risen far too high for the ReDead Knight to reach, and before it could leap in an attempt to pin him to the ceiling, steel spikes rose out from below. They brutally twisted and tore through the ReDead Knight's thin, sickly legs, ripping apart its stomach and ribcage and stopping just short of its head, the thin, iron point of the spore extruding from its throat. Its movements had ceased entirely.

Rika crashed to the ground painfully, his body still aching from the few moments before when he had previously divebombed a ReDead Knight. Laying restlessly, he called out "I'll. . . be there in a moment."

That left Rika, Dante, and Bepu in a steel room inhabited only by the rotting stench of ancient flesh, and the faint buzz emanating from the unmoving robot humped over in a pile towards the back of the room.

Dante, panting heavily, sat right where he stood, taking several moments to rest. It felt like it'd been an eternity since they'd left Hyrule for this sun-cursed landscape, and while the Deku was no stranger the long, arduous labors that went into such forays, this was getting ridiculous. It had been a long time since he'd done anything quite this taxing, that was certain. "... Why are we here again?" he groaned aloud his rhetorical question, sure that the sentiment was shared by his companions. Getting too old for this. Goddesses knew that Rika was at least twice his age, maybe even thrice. Dante looked over at the prone Kokiri, briefly wondering if he wasn't also just a little bit sick of this shit. With a groan, he forced himself back to his feet, moving to collect his Kukri and to return Rika's dagger to its owner, after several moment spent prying it out of the Gibdo's chest.

Bepu seemed equally exhausted, though not from action during the battle. Normally a civilian, just a sandwich delivery man for Din's sake, the emotional rigors of combat, of constant exposure to near-death situations, was beginning to take its toll on him. Even if he was an "intelligence officer", Bepu could count on his hands the number of times he'd been so close to danger. Most of the time he just skirted around it, but it seemed that the day had been all about charging headlong into the fray. Bepu's prior claims, of needing to accompany these two into the portal in order to obtain greater information regarding the enemy's plans, were all well and good, but he was beginning to understand that perhaps that'd just been arrogant bluster, a strange belief that he needed to be involved. Of the three in the room, he was the least qualified. Well, at anything besides sandwich making and delivery, of course, but that was a given. Bepu let out a low and unhappy groan.

"Yeah, let's. . . take a break after we get out of this place." Rika grunted out between coughs, bringing himself to an upright position. His senses had become numb to the pervading stench of death that lingered in the air like a haze. It was strange, to him, how he could turn accustomed to something so vile, but he supposed it was some form of survival instinct at work, as reeling from foul odors floating around his nostrils would certainly cut into his combat prowess. Nonetheless, he was fine, though his body ached from the impacts he had suffered against the ground- nothing broken, thankfully, but whines in the form of bruised pains were likely splotched over his body. Certainly not pleasant.

After a few more moments of rest- during which Rika had retrieved his palm-sized blade from Dante,- Rika pushed himself to his feet and made his way over to the inactive robot. Thin, shut slots rest where its face was- or at least, what Rika assumed to be its face,- and large, Goron-palm sized mitts that could only be taken for hands rest at its side, still and lacking the electrical impulses he had seen previously. The gentle, constant buzzing coming from it was clearer from Rika's location. That meant it was not completely dead, at least. Its current situation made it seem as though it were sleeping, really, which made its noises more like a snore than a buzz.

"Now, how do we wake this thing up. . . " Rika stared at it curiously. Batting it on the head with his hand- with his scythe- kicking it with his foot- kicking it harder didn't seem to work. "Doesn't seem interested in waking up. . . Just like Wollo after a day of dungeon diving, haha." Rika laughed at his own joke.

"Then. . . Perhaps I can wake it up the same way as Wollo." A crystal clear orb swirled into existence in Rika's extended palm, and hovering a handful of feet over the robot's head, he crushed it within his fingers. Water rained down like a small bucket, splashing all over the robot.

In an instant, its circuits came to life, its hands sparking together with their electrical connection and splashing at its size wildly. "Bzzt! Robot overboard, bzzt! Fell from the bridge, bzzt! Unit 4207434- Oh, hello. Bzzt." Immediately, the robot's gestures calmed, its presence now focused on the trio. "Bzzt. I regret to inform you only workers are allowed in this facility, bzzt. Please refer to the guard outside to lead you outside, bzzt."

Rika just chuckled and glanced back at Dante and Bepu. "I love these things, they're fascinating, are they not?" Then, he turned back, and, with a dry expression, blanky informed, "There are no guards outside. In fact, there is no one else in this facility. . . probably."

