Just Guys Being Dudes Somewhere in Northern Hyrule, it’s a hot spring adventure(?) Will likely be a little gay, shirts will be stolen, they might end up as temporary hot spring attendants, etc. etc. Cast & Rewards: Ruairi (Nameless), 1/2/5: One(1) Frilly, Stolen Shirt + 50 rupees Lamont (Squishy), 1/4/4: A Song? A Whistle? + 50 rupees ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- “We’ll get you, you worthless cur!” “We’ll string ye up by yer own innards if ye don’t hand over the coin NOW.” “Get him lads!” From a distance, someone might have considered it some kind of ramshackle parade. But anyone with eyes and ears would soon realise that the little guy in front was definitely not part of the group running after him with weapons drawn. It had started like most evenings on land, Lamont had paused at a questionable tavern, spent the evening drinking questionable booze in even more questionable company, tricked them into some drunken bets and card games, won at said card game- okay, maybe cheated a little, but hey, life wasn’t fair right? But apparently cheating a bandit gang out of all their rupees meant courting certain violent death. “I already told you, I’ll make it up to you! Please stop chasing me with swords and other pointy things!!” But the men- and woman- were having none of it, and had chased him out of the woods and down the road screaming bloody vengeance and more unpleasant things. So far, Lamont had been able to outrun them, but his legs were starting to really hurt. And so he had been running, for quite a while, down and down the road. Blessed Nayru, he thought, up ahead was an inn. And inns meant hiding places. Or in this case at least something to disappear behind and stay out of their sight until they got tired and found some other poor sod to take their frustrations out on. Were they catching their breaths behind him? He listened for a moment. Yes, good. Now was his chance to escape. He put in a last sprint, rounding the building to get out of sight. He let out a long, shaky breath, leaning heavily against a barrel. But his relief was short-lived. Not much later, he heard the angry voices again, much closer this time. Seems like he wasn’t out of the proverbial woods yet. But where could he hide... There! A wagon, unguarded from the looks of it. Lamont turned his head right and left, scanning for anyone that might spot him and rat him out later. No… the coast was clear. With a dash he was across the yard, disappearing under the wagon’s canvas top. Finally, safety. For now.
The day had passed quicker than Ruairi had assumed, the sun already having set. He had wasted too much time in the town instead of getting out and onto the road already, and by now, anyone sane would most likely decide to settle in for the night and head out tomorrow. But he had really been looking forward to his next destination – and it was so close, too! He was sure he could make it if he hurried… Well, made Daffodil hurry, and actually get there and be able to enjoy himself for a while before going to sleep. That had been his plan for the day. He really, really didn't want to have to change his plans! The Rito really had to hurry. He had retreated into his wagon for a quick change of clothes, something better fitting for the dusty roads and the colder air without the sun. Of course, picking clothes never was easy, not for Ruairi. The closet was probably the largest and heaviest item in the small wagon, and the only thing he considered being absolutely essential. He had already kicked the clothes he had worn aside, now in piles on the carpet covering the wooden floor, as he rummaged through the closet's many potential outfits. Choosing… Was always difficult. At first he hadn't even noticed the small sound coming from the door to his forbidden boudoir, but eventually the click registered. Someone had opened the door, a realization that crept up Ruairi's back and caused his feathers to stand up. Someone was there, he could tell, before he even turned to look at the intruder. There the Rito was, standing in the middle of the wagon wearing nothing but his high-rising, shaping underwear, in front of his bed alcove. He was practically framed by the shape of the wagon and the curtains behind him, and the various kitchen pantries in the front between him and the door. A lantern near him on his makeshift vanity gave the whole room a moody lighting, but did nothing to hide Ruairi's shape – in fact, perhaps it only accentuated it and made him stand out in the relative darkness as it danced and caressed his body's natural shapes. There was the faint scent of perfume lingering in the air, perhaps adding to the mystical flair of the darker insides that still had plenty of color to them in the form of smaller details painted on the wood or sewn to the various decorative fabrics covering most of the surfaces. It was not just any old traveler's wagon, that much was certain. Ruairi kept staring. There was mostly surprise on his face, caught in the middle of something by a strange man he had never seen before. Then, there was some visible confusion, his mouth opening as it tried to find words or even basic sounds. It didn't seem like he quite knew if he should be very angry or afraid yet. "What," was the best he could come up with in such short time, not even really a question but more of an exclamation of pure surprise. Luckily it was not a scream, but that could follow shortly…
Instead, it was Lamont who screamed. “ACK!” It was a gir- no, not a girl. A boy? “You’re a boy…? Uh, I mean- Please don’t scream!” He put his hands up in a half hush-gesture and half ‘I’m no threat’, despite having just literally barged into what appeared to be someone’s home. Our boudoir, now that he had a better look at it. His eyes drifted back to the girl- boy- person in front of him, still staring at him. “I’m uh, hiding.” He listened for a moment. Did he imagine it, or did he hear the bandits outside? “I’m very sorry for breaking into your house! At least I think it’s a house... I know it’s very sudden, but… can I hide here? Just for a bit? I’ll, um, look away while you… do what you were doing...” He trailed off awkwardly, only now realising what the Rito was- or wasn't wearing. Lamont looked away, the colour in his cheeks luckily obscured by the moody lighting.
