Cucco Kidnapping

Cucco Kidnapping
OOC/Quest Thread

It was around noontime. The sun was high in the sky, animals milling about, warm and humid. A small semi-circle of houses and a few fenced areas dotted the landscape.

Ronaldo Kawager drifted into town, humming softly to himself. He, as always, had no clue where he was going or why, but he had no doubts that soon enough he would find something worth doing. It simply felt like one of those times, one of those calms before a storm. Sooner or later the Great Being he knew watched him would craft something for him. Something. He would then laugh as his Kikwi servant danced.

The little Kikwi muttered something about mice and keys and boards as he glanced about. Something was odd. Normally the air seemed more charged around this area, more lively.

It occurred to him what was so off. This was near the Lon Lon Ranch, where farms and such abounded. It was too quiet. Far too quiet. Looking around, he saw that horses and cows, goats and dogs were here.

Just no Cuccos.

He approached an old farmhand and tugged on his leg.
"Excuse me sir, what has happened to the Cuccos?"

The old man gave him a tired glance and said wearily;
"They're all gone. Lots o' other farms are out of 'em, too."

Masaro walked along the paths into Lon Lon ranch. Kirota didn't like the milk or eggs made in Castle town, so she always had Masaro go to the ranch for their "More natural" products, in her words. Masaro still though it was just because of that kokiri boy who talks to the cows and chickens. 

'That must be awesome. Talking to cows. They must have a lot to say, even though they probably have low self esteems. They tell funny jokes, but because we can't hear them, we don't laugh. We're so cruel.' His thoughts were interrupted as he went through what he needed to hear, muttering to himself. "Moo, neigh, woof, baa, people talk... OHMAHGAWD." He looked around. "No bawk!"

He heard someone say the Cuccos were gone. He immediately ran up to the person, grabbing his shoulders. "Wh-what do you mean no Cuccos! My roommate only eats eggs from here! I'm screwed if I don't bring any back to her! Please tell me you have some stock left!"

Ronaldo gently tapped the Hylian who started shaking the poor man, attempting to calm him. "Now, now, harassing the poor man won't bring us any closer to them," he soothed. Though, this did seem like it would be a problem; if there were no Cuccos, then a major source of food would be gone and possibly cause inflation among other foodstuffs. And then Ronny would have to pay extra for his nice Lon Lon Milk. That wouldn't do. That wouldn't do at all.

As he was shaking, the poor farmer muttered, "A-Ah t-th-think y-ya just missed tha last shipment," And then took a second to break away from the other man and recover. "An' o' course we can't give ya any more if'n we don't have the Cuccos..."

The kikwi nodded at the other newcomer's inquiry, a kikwi much like himself. "That is a good question. Has this happened before? Do you have any ideas?"

The farmer adjusted his worn straw hat and shook his head. "Naw. An' if'n we knew where they were, Ah reckon they wouldn't be lost, ya know? Ya might try talkin' ta tha little blond boy o'er yonder. He has a way with 'em, an' other animals too."

Before they had a chance, the boy in question raised his voice. "I can hear you," he called, "And I don't know where they are, either. They weren't acting any strangely before they vanished."

The straw-hatted man slumped, heart sinking. "Well, Ah guess ya could g'won up that road there. There's a place we call tha Cucco Clinic up there. Tha folks there study 'em an' stuff. Ah'd go maself, but..." He trailed off and looked back at the farm. "Ah got stuff to do, too."

Masaro became slightly more calm. "Cucco clinic... That sounds decent. I need those eggs though..." 

"Ma.....ro..." 

Almost a whisper on the wind, though only Masaro heard it. He looked around, slightly weirded out. "Woah. Crazy. Did anyone else here that? It was like.... "Masarooooooo"... By the way, that's me. Masaro Otak, freelance photographer."

To emphasize this point he took out his camera, snapping a picture of the two kikwis. "Aw... It's like a family reunion! Wait, are you related? I honestly can't tell, all you Kikwi look pretty similar. Not to be racist or anything. I love the fluffy people. So are you two going to go up to that clinic?"