"They're certainly full of personality, anyways. Makes me wonder about their creators." Dante grunts, watching the robot intently. Bepu, meanwhile, was fishing around in his pack for a snack, though how he could be hungry with the overpowering death stench in the room, Dante had no idea. Shaking his head, both at the robot and Korok's antics, he returned his attention to Unit 4207434. The bot seemed to be pondering Rika's proclamation that there were no guards, its arms hanging loosely at its side, its head looking at the ground.

"... bzzzt.... No guards....?.... bzzzt." It said quietly, its metallic voice somehow conveying its great confusion. All of a sudden, a loud alarm began to sound from what was presumably its mouth, as it ran about the room. "Nonononononono, bzzt! No guards..... facility unguarded..... non-compliant..... going to be audited.... what if facility is decommissioned.... NooooOooOOoOO... bzzt....." The frantic bot comes to a halt, hanging its head in utter defeat. Dante looks over at Rika. What strange creatures.

He coughs quietly, hoping to get the robot's attention. "Well.... Maybe there's no guards, but that sounds like maybe you've been promoted to the job? In fact, we haven't seen many others around here, so you may as well be the foreman of the entire place!" Dante says dryly.

At that, the robot's head immediately perks up. "Foreman... bzzt! Yes, yes this is true! If a robot is out of commission, then its responsibilities fall on the next worker in the chain of command... bzzt... So, me!" The robot runs around happily. He runs up to Dante and Rika, holding up a hand at them. Bzzt. "Halt, citizens! Please wait while biometrics are scanned and compared against the database..." a faint blue light bathes the three of them for a brief moment. "Polling.... beep... beep.... beep... All users found in current database archives, and are cleared for facility access. Welcome, citizen Dante, citizen Rika and citizen Bepu! You will be pleased to note that you are currently the first citizens to enter this facility in millenia! Welcome to the grand re-opening, bzzt. Refreshments and souvenirs will be available at the end of the tour. Please follow me, beep!" With that, Unit 4207434 began to move towards a door, tripping some function that turned on the facility lights. The soft glow of the overhead lights seemed to be enough to stabilize gravity, but not enough to weigh the group down significantly.

When the robot started wailing its security measures, Rika's first instinct was to smash it. Not out of annoyance- quite the opposite, smashing it was the last thing he wanted,- but because the noise would lead the hordes of undead to them. Luckily for the trio, before Rika could spill a few spells in its face, Dante had a few tricks up his sleeve.

The robot was now boasting with newfound pride in his role and status, and as if suddenly recognized in this new position of power, the overhead lights suddenly flickered on. Did he mention some sort of tour? Impatiently, Rika moved to follow him- though not before snuffing out his now unnecessary Will-o-Wisp within his palm.

"Hey, does this facility have some form of power generator? One that, perhaps, supplies energy to other locations within this desert?" The robot buzzed back, "Bzzt. You must be speaking of the Powershift Generator, bzzt! It seems as though morning duty neglected to enable it, beep. No worries, as we will arrive in due time through the tour, bzzt!"

Rika essentially dismissed what he had said. "Yeah, that sounds nice, but we are actually in somewhat of in a hurry, so we will skip the tour. Just take us to the generator." The robot beeped defiantly. "No can do, bzzt! Protocol insists I follow the details of the tour, beep beep! I could never disobey protocol, bzzt... bzzt... although... I can now as foreman, beep. But never, bzzt! I must stick to my assignment no matter what, bzzt!" Rika rolled his eyes. Who cared about his assignment? This was far more important. Rika was not interested in getting a tour of an empty facility where they, what, raised the living dead?

. . . He supposed he had little choice in the matter, though. With a heavy sigh, he begrudgingly replied, "Fine. Let us make with this tour then."

"Bzzt! Excellent, bzzt! This is an informal tour since we are not starting at the entrance, but let us begin the Shoal Rock Mausoleum Museum tour, beep!"

Wait, what did it just say?

"Mausoleum...?" Bepu mutters out, sharing a brief look with Dante. That certainly sounded ominous for numerous reasons, not the least of which being that something that's dead wouldn't appreciate his sandwiches. Also, maybe, just maybe, the ReDeads they had just put to rest were no accident. The tiny korok's body shudders, recalling the terror of running through the Gibdo. "So... when you say mausoleum, you mean like ancient mummies and things, right?" His voice trembles as he squeaks out his questions.

"Oh, yes, bzzt. We have several mummified remains of ancient kings and other key figures of the past. However, that is not the main attraction at our facility: in fact, we were known across the Sea for our interactive exhibits, bzzt, I believe you have already experienced the visitor's welcome, in fact!" The robot nods emphatically.

