The Land Down Under [Not Darksea]

( )

Guy facepalmed. That horrendous thing was swimming away, but Navina just had to turn around and stab it in the face. Even his sister wasn't that stu--no, she totally was. Why was he always surrounded with complete fools. It was depressing that his most competent peers might be a tier exclusive to a religious nutjob and a hypocritical Hyrule Guard Captain.

Regardless, he had no interest in this fight. If Navina wanted to get devoured by a hundred-meter-long nightmare-eel, that was her business. It was a wonder she managed to live this long anyway. Guy turned downward into the sea and begin flapping his arms in something that resembled swimming. He was in full bail mode. That was, until he met eyes with Sienna, who was mounted atop a swimming Wallmaster. A annoyed bubble of, "Dindamnit," popped out of Guy's snout.

Guy struggled to escape, but all Sienna had to do was extend a palm towards him, activating her Magnet Glove. Her body was pulled towards his slightly, while he was launched towards her thanks to the metal in his weapons. In short order, Guy was stuck on the swimming wallmaster alongside his sister, scowling, as they of course advanced towards the eel. He was quietly cursing her in annoyance, but underwater the bubbles were mumbled meaningless.

Sienna couldn't care less about her brother or what he was doing--but he had something she needed right now. There was a colossal monster right in her sight, and she was intent on slaughtering it whether she could reach it or not. Her gauntlet brazenly shoved right into Guy's Adventure Pouch, ripping out his Cane of Echoes--along with a few other trinkets Guy frantically recovered from sinking into the abyss.

Sienna rose into a braced standing position, shoving her glaive into Guy's possession so she could take the cane in both hands. With a mighty roar and the full weight of her body, she cleaved the weapon with all her strength towards the eel's body. A horrendously powerful sonic BOOM blasted through the water, rippling through it visibly. Guy clutched his head in pain from the sound.

...But of course, Sienna's shot barely even hit such a larger target. The warping boom skidded across the eel's huge body, making it visibly twitch in pain--though not enough to turn away from Navina. Instead, the echo tore into what remained of the sinking dilapidated house, shattering almost every bit of construction that remained within it--likely including wherever that Spaghet fellow was huddled up.

Navina had just stabbed this giant creature in the face. Her first instinct was to get out of the way, and thus she did so. She realized how disgustingly slow her armor was making her, but luckily she was able to grab onto the side of the eel before it snapped at her after the sonic boom that upset it, upset her, and managed to destroy more scenery. Spaghet felt like he was watching a horror movie. How did Navina handle this on a day to day basis? She latched herself on top of the eel as it began to descend below the water and as skin skirted just above the surface. Spaghet felt her exasperation, but he felt more excitement as she realized how much air she was able to get into her lungs before the eel descended below the surface of the water completely.

Spaghet was more horrified that he was still experiencing life through Navina's consciousness than the fact that he just witnessed his hideout being destroyed. The only thing he could think of was how horrifyingly mangled his body might be. Was he alive? He honestly wasn't sure the implications of the song he played. Could he remain in someone's thoughts if he died himself? Spaghet wished he had a mouth to scream out of. The uncertainty was ironically killing him more than the idea of his actual death. Either way he was glad he had someone else's emotions to distract himself with.
Navina was livid. Spaghet had no idea why she was angry outside of what he could only perceive as some sort of blood lust. He wished he could channel that sort of rage, but it wasn't him, wasn't his way of doing things. You couldn't focus on details when you were angry, or at the very least you couldn't focus on them and apply them back in a holistic manner. He was finding that out quite quickly, considering Navina was tunnel visioning in ways that he had never experienced himself doing, not even in combat. Maybe when he was fighting with some of his brothers, but never when he was physically fighting with them.

Meanwhile Navina was actually contributing. From what Spaghet could see, she was focusing her attention on making as many marks as possible on the top of the eel after grabbing her spare sword. She wasn't as controlled as some other guardsmen he had spied on observed, but she was also underwater. She also wasn't in the right state of mind either. Despite her tunnel vision she had noticed Sienna again in the water. Spaghet noticed the increase in the Gerudo's rage as soon as the outline of Sienna's Floormaster came into her murky view, but she hadn't been this upset about seeing just Guy earlier. They were both criminals, according to her words she believed they both deserved the same treatment, maybe not the same punishment, but absolutely the same amount of disdain. Spaghet continued to notice rage as the eel descended with Navina, but no amount of hope. Spaghet could only infer that she didn't expect the next couple of moments in her life to go very well.It was easy to focus on someone else's emotions and go into detail about them when the only thing you could thing about in regards to yourself was whether or not you were about to leave the physical realm.