"Oh, heavens, no, we're not related!" Ronaldo said airily. "He's much too stuffy to be related to yours truly." The other Kikwi was clearly trying too hard at something. That posturing with his arms he was doing did make Ronaldo laugh, though.

"Yes, I suppose we should go to the clinic, though. The sooner this strangeness is fixed the sooner we can all move along." He flitted over to the path the farmer had pointed out. "I'm Ronaldo Kawager. I just follow the wind."

He pointed down the path. "Shall we?"

Even without hearing their answers, he spun and began down the path to their little cucco clinic. The wind blew softly, gently chilling him.

Masaro followed the kikwis up towards the Cucco clinic, but when he realized he could walk much, much faster than them, he slowed down and started talking. "Well, looks like we'll be working together for a bit. If the Aqua Knight comics are anything to go by, even simple stuff like this turns into some crazy awesome conspiracy. Then we have to kick stuff." 

He then looked down at Plum. "Wait. You're the luckiest fluffy thing I've ever met. You have two names. Which do you prefer? Plum or Donald? And if either of you would like, I could carry you. It'd probably go much faster."

Ronaldo shook his head at the hylian's nice offer. "No thanks," said the little kikwi, "Ronaldo Kawager's a wanderer, see? I like the feel of the ground beneath my feet."

He did, however, quicken his pace a bit to keep up with his taller friend. They reached the institute soon and without incident, though a few times the walking kikwi stumbled only to reappear soon after.

The building was large and imposing, its door a huge archway. There stood several other separate buildings, elongated and looking somewhat like hallways, and the sound of cuccos calling filled the air. It was quite an odd change of setting after walking in silence for so long. Would this really hold the answer?

Ronaldo trotted up to the front door, then stopped. It was clearly made for larger people than he. "Hm. Mister Masaro, would you kindly knock?"

Masaro picked up Plum, placing him up on the Hylian's shoulder. The three then set off towards the Cucco clinic. "Sorry 'bout mistaking your name there, plum. Are all the members of your family named after fruit?" He was then yet again distracted by Ronny's statement.

"Oh, I know exactly what you mean. The ground beneath my feet is so much better than anything else. Though... I can't think of many other ways of travel... Maybe flying? Yeah, that's one way. I haven't done that though." 

Masaro took out his pictograph box and snapped a picture of the building as they neared it. It was then requested of him to knock. The hylian went up and placed three strong punches on the door, actually punching hard enough to leave the imprint of knuckles. "We've gotta make sure they hear it."

While he declined to comment on the indentations Masaro made, Ronaldo did chime in regarding his fellow Kikwi's story. "Peach? That's just so peachy! I bet she's a real, princess-y type, too, right?" Pressed Ronaldo, shortly before the door opened, revealing a short, beige-coated little man, with only a ring of hair round the very outside of his head. His coat was spattered with stains, the dull green and brown colors of which made Ronaldo unsure of whether he wanted to ask or not where they came from. The man looked rather tired, with bags forming under his bespectacled eyes.

"Yes?" asked the man, who by the second looked more and more like he hated his life and his job. Ronny could almost see the gears turning in his head, see the disdain with which he looked at these three oddballs, the momentary shock followed by the annoyance at the mark in the door. "What is it?"

Ronaldo stepped up to do the talking first. "Well, we hate to bother you while you look so, shall we say, henpecked, but we were told that perhaps you would have some insight as to the cucco disappearances around here?"

The man's mouth tightened into a grim line at the pun, and then into a more neutral, if still serious, face. "Ah. Yes, that has been happening, hasn't it...? Well, come in, come in, we may as well introduce you to the director..."

They stepped inside and were overwhelmed by a mass onslaught of crowing sounds. They had been able to hear it from outside but being inside it was entirely different. The hall inside was full of small, cell-like chambers for the Cuccos, the smell of animals and straw filling the air.