Ruairi opened his mouth again, his brow furrowed, but he couldn't really find anything to say. At least he didn't scream – the weird man had pretty much already done that himself. Was this a fan? A creepy one hoping to snatch something of his while he was gone – or just some town pervert wanting to do the same when he saw what he thought was an easy target? Slowly, the Rito reached for his tunic, holding it in front of him to have at least some kind of cover – assuming the stranger's eyes didn't burn a hole in the cloth, seeing how intense his gaze was every time he looked back in his direction. He didn't know if he should believe the man's story. It felt a bit frantic – the man felt frantic. Ruairi exhaled through his nostrils in a loud huff. "Fine, fine. Whatever. You'll owe me for this, though," he scoffed, returning back to getting clothed, occasionally glancing towards the man to make sure he wasn't trying to do something, "Pervert." Unfortunately for the poor stranger stuck in this uncomfortable situation, getting dressed was not a very fast process, the Rito still taking his sweet time picking what he wanted to wear, throwing some options on the bed. Ruairi joined them soon too, taking a seat as he started to gather up the leg of a pair of tights before rolling it over his leg.
“What?” Lamont blinked. “You’re letting me stay? T-thank you! I’ll repay you… somehow, I promise!” But then the Rito finished his sentence. “Oi, I’m not a pervert! I couldn’t have known you were getting dressed while I… broke into your house. Y’know.” He shrugged awkwardly, realising he was still looking at the other. Lamont turned around, taking a seat on the ground and inspecting the canvas wall before him. Behind him, he heard the Rito rummage around, presumably still picking out clothes. Was it normal to take that long to pick an outfit? Not that Lamont'd know, never having owned more than two sets of clothing at the same time. “So...” Lamont started, trying to break the awkward silence. “Is this your house?” He started to turn his head, before remembering that was exactly what he said he wouldn’t do, and went back to looking at the wall. “Actually, what’s your name?”
The way one of Ruairi's eyebrows was raised as he looked at the intruder try to make himself sound like less of a creep made it quite obvious that he wasn't buying it. No, he was pretty sure the other man wasn't even able to make himself believe in such a thinly veiled lie that sounded more and more absurd the longer he went on. The Rito's gaze was quite unimpressed as he stared at the man, pulling one leg of his tights all the way through without breaking eye contact while seated on the bed. "Right. Just a completely normal stranger breaking into someone's house. You didn't even knock. You know what kind of people don't knock? The kind that want to catch someone in the middle of something," Ruairi made sure to berate the man – maybe that would make him think twice about barging into someone's home uninvited like this, and someone else would be spared the shock. The Rito hopped up, tugging the waist of the tights up over his hips – with a few little hops, as it seemed that they were a bit snug in that area – and fastened them once they were in their place. He eventually settled on a looser shirt with a sleeveless tunic on top, with the waist cinched with the help of a decorative belt so his shape wasn't completely eaten up by the fabric. Ruairi posed in front of the mirror hung up on the door of his closet, taking notes of how it looked from different angles. Slim legs, loose and baggy top… It was pretty cute. The layers would keep him warm, and the tights were thick. It should be fine. He stepped into a pair of short boots with a loose fit to tie in with his top. "It's my house, yes," he replied, still taking a look at himself in the mirror. Yes, this would do for the trip. His hair and makeup still seemed fine – he'd have to touch up on everything after bathing anyway, so it was good enough. "Usually people who ask that question should introduce themselves first," Ruairi finally turned his gaze back towards the man – and even started to walk towards him. Well, towards the door behind him, honestly, but the stranger was in the way. "Ruairi. I am on a strict schedule here, so I need to get going. I can let you stay inside if you promise to not look for my dirty laundry."
