Honor: Rookie Name: Elroi Kalema Age: 15 Gender: Male Race: Hylian Place of Origin: Hyrule Castle Town P/W/C: 1/4/2 Treasures: Melee Magic- 60 Ice Shot- 80 Pirate's Charm- 90 Lens of Truth- 105 Book of Mudora- 110 Water Walking- 135 Racial treasures: Magic Proficiency- Adding extra 35 rupees for magic based Treasures Rupee Riches- Adding 50 rupees but not for creation Remaining Rupees: 50 Height: 5'6" Weight: 120lbs Equipment: Wide khaki leather pants with padded knees, a red and dark brown three quarter sleeved cotton tunic topped with a black silk vest, fingerless leather gloves with studded knuckles, dark brown leather short boots with black soles. Appearance: Black hair with bangs that go to his eyes on the sides and gets longer as it goes back, eventually reaching the nape of his neck in the back. Icy Blue eyes with slightly pale white skin. Not very muscular but he is in shape and somewhat toned. Personality: He tries to remain calm at all times and rarely gets angry as he doesn't want his emotions to cloud his judgment, hence why he carries around many truth discerning objects. His view on life is to see things as they are, and to present himself in a manner just as straightforward. Living at home while his father worked the stalls most of the day he had to learn how to look after himself. He isn't a bad cook and knows how to keep a house clean and in good condition. While he enjoys the hustle and bustle of the city life he doesn't like to stay in one place doing one thing for too long. He is rather curious of the world and it's inhabitants as the only people he ever really came into contact with were customers. Residence: Hyrule Castle Town, Residential Area Pet: N/A Backstory: Growing up in Hyrule Castle Town, Elroi is the only child of his merchant father Kamat. He lost his mother to a rare disease that had luckily skipped his generation of the family. His father has instilled in him a great sense of business and thus he is pretty good at discerning the full value of items and goods. He carries items with him taken from his father's shop at all times that allow him to better find his way, as he has much to learn about the world and it's inhabitants, be they human or nonhuman. He has always been intrigued by magic and has practiced it ever since he was a small child. He is able to defend himself without the use of weapons because of his training, and seeks to become even more skilled with magic by adventuring. He never had many real friends due to the city life; everyone was always busy or too important to talk or hangout. Tired of the same daily routine in Hyrule Castle Town, he seeks something new in life and believes that adventure best suits his desires.
Wow, must've missed this completely. If you're still around, Kien, sorry about that. :( It's important for when you purchase treasures in the future to know how many rupees you have (75r). For the sake of records, it'd also be good if you put down the racial treasures into your treasures list. I know you know about them, because otherwise your math wouldn't have worked out, but it's nice to write them down, just for clarity's sake. Other than that, this seems good. Simple, but good. Again, very sorry for the delay. [1/2]
I'd like to see the personality section expanded on beyond just a few keywords and phrases. I'm not asking for much, but I can't feel good about passing this when the personality section is a single sentence.
It's alright I think. I just figured I was missing something. I had actually PM'd someone about my character. Hm.. I understand completely. I would like to know what kind of stuff should be included into personality however. The term itself can be pretty broad so I wasn't really sure what to put down.
Complete sentences describing how he thinks, how he acts. You've got the bare bones in there; now it's time to flesh things out. If you can, base some of his non-genetic traits in his backstory. For example, 'he fears fire because his house burned down when he was 8.' Does that help?
I think I did a little better now, anything else need fixing? Also I know this isn't the place to ask but I was on the site at the starting week of last month and I wanted to submit a treasure. But the submissions were never opened. It wasn't anything major, but I was wanting to see if you all would allow Melee Magic to be any type of magical element instead of always being electrical sparks.
Personality's set. That's not how submission work anymore, but I can understand the confusion; it seemed that the change was never put into the Manual. Sorry bout that. I made a post on the index page and edited the Manual. Here. That's a good suggestion to make c: Can you please put in the racial treasures and list your remaining rupees?
How about that? I broke it down with the math and stuff too. Thanks to those extra rupees I actually added water walking onto his abilities.
Yeah, you're good. Just change "remaining rupees" to 50r, instead of 0r, to account for Rupee Riches. [1/2]