Masaro kept Plum on his shoulder, even as he went inside the place. "Aw, usually when I go up to a big building an knock on the door there's a butler. And he offers me tea. You aren't going to offer me tea, are you?"

As they were led inside, Masaro looked around at all the Cuccos. They were all so loud too. Hmmmm... He was still, pondering a bit, when he finally asked. "Hey, what do you think they're talking about? And who's this director guy? You mean like a stage director? I might know him then!"

Ronaldo glanced over at Plum for a moment, saying simply, "You know, perhaps you're on to something..."

The worker leading them shook his head, though. "Tsk. No, it's not that simple. Though you would probably know better than I would. We've had cuccos here. It is sort of our job to research them." He heaved a heavy sigh at Masaro's question, though. "No, not like-- look, he's the one in charge, that's all you need to know."

The group approached the end of the hall where a large white door stood. Going through it, they entered the facility proper, where cuccos ran and flew about behind glass and many, many people with clipboards or goggles, or some combination of the two, stood before them, studying the beings on the other side of the glass, scribbling notes, and the like.

The man led them to a room with the aforementioned Director, a man with brown, messy hair and an impressively pointed mustache. "Hm?" he said slightly quizzically. "Sebastian, who are these?"

"They seem to be investigating the disappearances that are happening lately."

The director's face instantly darkened. "Ah. Well, I expected this to happen sooner or later. We'll talk in the morning. For now... Sebastian, there are a few vacant rooms in the workers' quarters, correct?"

"Yes sir. I'll take them there now."

Masaro nodded when the man said the director was in charge. “Aw… I swear I know this guy…” Upon being brought to the room and seeing all the people in funny costumes, Masaro whispered to his kikwi companion on his shoulder. “They’re probably getting ready for the next play they’re doing…”

When he was led to the director, however, he looked over the guy briefly. “Damn… you aren’t a fish guy.” He then listened to the director, entirely oblivious to the ominousness in his words. “Wait, this place works as a lab, a chicken coop, a theater, AND an inn? This place rocks! Take me to my room, good sir!”

The Director arced an eyebrow. "Theater? Oh, you mean the observation rooms? Well, I'm glad you're..." He stopped as Plum thrashed, sighing as he settled back down. "N-no, that's not what I meant. You must understand that is not my intention. I just thought, since you came all the way here, and it's getting late, you must be tired."

He paused and a silence filled the air, calming down. "...However," he continued, "If you insist, you may take a tour of the grounds first. We cannot simply hand out cuccos or everyone will expect them from us. So I'll have to make sure all the paperwork's done and pick out one that we can spare and is healthy. I have much work to do, so that'll probably take until morning anyway, so you may as well relax. I promise we'll do our best to accommodate your stay."

The man from earlier, who had previously excused himself, returned. "I'll try and have the rooms cleaned up. Also, Director, here are the forms for taking a Cucco."

"Thank you, Sebastian." He addressed the more rambunctious Kikwi again. "How many would you like? I believe we have around five that we can spare. You could also try picking out one of the cuccos we are studying, but you'll understand if we must charge for those."

Ronaldo stood quietly, thinking. "Why don't we let him off for now, Mr. Plum? I'd like to see more of the facility..."

Masaro smiled as Plum got what he wanted. “Okay, so does that mean that I can get yhe eggs I need? My roommate was very specific and she said she wanted Lon Lon Ranch eggs. Do you know if there’s any of those laying around here?”

At the prospect of a tour, Masaro instantly pumped his fist. “Yes! I am SO down with a tour. We get to see the cuccos, the theater, the people in long white coats with clipboards, and maybe even a pool! There’s a pool, right? That’d be so cool! And for the theater, what kind of shows are you running?”

He paused in thought. “Cucco run? That’s my favorite cucco related childhood story! Oh! You guys cast the cuccos, don’t you?” Masaro had gone into a crazy blathering frenzy, one that would most likely be pointless to try to stop.