Threatening Creature [closed]

Discussion in 'Quest Bureau' started by demo, Jul 13, 2011.

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  1. demo

    demo New Member reg

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    Name:Threatening creature

    Description: A beast Threatens a colony of zora in the eastern sea. A few zora in the area have risen up to the task of taking combat against this evil and vanquishing it. They must venture to a temple at the bottom of the sea where the creature lives.

    Players/Characters: Corenz Travis (demo), Mizu (zoraman)

    Reward: For Corenz - ice enchantment 50-60= -10 rupees
    for Mizu - Jump strike, special triangle punch 50-20-20= +10 rupees
    demo, Jul 13, 2011
    #1
  2. WillowtheWhisp

    WillowtheWhisp Admin admin

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    Looks fine. I'm assuming those -10 rupees are being deducted from the rupees that Corenz has. Passed :V
    WillowtheWhisp, Jul 13, 2011
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  3. demo

    demo New Member reg

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    demo, Jul 24, 2011
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  4. WillowtheWhisp

    WillowtheWhisp Admin admin

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    This passes, but I have a few notes:

    Demo, I would like you to begin spell checking and grammar checking your posts; you leave many things without capitalization when they should be, etc. Your posts do seem to be getting longer, which is good, and I would like for you to continue working on the length and content of your posts.

    Zora, you're doing well for one of your first Roleplays. However, I would like you to begin adding more than just dialogue to your posts; your posts are very dialogue heavy. If possible, try to have half dialogue and half descriptions of the character's surroundings, their actions, etc. Ideally, this ratio will shift, to where dialogue is less than half your post, probably around a third or a quarter.
    WillowtheWhisp, Jul 25, 2011
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