Courage, Mushrooms, and a Shovel

Guy had been mistaken. Wiki was... definitely even more insane than the average Scrub. She was probably going to try to murder him at some point. Against his better judgement, he tried not to read the endless chicken scratch of glowing ink that lined the cramped walls. He was starting to think fan-fiction about Buzzari or Sienna could actually be true, and he began to fear such literature could be even worse than what Wiki might have dreamed up in this place. Was Wiki the one who screamed a minute ago about some one-eyed bitch? He was honestly afraid to ask. He didn't want to ask. This was all reminding him of the one time he stepped into Sienna's room--which was an even more horrifying experience. They were all mad, crazy, and there was nothing he could--

"...Shit," Guy mumbled. If they were all mad, then... didn't that make him the insane one? Dealling with his apparent insanity would have to come later, though. In the time being, he realized he just had to come up with a legitimate reason why he just cursed. "I, uh... I dislike cramped spaces." Truth.

This was all too bizarre of an experience. His eyes averted sharply, "I'm also... pretty sure you don't want me to share cat meat with you." Maybe he just hadn't actually been in anyone's home in too long--Nayru knows he didn't have one--but this was too much. As soon as he was about to move towards the apparent exit, Wiki was already leading him out. Thankfully.

As his boots hit grass again, he couldn't help but clutch at his chest, breathing hard. He momentarily wondered if he was having a heart attack. Maybe it was bringing up repressed memories of Sienna or his family. He didn't really want to think about it. Maybe he was insane, after all, and didn't want to admit it to himself. As Guy took several more lungfuls of fresh air, he leaned back, and cleared his head. He couldn't help but feel he needed a little... relief...

After sliding his hand into his pouch, he stealth-fully scooped out a bit of a red-capped mushroom, and slid it into his gullet. Maybe Wiki would notice. Maybe not. He felt his nerves quickly unwinding, the fog in his head dissipating. Suddenly, it didn't really matter if he was insane--or if Wiki was--or anyone was. How he labeled it wouldn't make a difference. He already knew he was a weird Scrub, and--really--what did he expect out of the abode of Wikitoria Levett? At least he didn't actually have to eat the cat.

A long, soft sigh of relief washed out of him. He only now realized it had been a few days since he'd gotten a good fix. No wonder he was so high-strung. Looking to Wiki, he offered a diluted smirk, "You were right. Let's get going."

Up ahead, the massive, imposing face of the structure loomed over them, almost as if it was watching the two Deku Scrubs... appraising them, somehow. As Guy begin to wonder if those were windows or eyes, he made a mental note to take a smaller bite out of the mushroom next time. While he was lost in thought, he didn't seem to notice the two awfully pillar-like Beamos that waited on either side of the entrance up ahead...

Guy was right about one thing: Wiki definitely didn't want to share her dinner with him. Cats hardly had any meat on their bones anyways, albeit the one she had caught from the village was pretty fat... Wiki averted her eyes from what she assumed was a psychically exerted Guy, mostly out of second hand embarrassment. Sheesh, even Wiki wasn't even that tired after crawling through the caves. Weird..

Her head only whipped towards him at his words - You were right. Why would Guy admit to her face that Wiki was right all along? He knew better. Wiki knew him better. Something was seriously wrong here. She watched him, carefully. Was he planning on stabbing her in the back when she wasn't looking? This island would be the perfect place to stash a body, it was remote enough. She scratched at her leaves, maybe Guy was more bloodthirsty and insane than she had previously thought. He was Sienna's brother, and crazy doesn't usually fall too far from the tree. Maybe his newly acquired calm demeanor was just the calm before he stabbed her forty times in the throat.

She walked behind him, her signature glare burrowing into the back of his head. She glanced towards the Beamos that had previously tried to chop her head off and grinned. Unfortunately, Guy was a much more capable fighter than her, and she really doubted that he would fail to notice the monster's eyes beginning to focus on him. She stopped in her tracks before reaching the temple, watching Guy continue to walk towards the entrance, apparently oblivious to the facts that Wiki was no longer walking with him and that he was about to get his stupid head cut off.

As she continued to watch him walk - was he even walking in a straight line? - Wiki's eyes darted to the Beamos and then back to Guy several times before she let out a large groan. Ok, this wasn't even a little bit amusing. Guy losing his head unceremoniously would be too clean (and boring) a death. She bolted after him and grabbed his obnoxiously long red scarf, yanking him back just in time for a Beamos's laser to take a bit off the top. She continued to hold onto his scarf without saying a word. The more Wiki studied him, the more her eyes narrowed. Something wasn't right here. Wait a second ... she knew that look ...