Guy's mind was swarming with questions. Why was his sister such a bitch? Why was Navina so crazy? Why was Spaghet so pathetic? Why did he ever even both to look for Navina's sister--who he now was almost completely sure was a fabrication? Why did he let Sienna manhandle his precious Cane of Echoes?

As Guy reached for his sword, he wondered--perhaps most of all--why was he getting involved in a fight with an eel so large it could twitch and cause a tsunami? He didn't want to save Navina. He didn't need to help Sienna. He didn't care what happened to Spaghet. There wasn't even a bounty on the monster's head, nor any kind of treasure guarded by the beast. Guy's legs were drawn together, and his trousers transformed magically into that freaky fish fin he found rather revolting. Maybe he had been gotten too accustomed to killing things. Perhaps he just wanted a story to tell the next time he got drunk. The only thing Guy knew for certain about the present situation was that he was going to kill that damn eel.

Like a bolt from a crossbow, Guy abruptly shot through the water at eerily high speed—so fast he could barely even keep his bearing, as the eerie feel of cold water rushed across his face. Even Sienna was slightly stunned to see a Deku Scrub literally swimming like a fish.

Not one to be shown up, Sienna tore through the water with another heavy swing, launching a huge boom through the sea and striking solidly into the colossal serpent’s slippery hide with a dull thud. The force of the impact was so great the eel’s body bent inwards from the strike, only to abruptly bounce back into place… like some kind of slick bubble. Sienna immediately realized blunt force wouldn’t work. She needed to get closer. With a sharp kick to her floormaster, she spurred the beast on forward, desperately hoping to reach close enough to stab the damn thing.

Meanwhile, Guy had already slipped around to the far side of the beast—using it as cover against his sister’s reckless attacks—as his blade forcefully and violently cleaved into the monster’s thick, rubbery flesh. Both he and Navina clutched to different spots on the monster’s body--loosing wild, frantic cuts into the hide. This creature’s skin—or scales, or whatever, Guy couldn’t even tell—was unimaginably thick, but after what seemed like a dozen cuts to the same spot, a blue fluid finally gushed forward into the sea. A warbling cry echoed from the monster’s gullet as two piercing wounds simultaneously sprout up on different parts of its body.

The entire form thrashed and shook wildly, throwing Guy off its ass and Navina off its neck. Rows of the nightmare eel’s hands bat furiously at both of them—and before Guy realized it his sword was knock clear out of his hand, and he was ducking pathetically behind his shield.

…Meanwhile, Sienna was at least generous enough to catch Guy’s sword with her Magnet Gloves.

Part of him wanted to help... but all of him knew how useless he was in a fight like this. Besides, Spaghet wasn't really ready to figure out whether or not he was alive and how disfigured his body was. Navina wasn't dying and he would rather like to continue feel a lack of pain. That was always preferable. To be fair, he wasn't sure if he was dying, but frankly he didn't want to find out. He was also afraid of not finding out. So he was just going to continue watching the fight through Navina's eyes and delay making a decision about the situation. That seemed fine. Nothing wrong with that.

Navina was thrown off of the creature just in time to let go of the last bit of air she was breathing. Drowning, this was fun. This was a fun experience. Spaghet was done. He was done decision made. Navina's consciousness was too much at this point. Might as well experience bleeding out and crushed bones than a lack of air.

Surprisingly, as Spaghet returned to his own consciousness he was happy to find that he was not made of broken bones and his lungs were not collapsed. He was in fact surprised he returned to his consciousness at all. He gripped at his intact face and thanked the Goddesses. Unfortunately he looked towards a column that had fallen just inches from his body and on top of his violin. He began to shake realizing how close of a call that was, not even caring that his instrument was destroyed. He would get another one. You can't .. really get another face.

Navina splashed to the surface, unknown to her she was free of Spaghet's presence in her head. She was only aware of the air filling into her lungs and how desperate she was to breathe it. She glanced down at the murky water, seeing nothing but some shadows. Without a second thought she took a gulp of air and dove down again, doing her best to swim down but realizing she probably wasn't even going to make it down to the creature before she needed to breathe. Dammit.

Sienna wanted to mock Guy about his pathetic toothpick of a sword, but of course all that came out of her face was inaudible bubbles. Seriously, though, she swore she breaded butter with blades bigger than this. If she had teeth she would probably use a thicker toothpick than this scrawny little sword. If she--

Meanwhile Guy was without his primary weapon. He swam backward out of the swatting hands, and in lieu of no better weapons, he forced to draw throwing knives. With his shield still braced in his left hand, three blades were held in his right fist, emerging from between his fingers not unlike claws. He darted after the eel, narrowly weaving away from the hands. Handling this damn fin was still rather difficult but it offered enough speed at least to swirl around the eel one more time. The monster was obviously in panic mode--it wasn't just going to sit still and let him slash it in one spot another dozen times. No, he needed some kind of weak spot. This entire dozens-of-feet-long body seemed smooth and slick, covered with that insanely thick skin...