Din, what have we gotten ourselves into. Bepu shudders again. But it wasn't like they had a choice. They needed to find the generator. "Exactly how many of these exhibits are there... and how many will we have to go through to get to the generator...?"

"Bzzt... By the official count, there have been 751,902 iterations of our exhibits, as the floors shift to provide our customers with a fresh experience, each time they enter, bzzt. This function is powered by the Powershift Generator, and since the generator has fallen into disrepair, the last shift was quite some time ago... bzzt. If you would like, I could switch to auxiliary power reserves and cycle the exhibit... bzzt?" Unit 4207434 beeped out, sounding entirely too excited about the last part.

"No, no, that won't be necessary. Since we're new, this is all a fresh experience for us." Dante interjected quickly, before it could do something unpleasant. The bot hung its head briefly, clearly dejected.

"In any case, bzzt, there should be six museum rooms, though not all of them are quite so..." it pauses, finding the correct word, "involved. In fact, it looks like some of the children's rooms have been mixed into the bag! Those are great fun, bzzt."

The children's rooms? That was curious on its own, but Rika could address that on arrival- at the moment, he had a more pressing question to present- After all, if he was forced to attend this tour, he would make the most of it.

"Earlier, you mentioned this was an -interactive- exhibit, yes?" Rika posed, much to the buzzing of the robot. "Then," he added, "I presume the Redead Knights slain in the previous room to be a part of this interactivity?"

"That is correct, bzzt."

"Then, correct me if I have made an error, but those of a more.. common ilk would have extreme difficulty not perishing against them. Does this tour have a high mortality rate?"

"Of course not, bzzt! The safety of our customers is our highest priority, bzzt!" Then why did they sick ReDead Knights against them?

"As there are so many iterations, the tour is custom designed to cater to each customer's strengths, bzzt. However, it seems the late foreman's absence has caused things to get out of hand, bzzt. . . no matter, for I, as the new foreman, can fix things, bzzt!" The robot beamed, pride in its new title.

Rika could not help but smugly grin- Massive hordes of undead, ReDead Knights, and likely more deadly unliving abominations rest here, which meant one thing; that due to the lack of care, the trio was at the highest level. "So then, after conquering this, you are saying we will be at the top of the tour? A simple matter, of course, but I want to confirm." His pride spoke for him, though the robot seemed to pay it little mind.

"Bzzt, that is true, yes yes! As the new foreman, I must prepare a special reward for our new top tourists after this, bzzt!" That was all Rika needed to hear. With an arrogant chuckle that could put off even the most elite of individuals, Rika simply commented, "Then, let us continue with the tour."

...

What the hell. What was everything they had said no more than a mere few moments ago?

"Welcome to the children's room, bzzt." Rika could not help but laugh incredulously. "This is some form of prank, yes? Surely this is not your highest level." Even looking into the room insulted him.

A small handful of Stalchildren stumbled around the dirt floor making up the room's bottom like inebriated toddlers, and small tanks were scattered across the room, filled to the brim with murky, darkened water and swarming with Skullfish and Bago-Bago. Drifting aimlessly were the small, blackened hairballs known as Boe, while the swifter- but equally as harmless- Ghost Rats weaved around them and in between the wide, thin, fragile legs of the Stalchildren, fading upon collision with one wall then reappearing momentarily out another.

"Bzzt," the robot buzzed, as if interjecting, "it is true the previous foreman's absence could create some strange scenarios, such as two levels intermingling- however, you are a child, so you will enjoy it, bzzt. Let us enter and I shall explain all remarkable details, bzzt."

Rika was practically seething. "You believe me to enjoy this? You believe me to be a child? I am not, you foolish robot." He spit out, storming straight inside and to the closest Stalchild. "This is how I feel about this room." His left leg shot out, crashing into the stumbling Stalchild and shattering its pelvis, sending it flopping to the ground, its head rolling aimlessly in an attempt to find its body.

"This room is over, we will-" Before he could speak further, a hand shot out of the ground, its flesh peeling off the bone like the skin off of an old, molded grape. Its thin, long, sickly fingers wrapped themselves around Rika's grounded ankle, its supernaturally strong grip rendering him immobile- as they did, several other hands shot out of the ground, some near Rika and wrestling with him to grab at his other unhinged limbs and body, others spread throughout the room. A short distance from the Kokiri, a massive blob which towered over the trio- perhaps taller than all three even combined, rose from the dirt, its body covered with distorted, crying faces and bloodied orifices oozing pus, blood, and other fluids. Each of these faces possessed a gaping maw full of razor sharp teeth, while a large hole where a stomach would be on some normal creature was like a monstrous blender, jagged edges extending every which direction like daggers. It was instantly recognizable as a Dead Hand, though it seemed far larger and more menacing than the typical kind one would find in wells or in their children's bedrooms, snug under their bed.