Lamont frowned at the accusations. Of course, he had no right to speak since he did barge into someone’s private home. But did the Rito really have to make it such a big deal…? “I told you, I’m hiding! I’m not a pervert, I didn’t know you were getting dressed!” Lamont tossed back, back still turned to the other. “Who even gets dressed at the end of the day?” He sighed, leaning his chin on his hand, still looking at the wall. Perhaps he should have taken his chances with the bandits. The Rito’s rebuke seemed to make his shoulders hang even more. But the footsteps jolted him from his sullen silence, and he dared to look over his shoulder, turning around when he saw that Ruari had finally finished getting dressed. “Ruairi, huh. I’m Lamont. And don’t worry, I won’t-” He added, sheepishly, but a sudden noise next to the wagon startled him into silence. The voices again. Muffled, but clearly angry. “That’s them. The ones I’m hiding from… I may or may not have ch- er, beaten them at a card game, and now they’re out for blood.” Lamont grimaced. “Say, you said you were going somewhere? Can I come with? I just need to get away from them, I’ll be out of here-” He said, gesturing at the wagon around them. “as soon as I can.”
Ruairi stopped in front of the stranger in his wagon, leaning in closer – too close, actually, his eyes inspecting this newcomer in very great detail now that they were face to face. The man seemed so scared of all the voices he could hear outside, and the Rito couldn't help but raise an eyebrow when he got some kind of an explanation as to why these people were after the guy. This… Lamont. Figures it was something like that… "Are you saying you were wishing that I were asleep, then? Completely unaware and helpless?" Ruairi's voice was husky and low as he spoke, and he had brought his hand up to cover his own mouth with his fingers – but it didn't seem like he could quite hide the smirk behind. Clearly he had started to enjoy teasing this man, using his own words against him. The stranger was very teasable, he had found, quick to react and very defensive. Buuut he also didn't want to make Lamont so angry he would decide to rush outside and get beaten to death, so he dug through his pockets to give him something else to think about before he managed to get too upset. The Rito pulled a folded piece of paper that he had moved to his new set of clothes for safekeeping after changing, unfolding it to reveal a flier of sorts. "Tadaah! A nearby hot spring has an out of season special deal for cheap entry, open all night," he spoke in a singsongy tone as he presented this nugget of information, full of pride.
Pride that was met with a blank stare. Hot springs...? It took Lamont a moment to remember what hot springs even were, staring at the paper. Baths. Fancy baths, the kind were smelly bandits would likely be turned away from, just like the big bathhouse in Darunia. Lamont nodded slowly, the gears in his mind starting to turn. That was a good place to lay low for a few days, relax, shake the bandits off his trail and most importantly: take a bath. He sniffed. He could do with one. "Alright, let's go! The sooner we're out of here, the better." It was hard to read the flyer in the dim light of sunset, but cheap entry sounded good. Perhaps there was a way Lamont could even salvage this whole situation, if only a little. "Hey, how about I pay for your entry? In return for letting me hide here? ...And to make up for breaking into your house." He waited for Ruari's reply, before dropping his bag next to the bed and taking a seat on the foot of it. As long as those bandits were still around, it was best he did not show his face outside of the wagon. "So... ready when you are!"
