Rupee Spending: Total to Spend Originally: 100 Rupees + 35 Wisdom Based Rupees Gale Seeds x5 - 5x5=25 Blizzard - 45 Dins Burst - 40 Feather Fall - 20 Black Robe - 5 Final Rupee Count: 0 Name: Joshua Hidenski Age: 19 Gender: Male Race: Hylian Place of Origin: Northern Citizen PWC: Base: (1/2/1) Current:(1/4/2) Racial Abilities: Magic Proficiency Rupee Riches Treasures: Rupees: 50 Rupees Perishable: Gale Seeds x6 Magic Abilities: Blizzard Dins Burst Feather Fall Height: 6' 1" Weight: 140 lbs. Equipment: Family Staff (Wooden, Hand carved) A thick oaken staff, with a small blue crystal. Black Robes (Clothing, Magical) A thin, black robe, that helps regulate Joshua's body temperature, keeping him warm in cold climates, and warm in cold climates [No Defensive Properties] Enchanted Rupee Purse (Bag, Magical) A Rupee Purse that reminds the user with the contents of the purse at all times. Golden Locket (Memorabilia) A thin golden locket, given to Joshua by his parents. Sapphire Earring (Memorabilia, Magical) A basic stud earing, a reminder of when Joshua became a mage. Appearance: Joshua is a tall, lanky young male. He has light brown hair with a short streak of red above his left brow, and chocolate brown eyes, with light swirls of blue in the Iris, barely noticeable unless you're looking for them. Residence: Hyrule Castle Town - A quaint shack that he shares with his parents and sister. A small bedroom off the main room is where their parents sleep, while Joshua and Sandra have their own beds in the main room. A small wood burning stove is in the far corner, and a wash basin sits in a stand next to it. A small wooden table, one leg missing from an experiment gone wrong, replaced by a stack of rather large books. Pet: Slate A small grey wolf hound pup Joshua received for his 18th birthday from his parents. Backstory: Joshua was born, and raised in the noble district of Hyrule Castle Town, until the age of 15, when his parents fell out of favor with the noble class as healers and magical aides, after an incident that resulted in the death of a nobleman's son. At the age of 5, Joshua's sister, Sandra was born, and by the time she was 5, she had established herself as Joshua's best friend, and the two were rarely seperated. As Joshua's parents began teaching him the art of magic, and his studies became more and more time consuming and engrossing, he had less time to spend with Sandra, and she began associating more and more with the noble class children. After his parents dismissed him early one morning to attend to a noble's sick child, Joshua decided to find his sister, and spend some time with his best friend. As he explored the noble district, he stumbled upon a dark scene. A prominent nobles son, raping his young innocent sister, who laid bound and gagged, barely conscious in the darkened alley. Joshua felt anger coursing through his veins, and before he knew what had happened, he was standing over the boys broken body. Bones stuck out in odd places, and blood filled the alley, the smell stung his nose. As the boy slowly reached up, looking for mercy, Joshua struck out, once, twice, three times, and the boy went limp, his eyes fogged and dark. Joshua quickly untied his sister, and tried to carry her home, and change before anyone know of the deed he had committed, but guards quickly found them, and arrested both of them for murder. After a one-sided trial, where Joshua and Sandra, due to being children still, were unable to defend themselves. Joshua, Sandra, and his parents, were banned from ever working, living, or entering the noble district ever again, punishable by death. Joshua and his family packed all they could, and escaped into the Goron Slums, having been stripped of many of there possessions by guards as they left, and they quickly acquired a small shack from an elderly goron, who they were pretty sure was senile, thinking Joshua was a Korok, and Sandra was a Gerudo. As they grew accustomed to their new lifestyle, Joshua and Sandra explained what had happened that fateful day, and his parent explained the origins of his streak of red hair. At some point, it is unclear when, where, or how, a curse had been placed upon the Hidenski's family line, and if anyone performed an unforgivable crime, until the day they died, they would be visibly marked, no matter the context of said crime. Apparently, his ancestors had a running record of performing many of these crimes, seeing as magic had always been within their line, the line was cursed, and anytime a Hidenski committed a serious crime, the world knew it. Over time, the curse had fallen into rumor, and lies, as the Hidenski family had cleaned up their act. The mark Joshua bore would stay with him until death, and at the time of his death, if he died doing an admirable act, it would turn blue, if he died in a crime, it would remain red, if he slowly petered away and died, it would return to his natural hair color. With this new knowledge at his disposal, Joshua swore that he would restore his families honor, even until his death. He completed his training under his parents watchful eye, and on his 19th birthday, he packed up his few belongings, bid his family farewell, and left his home. As he left, he heard a few muffled shouts of shock and horror, and a bright flash emitted from the windows, and he knew Sandra was attempting to harness her magical abilities herself, unsuccessfully. Joshua felt a smile tug at the corners of his mouth, and he hoisted his pack onto his belt, felt the jingle of rupees in his purse, a gift that his parents had been saving since his crime, and left the slums, for the first time in three long years.
Re: Joshua Hidenski (Complete) Alright, there are a few things that I would like you to look over, before I can pass this. Must Be Fixed: -"Black Robes" effect wording must be changed; as it reads, it makes it seem as if you could use the robes to protect against fire and ice attacks, or at least have Joshua's body affected by their temperatures. The wording should probably be something like this: "Joshua's Black Robes serve as all purpose clothing, protecting him fairly cold or hot temperatures, using magic to regulate his body's temperature. However, this robe doesn't protect against fire, ice, or extremes of either temperature." Additionally, to be begin with an item with a magical effect, you must actually pay a few rupees; although the effects are minor, these kinds of items are treated similarly to treasures. I wouldn't expect you to have to pay for the effect on the Rupee Purse, but the Black Robes might cost around 5 or so rupees. You may want to check this with Bitoko. Suggestions: -You should list the price of the treasures you are beginning with, just above your profile or somewhere the grader will see them; it saves them the hassle of having to look up prices in the Library of Treasures. -You may want to elaborate on your Backstory a little more. A few things that come up are: ---Joshua's parents are apparently fair practitioners of magic, but apparently cannot find work better than serving the nobility. ---How did Joshua get his red streak of hair? It just seems to have... happened. A better explanation, such as his magic ingraining the blood of those he killed into that lock of hair, or something like that. ---Joshua was banished, yet still continued training under his parents; how was this possible if he was banished? ---Finally, if Joshua's parents have a magic academy, why are they serving nobility? If Joshua was their only student, you may want to reword it as "Joshua's tutelage under his parents came to an end," or something like that. Obviously the suggestions are only suggestions; but you will have to fix the Black Robes thing before this can be passed.