"Shit."

"Bepu! Distract the rest!" Dante snarled out, gesturing with a wave at the various other critters flitting about the room. The Dead Hand was his concern, and while the other monsters would ordinarily not pose much of a threat, even a single moment lost to them could mean falling to the more powerful creature. The Deku could tell the sandwich man was being pushed to the edge, his knees and hands trembling visibly. But he'd shown courage thus far, if begrudgingly, and that was what they needed more than anything else. Dante and Rika could make up for any lack in skill or experience. Tearing his gaze away from the Korok, Dante's kukri hissed as it blurred into his left hand, his Whirlwind appearing in his right. He leaned forward into a dead sprint, just as Bepu shot past him, leaving a trail of fire in his wake. Good work.

Pushing off the ground, the swordsman worked his legs to breaking, even now still not recovered from the days.... weeks?... efforts. How long have we been here? It feels like an eternity. The never-setting sun had offset his sense of time. But there was a job to do yet; with a herculean leap, he departed the ground. Squeezing the trigger of his Whirlwind, and mentally switching his Hover Boots into functionality, Dante flew forward, the leaves of his head bending as the wind of his departure flattened them against his face. Out of the corner of his eye, Dante spied the delivery man speeding equally as quickly, his arms thrown above his head. Either a sign of his abject terror, or an attempt to gain the attention of our enemies... probably both. Both were moving too quickly for the Dead Hand's quickly appearing appendages to grab hold, merely grasping at empty air in their wake.

A low whine began to hum through the air as Dante silently invoked his magic, drawing quickly towards Rika and the Dead Hand. Dante ducked low and leaned left, reaching the tip of his blade out. In a clean slice he sheared through the wrist of the hand grasping at Rika's ankle, leaving the Kokiri free to move once more. As he did so, he spat a Deku Nut from his snout, the tiny sphere soaring through the air above the Dead Hand. With the span of a breath, Dante was engulfed in green light and vanished.

Appearing above the Dead Hand, his kukri now flipped and aimed below him, the Deku Nut collided with the ceiling. The burst of light multiplying gravity, the Deku shot towards the ground, his boots now inactive, blade sinking heavily into the Dead Hand's back side, if it even had such a thing, his weight pulled the sword several feet down. Leveraging himself on the creature, he pushed out and tore the weapon from its flesh, flipping off and soaring towards the other side of the room, his Hover Boots activated once more.

Leg free or not, it still did not change the fact Rika was weaponless and being swarmed. Luckily, the unintentional aid of his Deku ally was all that he needed. The various mutilated, grotesque disembodied limbs lurched downward from the shining glow of Dante's nut, halting their advances for but a moment. But a moment was all Rika needed. With a swift tug of his dagger, Rika spun forward, a thin, but still equally as powerful wave of magical energy surging from his body, battering and tearing against the hands. The closer ones were crushed or even torn asunder entirely, while the ones towards the edges were merely mashed or broken. The ones that were yet able burrowed their way back beneath the earth, while those too damaged to function simply limped lifelessly onto the ground.

"Bzzt. It seems as though the exhibit has been updated since the last visit, bzzt." The robot chimed in from the entryway. Yeah, no kidding? How was a child supposed to survive this? "My humblest apologizes, bzzt. Please accept a 10% discount at our gift shop as compensation, bzz zzt." Now was not the time for that.

Rika had to follow up on Dante's attack before the abominable gore beast could flee underground, awaiting another chance to lunge on them. Rika's hands whipped into his bag and whipped out a large, round, black orb. The familiar hiss of a fuse trickled down its top, something nothing other than an explosive would do. Yet, despite its flame-tipped wick, it would prove chilling to the touch- the work of an enchantment, no doubt. With a wide chuck, Rika hurled the ticking ice bomb at the lurching Dead Hand, but it was a moment too late, burying underground just as the bomb exploded. Rather than flame and shrapnel, a wave of ice chunks expanded from the point of impact, shattering a nearby tank and freezing half of its water contents immediately. The other half, and that half's fish, sogged the dirt below.

"Damn!" Rika cursed, taking the moment to exchange his drawn dagger for his primary weapon, his scythe. They'd have a harder time getting close now, with this added reach.

Meanwhile, just below Bepu, he felt the ground at his feet rumble and shake, for no more than half a second. Suddenly, a massive, horrific blob of a beast was towering over him, its horrifying blender mouth threatening to consume him whole. Notably, a large chunk of flesh was missing from its upper body, the open flesh and blood frozen completely shut.