Ruairi held the flyer in front of Lamont, not budging from his presentation even though he was getting rather lukewarm response. Though he was getting worried that maybe it wasn't sinking, that persona of his that would perform on the stage would always stick to the finish and go through with it, no matter what. He just had to hope that his own enthusiasm was infectious enough to leak into the rest of the audience and do… Something! Even in this case it seemed to work. There was some excitement coming from Lamont, and Ruairi couldn't help but smile in satisfaction when the man agreed to join – and even sounded happy about it! And better yet, it seemed his teasing had softened this weirdo enough for Lamont to even offer to pay his entry fee! Now that was music to the Rito's ears, and he folded up the flyer with a rather wide, satisfied smile. "Ohoho? So you do have some manners! I like that. Yes, you may pay. I should have let more perverts into my wagon if it means I'm getting something out of it," Ruairi's tone just oozed smugness, and he couldn't help but to tease Lamont just a little bit more… But by now, it seemed like he wasn't really upset by what had happened. Perhaps he didn't even mean it anymore. But a free bath and a soak in the hot springs was the best thing he had gotten in a while! Not wanting to waste more time, Ruairi hopped out of the wagon and circled back to the front. He could see some strangers lurking outside, but he clearly did not match whoever they were looking for – if these were the ones hunting Lamont. Their eyes did meet for a moment, but the Rito didn't make any signs about being connected as he casually strolled up to the front of the wagon to get Daffodil, his ox, ready to pull. With some last minute adjustments, he hopped on the driver's seat and prodded the ox to move. Slowly but surely, the wagon started to move down the street, out of the town… Once they had gotten far enough for his liking, he started to knock on the small window behind him. What had seemed like the back of the wagon was in reality the front now that it was moving, and the bed was situated right in front of the window that could be opened from the inside.
"...what? I-I told you, I'm not A PERVERT!" Lamont sat down with a huff. He couldn't say the Rito was entirely in the wrong, but did he really have to keep rubbing it in, when it was all an accident? But at least Ruairi had agreed to take him out of town, that was something to be grateful for. As the wagon slowly started to move, Lamont cast another look around the interior. This wasn't the most daring escape he'd ever made, but there was something to be said about the comfort of it... He'd almost dozed off by the time Ruairi knocked on the window, lulled to sleep by the gentle swaying of the wagon as it rolled along the road. Lamont rolled his shoulders, taking a moment to stretch his arms before opening the window and leaning outside. The sun was almost all the way down now, only a low red glow remained on the horizon. A soft breeze stirred his hair, a welcome breath of fresh air after the stuffiness of the wagon. The road stretched on, winding through the hills in front of them before bending off towards the mountains where the springs presumably were. Lamont took it all in for a moment, enjoying the tranquil view. Then, he turned his attention to Ruairi. "How'd you end up at the inn, back there? You're a traveller?"
Ruairi kept his eyes on the road, though he kept knocking rhythmically, his knuckle tapping against the window. He kept it up until Lamont understood what he was getting at and actually opened the window with its telltale creak. He was seated comfortably on a little cushion, the ox's colorful reins in his hands. It didn't seem like he was doing much in the way of directing and the ox was so used to pulling the wagon it already knew to follow the road. "Well, I haven't seen too many people who aren't travelers with a wagon like mine. Not much use for it if you already have settled somewhere, you know?" Ruairi hummed at the question, feeling like the answer to it was more obvious than Lamont actually thought. A little room like his in a building would be much easier to make and cheaper to buy – not that he ever had to buy his wagon, himself… "I had to stop for food. I don't care for cooking, so if I have the opportunity to stop by a proper kitchen after being on the road and grab myself a bite, I'll take it. I just ended up taking too long," the Rito continued, his lips turning pouty and his brow furrowing – though this conversation was a lot more normal compared to all the teasing poor Lamont had gotten inside. The sun had already almost set, and they still had some time to go. Their light was disappearing fast. Luckily, their destination wasn't too far out, but it still was a bit worrisome to Ruairi. The dirt crackled and crunched underneath the wagon wheels, filling the silence. "And you? You cheat at cards often?"
“Hmm, I suppose. I haven’t met that many people who live in a wagon. Isn’t there normally a whole caravan of them? Or do you travel alone?” Lamont leant on the windowsill, eyes flicking between Ruairi and the horizon. Living in a house on wheels didn’t seem too different from living on a ship, if maybe less at the mercy of the wind and water. But you still had to pack away anything that could roll around, he noted idly as the path started to slope upwards, winding up into the foothills. “Eh, cheat!? I didn’t-” Lamont caught himself, sighing. “Only if I’m sure I won’t get caught. And if I’m playing for money, I suppose.” He shrugged. “If they’re gambling money then they’re prepared to lose it, right?” He squinted. Was that a light up ahead, on the mountainside?