...Except for that tiny, freaky, Hylian-sized face. Seeing no other options, Guy jetted through the water towards the monster's only apparent weakness. Just as he launched towards it, blades at the ready, he felt those grotesque bony hands clasp hold of his body and his fin. They were clenching, clawing, grasping--an utterly gross sensation, he could feel their nails digging in almost instantly. In a panic, Guy abruptl propelled forward--the monster's hands peeled off a layer of skin, just before Guy's fist and three knives brutally smashed right into the monster's grotesque face. He ripped his claw-hand through its eyes and lips, before finally warping his fin back into feet, and kicking forcefully off the monster's tiny mouth.

Breathing hard--fuck it felt weird breathing water--Guy was relieved to see the gigantic body no longer moving. It seemed that was its weakness, after all. Judging from the look on Sienna's face, she was more than a bit annoyed she didn't rip that thing's face off herself. Even so, she was still holding Guy's cane and sword. After regrouping upon Sienna's floormaster, both Denzritas returned to the surface a short while later.

"Okay so," Guy began shortly, "Navina, why the fuck did you think it was a good idea to attack that thing--and more importantly, why the fuck did I finish that battle for you? You were lying about your sister too, weren't you?"

Sienna scowled disdainfully at the Moblin-like creature, seemingly disgusted at the fact it yet lived.

Spaghet managed to crawl out of the dilapidated structure. He emerged to see that the creature had been defeated and the group was engaged in conversation. Catching Guy's question he whipped his attention over towards Navina.

"... my sister, that was Yettin's claim at first, not mine," she said, as if absolving herself of the original lie could change how she went along with it anyways. Did the moblin know she would? If she was being fully honest, and at this point she might as well be, part of her was excited when she found herself stuck with an opportunity to stalk with these two scrubs action's openly under the guise of a search. Besides, she probably would have just stalked them after she pretended to part ways if it wasn't for Spaghet's lie. Maybe Yettin knew that and didn't want to be stuck trailing murderers for however long for... well, she didn't get that far in her hypothetical plan. She also knew addressing the moblin would spark his mouth enough that maybe Guy would forget about the monster she had antagonized.

"-- I only claimed it because... because w-what were y-you going to do Miss Navina?!" He shouted at the group from his dry ledge. "You were a-absolutely about to break your probation. B-Because if I hadn't been there I'm q-quite certain that you would have attempted to handcuff the two of them. I-I'm actually quite sure as soon as we disengaged and we were all distracted you were going to have your Floormaster try to grab one." She wasn't going to deny it. She might've.

".. a-and if you were smart enough not to do that, I'm certain I would have been stuck trailing these two for weeks because you absolutely r-refuse to sign what you need to sign! I-If you... ... If you would just stop being so stubborn I wouldn't even be here stuck in this mess!" He stomped his foot, angry at the woman. To be fair it was the most amount of backbone he had shown all day, but then again he hadn't really shown much. He paused. Someone was probably going to blame him as the root cause for getting them all into this. (even if it wasn't his fault). But it was his lie. Shit.

"... ... S-she can't arrest you. S-she never could," Spaghet said quickly, addressing the two scrubs in the water but always darting his eyes back to Navina. He needed to divert attention. "She was here to see her family.. but they're all safe... and to why Navina didn't answer the first part of your question, it could be because she lost what was allowing her to breathe underwater and didn't notice it before engaging with the creature. But," Spaghet sat down and put his head in his hands. Finally. "That's just my guess." He of course still made eye contact as he spoke, he wasn't that pathetic. Besides, he was saying important things, he just wanted to rest his chin comfortably somewhere for a moment. She shot a look towards Spaghet - how the hell did he know about that - and then she looked back towards Sienna and Guy. She didn't know what to say.

"Listen, I work with enough seemingly 'awful' people to know that not all people who do awful things are terrible. So maybe you'll help us get out of here on that basis," Spaghet said, refusing to be interrupted in a slightly agitating way. He could speak in front of kings and knights and for criminals. And at criminals. And more importantly he grew up in the Yettin household and knew how scream to get a bigger chunk of cow at dinner. He looked at Guy and then to...well...

"... if that isn't that case, I know enough genuinely awful people who would love to have this kind of leverage over a guard." Navina's face contorted. He was selling her out. Spaghet glanced again towards the Gerudo and frowned. "... especially one so.. hardworking." He probably wasn't helping. He wasn't helping. He absolutely wasn't helping. If he got out of here he promised to be the absolute nicest person to Navina to make up for this.. mostly out of fear of what she might do to him. He had a record of being dodgy around the law. Wiki stayed at his house sometimes. Navina was one to delve into people she hated. Born from fear Navina would grow the idea that Spaghet was the absolute kindest person in the world. He had just been in a bad mood. For the past month. Which... was actually not a lie at all. He had been nice to her, just not kind and warm in the way that would get someone to like you. Time to change that. Later.