"... ... Are you high!?" She screeched, suddenly releasing his scarf and backing away from him. There was that unmistakable expression of unadulterated rage on Wiki's face again. She began to pull leaves out of her head and stomp around - she was pissed. So pissed. How did this stupid scrub manage to piss her off so many times in just one day? Wiki was regretting saving him. "Of all the fucking disrespectful BULLSHIT-- " She screamed and began making furious noises. Who the fuck gets high and then goes on a dungeon run?! Wiki was an asshole, but at least she didn't endanger herself and others by being a fucking useless stoner. She needed an outlet, anything -- the Beamos. She began picking up various rocks and chucking it at the creatures, knowing full well that it was fruitless. Wiki didn't care. Wiki didn't have the mental capacity to process what she was doing right now. Wiki was more or less just trying to keep herself from jumping onto Guy and beating the ever living shit out of him. She began kicking up dirt, she set a bush on fire, and finally she whistled an arrow or two at the two Beamos. At least she could be happy those things were finally dead. She breathed heavily, her entire body tense, as she stared at the destruction she had just caused. Her head whipped back towards Guy.

"This?! This is what you do?! This is your idea of a good time?! Wandering around in dangerous places without telling the people you're with that you're inebriated?!" She barked, her arms moving faster than her words. "You think this is funny?! You think you being a fucking liability is funny?!" Wiki was working herself up again just by speaking to him. Wiki wouldn't have cared if he was passed out drunk in the street, but right now he was with Wiki, and right now his intoxication was a danger to her, the most important person on the planet. So, he was an asshole. An. Asshole.

Though the dungeon was certainly... strange-looking... from the corner of his eye, Guy noticed the Beamos. There's no doubt they noticed him as well. No matter how much he sneaked around, they always noticed him--it was as if they had some kind of magical sensors. Maybe it was the 'shrooms, or maybe he actually was that good, but he thought he'd be able to finish them without even drawing a bla--why was his scarf being pulled. Guy stumbled backward, his arms flailing--triggering the Beamos to fire at him, narrowly missing to hit the ground instead. As he stumbled backwards, he glanced at the Beamos--thankfully he seemed to have left its range, as the pointless eye was now rotating in a circle again. Wiki was in his face.

Guy's eyes watched her somewhat blankly, frowning a bit. It might have been in part from the mushrooms, yes, but someone screaming in his face had never been as intimidating as it should have been. He quietly listened to her tirade--while wondering how many times she had gone off in his face by this point over some minor thing. She was as hypocritical as always. He could've been stoned, drunk, wasted, and injured, and could still be less of a liability in a dungeon than Wiki--in his own mind, anyway. That wasn't even mentioning the 'disrespect' part.

Once she was done, his right hand pointed towards the Mirror Shield strapped to his left arm. "This reflects their beams, you know." He shrugged a little bit, "My reflexes really aren't that slow." A single bite seemed to last for hours or even days, so it's not like Wiki hadn't seem him high before. After all, he was always high. She just never noticed. Most people didn't. Still, it was probably a bad idea to take a hit right in front of her. That's when the stuff was always the most... potent.

"Do you want me to prove it?" He kicked off the ground, sliding--hovering over the ground a few paces back from here, before abruptly stopping. He proceeded to whip his hand into and out of his pouch in a flash, drawing three throwing knives between his fingers. Using only one hand, he proceeded to juggle all three of them in a high arc, all while maintaining eye contact with Wiki. He had, after all, spent several decades learning how to use these damn things. Even throwing them straight was hard--juggling them was comparatively easy. He could've done this in his sleep, or while wasted-drunk, but she didn't need to know that. It was all muscle memory. After a bit of parlor tricks, he abruptly snatched all three out of the air in sequence, slid them back into his pouch, and took a bow.

At the very least, this entire ordeal managed to get his mind off eating a cat inside Wiki's... house. He shuddered, then glanced over towards the Beamos, taking his mind off the matter once more. With an indifferent tone, he asked, "Did you want to go first, or something?"

His indifference to her anger only fueled it. She clenched and unclenched her fists and stomped once before crossing her arms and tapping her foot. Her angry glare never faded, and she maintained eye contact with Guy only because he was doing the same with her. Just like a dog, Wiki refused to be the first one to break eye contact. She watched his display of skill out of her peripheral with indifference, but even Wiki had to concede that being able to perform such stunts while intoxicated was pretty impressive. Din knew that Wiki would probably be incoherent and crying by now.

"That's... That's not the point!!" She screeched, kicking a mound of dirt up. She launched herself into another mini temper tantrum, kicking the wall a few times before becoming visibly morose. She sighed and her shoulders slumped. Was she done being angry, or had she just tired herself out? Probably the latter. She walked past Guy and further into the temple, grumbling loud enough so that he could hear her. "... Fuck man, I offered to share a cat with you. You don't... you don't just go and throw shit like that back in someone's face."