Ruairi had the smuggest smirk on his face as the man tried to claim he didn't cheat, but even he couldn't make himself believe that lie. It was obvious by now, based on what Lamont had already told him – and unfortunately for the man, Ruairi had both noticed and found much enjoyment in teasing him whenever he could. "Sounds like your 'sure' isn't good enough," he grinned, just rubbing salt in the wound so Lamont could feel as dumb as his actions surely had been in this situation. The Rito's shoulders were shaking as he tried to stifle his laughter, though some chuckles did manage to escape. Clearly he was having too much fun with this. Luckily for Lamont, Ruairi did return back to the previous topic after getting his fix. "I don't know if you really need a wagon to be a part of a larger caravan. I suppose those of us who live on the road often stick together. I used to live with a larger group, too, but it's time for my solo career to take off, don't you think?" As the sun descended, the wagon climbed. The road had started to grow steeper now, though that was just a sign of them going in the right direction. They did have to go up! Luckily the road was wide enough for wagons to easily fit, and the climb wasn't so steep that Daffodil had trouble going forward. It was getting dark though. Ruairi already thought that maybe they should light a lantern, but that thought was soon abandoned. The road ahead was lit by small candles – that seemed like they were at the end of their lifespan, but they were enough for them. The landscape had gotten quite mountainous now, steep rocky cliffs to their side as the wagon kept going up the winding path. A path that soon ended in a larger clearing, forcing Ruairi to bring the wagon to a stop and direct his gaze upwards. A set of stony steps led up ahead to what seemed like a small building, the glow of candles and lanterns revealing it in the darkness. They weren't alone, either: what must have been the previous patrons after their bath and soak were walking down the stairs to leave. Looked like the right place, then. The Rito hopped down and tied the ox down before walking to the other side, coming inside. He retrieved a few towels and toiletries, and waved at Lamont to follow. They were going to have to cover the rest of the way up on foot, but luckily the climb wasn't too bad – even if the steps were quite narrow and they had to dodge some people coming down their way. A small, unassuming building waited for them at the end, blocking their path unless they went through and paid. Luckily, the windows were still lit – they weren't too late, yet. Ruairi was happy about that. By the time they got inside, it seemed like most of those who had taken advantage of the deal were already done, either having left or being in the process of leaving. That meant they probably had the whole place to themselves! The Rito walked to the counter like he owned the place and made Lamont pay like he had promised to, before sauntering over to the changing room. "Aah, finally," Ruairi sighed like the journey had been particularly long and taxing as he sat on a wooden bench in front of some little baskets for their clothes and pulled off his boots. He seemed to stop at that for a while and just enjoyed taking in the atmosphere before getting up and starting to undress. Lamont was about to get another dose of even more naked bird person this time around, but at least the Rito didn't seem upset this time around. He had no shame, after all. "It's been ages since I've had hot water!" Ruairi exclaimed as he started to pull off the pins holding his hair in its shape, thick, curled locks falling to his shoulders.
Lamont took his time to look around before walking in. So this was one of those “resorts”? It seemed fancy enough. He followed Ruairi to the counter, digging into his pocket for a moment, before fishing out enough rupees for their entry fees and a small tip. It never hurt to butter up the staff a little. And, it wasn’t his money, technically. Once inside, it seemed much like any bathhouse he’d visited before, if fancier than most of them. Lamont dropped himself on the bench next to the Rito. The Hylian stretched his arms and back, suppressing a yawn. Now was the perfect time for a hot bath. He looked up when Ruairi called out, getting another eyeful of the Rito- yep, definitely a man-, though this time Lamont managed to not get as flustered, only getting a slight tinge of red on his ears and cheeks. Bath or not, it was still a little awkward because they were kinda sorta strangers, right? At least this time it was Ruairi's own fault. The Hylian started taking off his things, haphazardly folding his clothes and dropping them in one of the baskets. Lamont watched Ruairi’s hair fall down his shoulders. He briefly considered untying his own hair, but the thought of having to sleep with wet hair… Instead, he twisted his ponytail up into a bun. Much easier. Then, lastly, he wrapped a towel around his hips. “Same.” Lamont nodded. “It’ll be a nice way to end the day, huh?” The Hylian put the basket with his clothes away, starting off towards the baths.