"... You're free to leave us to clamber to the surface if you want. Or you're free to help us out. Whatever the motive behind that action might be, it's irrelevant. I don't care about motive right now. I'm perfectly able to admit when I need help, her less so. So I'm doing it for her. I'm not going to imply we have much power to stop you if you want to go, just do it quickly. Please," Spaghet said, He was eager to stop speaking, realizing all of the bridges he would have to rebuild later. Navina continued to tread water, despite her heavy breathing that was impossible to hide at this point. She was going to strangle Spaghet and no token that allowed him to breathe under water could save him.

With a heavy sigh, Guy looked around him. He had come here to loot, but everything loot-able had now sunk beneath the sea and was likely too water damaged. Just about the only things that would be worth be gemstones, and even if these poor bastards were rich enough to have any, they likely weren't stupid enough to leave them behind. If that wasn't all, the sister was a complete fabrication, and Navina was even less of a threat than he previously thought.

"WELL," Guy began, brazenly, "As always, Navina, it has been a swell experience. We agree on almost nothing, but you are always a pleasant sight in one or two ways. Spaghet, you disappoint me as a Yettin and as a living person. I sort of hope Navina kills you, because she definitely could."

"I could," Sienna interjected. With a step forward, she used her free hand to slowly pull her wakizash from its scabbard.

"Yes, but," turning to his sister, Guy made his best attempt to be convincing, "Would that really satisfy you?"

The woman paused, glanced at the likely-quivering pile of Moblin before her. He would likely make horrible screams and squeals, beg for his life, and all that wonderful clamor. Perhaps the only thing more pleasing was what she thought to be the very real possibility that if left to their own devices, that Gerudo woman would slaughter the loser instead. She certainly wouldn't do it as well--but the high-and-mighty Navina falling into dark corruption... That thought was exquisite, in her mind.

"Let us... leave," she said, sheathing the blade. Looking towards Navina, she added, "You too can create the black hand. It can get you out of here. Do me a favor, though, and dispose of the trash before you go."

With that said, Sienna returned to her steed, and Guy hopped along behind her. He gave a casual salute to their disdainful compatriots, and clambered the fuck out of there.

...

A while later, the Denzrita siblings were quietly scuffling through the remains of a city on handback. Sienna was deep in thought as usual, only to suddenly remember, "Found these, by the way." Uncrossing her arms for a moment, she placed a small, sopping-wet pouch in Guy's waiting hand.

"You're an angel," Guy smiled. It was a bag full of black rupees--something he had been hoping to find for ages. Who would have thought they'd be at the bottom of the sea. "An angel of death, perhaps, but I'll take what I can."

At least that whole endeavor wasn't for nothing.

Spaghet began to shake slightly as Guy spoke, his lips curling inward. He bit down on them slightly in an effort not to cry speak ill to this man. He just... this scrub just had no idea what he was saying. There was no way this Deku Scrub could understand his family dynamics or what worth he added to the world. He... he did add something worthwhile to the world.. right?

Spaghet had no time to contemplate whether or not his existence was wasted as his body quickly activated his sympathetic nervous system at the sight of an unsheathed blade. He was about ready to bolt until the other scrub quieted down his sister. Spaghet clutched at his chest as he struggled to regain a steady breathing rhythm. His shakes were even worse now.

"Trash?!" Navina spat as she hoisted herself from the water, taking the time that the group was talking to swim over to shore. "I-If I were to get rid of trash it would be y--" She stopped her sentence, realizing that the pair were already on their way. With no wanted criminals in sight, she whipped her attention to Spaghet. The moblin felt the same chemicals release in his head and he felt lightheaded. His entire body began to quake as the Gerudo woman stomped towards him, her hands balled into fists. The moblin stepped back. He didn't want to die today. He thought Navina was a genuinely good person, there was no way she would kill him, right?! As she approached, Spaghet's mind raced. He was already brought into such a panic just moments before, this was too much. He was going to faint. No, he was fainting.

Navina stopped her approach as the moblin passed out onto the ground. She blinked. Guy was right. The man really was sort of pathetic. She pursed her lips. Part of her even felt bad for putting him through... whatever this was. Din Dammit. She continued walking and sighed, feeling her anger slip away as she crouched beside the unconscious man. She scooped him up and carefully slung him over her shoulder.

The Gerudo whistled, summoned Benny, and resigned her first priority to getting out of this place.