Ruairi grabbed a little basket filled with some soaps and sponges, along with a towel, before strutting out of the changing room. The next step obviously would be to wash themselves before heading in – but Lamont was already going too far, already almost to the entrance to the open air baths. The Rito cleared his throat, having stopped beside the entrance to the washroom. "Already so excited to see nude bathers? Aren't you forgetting something?" He called out with a grin – he seemed to have learned what made Lamont react, and surely that was a quick way to stop him, "Your body is as filthy as your mind. I don't think anyone else in there would appreciate it if you didn't at least try to scrub yourself before entering," Ruairi continued, chuckling as he disappeared into the room to the side. It was just a small, basic room with a stone floor and some heated tubs of water. There was an assortment of small buckets to use to grab some, and some little wooden stools to sit on while washing up. Ruairi wasted no time grabbing himself some hot water and sat on a stool, placing both his bucket and the little basket with supplies next to him. "Luckily for you, I brought some extra soap and a sponge. You didn't look like you had any," he informed Lamont, his back facing the other man as he started to lather his hair in some kind of a flowery scented liquid he poured onto his hand from a bottle, working it in. "I can give you the honor of washing my back."
"What? Hey now-!" It wasn't his fault that he'd never been to the fancy kind of bathhouse with multiple rooms for washing, and Lamont was about to protest as much when he figured it'd only give Ruairi more to sling back at him. Instead, he only grumbled under his breath. Time to head into the dedicated washing room, then. In the distance, he could hear the bell at the entrance ring. Seems like they weren't the only ones coming in for a late bath. In the other room, Lamont plopped himself down on a stool next to Ruairi. Sure enough, there were some extra pieces of soap in the basket, along with some cloths for cleaning and a sponge. “Thanks.” He said, taking a bucket of water and starting to royally slather on soap before scrubbing himself vigorously. So vigorously he didn’t hear the Rito’s last remark at first. Lamont put the sponge down, shooting Ruairi a confused look. “I’m not a deck swab, you know. Not anymore, at least.” Lamont started, put-off. “But I owe you for helping me out today.” He rinsed himself off first, no sense in sitting there covered in suds from head to toe. “Alright then…” A clean cloth was soaked in the hot water and wrung out. Lamont started at Ruairi’s shoulders. The Rito’s back was soft and unscarred. Definitely not a fighter, then. “So, what exactly is your… job? You mentioned travelling with a caravan before?”
Ruairi couldn't help but grin as Lamont had been thoroughly humbled as he took a seat next to him and started to wash himself. The Rito also lathered up his own hair well, making sure to use these moments where he had warm water to do a very thorough job. His back waited, however, unwashed while Lamont seemed to be putting his anger into scrubbing his skin raw. He had basically turned into a Hylian made of bubbles at this point – maybe Lamont really didn't know how much soap one had to use to get properly washed… "And I'm not a deck," he retorted to Lamont's protest about the back-washing, with a huff – though it was hard for him to keep a straight face. Seemed like he was teasing some more. Or perhaps Lamont eventually agreeing to washing his back was what softened him. "Yep. I'm practically a saint. So much you owe me," Ruairi practically purred as he shot the poor lad next to him a look only a very content cat toying with its prey could give. But he didn't want to push it too much. He allowed his special hair formula to work its magic while he got to cleaning the parts he could reach, waiting for Lamont to get his back. The warm, wet rag touching his back made him push into it, letting out a mhh as he got comfortable, sometimes leaning into the hand washing him, sometimes stretching to make sure it wouldn't miss a spot. It had been a while since he had gotten a good back scrub. "Oh, I didn't mention it, yet? Yees. I was raised in a traveling caravan. Troupe Girasole – perhaps you've heard of us? Well. Them. I am working on a solo career right now. I am practically a full-fledged opera singer." Not that he had actually been a part of any operas, yet.