For a reason Wiki couldn't quite put her finger on, she was feeling genuinely offended. She knew that trying to tell when someone was high while they were already intoxicated was tough and the fact she was able to pick up on it so quickly probably meant he had dosed while in her presence. ... reviewing the facts in her head, Wiki could put her finger on why his intoxication was offending her so much, she just didn't want to admit to herself that she was so intolerable that someone's gut reaction to her was to disconnect themselves from reality. .. Jerk. This was the reward the universe gave her for being nice.

Wiki was happy that the first room they had entered into was a simple room with a locked door and a puzzle. She squinted her eyes at a stone tablet in the room that had some type of pattern illustrated on it, and then glanced towards the large stone blocks around her. She sighed. Easy enough to figure out that one was supposed to match up the blocks to how they were in the picture. She looked towards Guy and moved towards one of the blocks, attempting to push it with no luck. She grumbled, realizing that she would probably need some help pushing these things. She glared at Guy. Great.

Guy couldn't help but sigh a bit, his arms crossed as she murdered the two Beamos almost effortlessly. He probably would've felt more guilty about upsetting her, if she was sane, didn't expect to eat a cat, and on at least one occasion could have killed him with fire--whether she meant to or not. Truthfully, he still wondered about that. After seeing where she lived, who couldn't? At the very least she didn't seem to be intent on murdering him, as she already had several attempts to do so. He couldn't help but wonder how he knew so many insane people, but none of them had seriously attempted to murder him. His luck was going to run out.. sooner or later...

When Wiki glared at him, he somewhat hesitantly moved alongside her against the one side. His back pushed against it, using his legs to push away in a squat-like motion. Even then, it wouldn't move. Was it really that heavy, or was it designed not to be moved? With one last heave, he abruptly propelled his back into it, grunting from the additional impact. The block budged forward, and combined they were able to move the obstruction to where it seemed to want to go. They repeated this process with a couple more blocks in the room, before finally they matched the illustration on the tablet. There came a sound of stone grinding against stone somewhere above them--Guy looked up just in time to see a tiny trap door open, dropping a bronze key into the room. He deftly propelled into the air in a high arc, catching it before it hit the ground. He hovered and slid back across the ground, landing smoothly. Wiki was closer to the door, so he tossed it in her direction.

"...I wonder who sets up these things," he offered, idly.

The pair ended up investigating through several more rooms filled with various simple traps, easy puzzles, and impotent monsters. Guy began to become somewhat concerned that some other adventurer had already come through her recently and cleared out everything of interest. The strongest monster they had faced was outside the temple, in the cave--that fishy swordfighter. Maybe the other adventurer had skipped the cave and gone the supposed long way. There didn't even seem to be any significant treasure, beyond a few handfuls of rupees.

Eventually, they ended up in what seemed like the last room on the highest floor... or, maybe second highest, if there was anything on the roof. Guy had lost hope of finding anything of note, but nonetheless felt the need to see this to completion. He assumed Wiki felt the same, but was reluctant to ask, lest she stab him with another tirade about being high. This is why it was better to come one's constant-inebriation a secret. In any case, this room seemed like just another block puzzle, albeit a bit more challenging than the handful before it. The blocks were smaller, but some of them were ramps... It seemed you had to use the ramps to push blocks on top of each other, making it a 3D take on the oh-so-familiar block puzzles.

A halfway decent distraction came when a pair of Curse Keese soared down from the ceiling. Guy's hand shot out instinctively, launching a knife towards one of them. In what was perhaps the greatest reflexes in one of the things, it dodged out of the way yet continued diving towards him--as the other soared in Wiki's direction. A flash of his sword was able to finish off the beast easily enough, where his knife had failed. Even if it was fueled with some kind of shadow magic, a Keese was still a Keese.

Wiki wiped her brow of nonexistent sweat after the pair had finished pushing around the blocks. It was mostly Guy doing the work, but Wiki helped. Somewhat. She shrugged at Guy's question and opened the door. How the hell would she know?Unlike Guy, Wiki was perfectly content with simple traps, easy puzzles, and impotent monsters. Wiki didn't get off to finding rare and powerful treasure, and most of the time finding even a simple item would please her. Wiki never said no to good fortune, even if the fortune was small. The more she watched Guy solve puzzles and fight enemies with ease, the more she realized that he was way too competent at adventuring inebriated to be just an occasional user. She frowned at the thought. Just when she thought her opinion of the other scrub couldn't sink any lower...

She was thrown out of her judgmental thoughts by the squeaking of Keese. She groaned and quickly grabbed an arrow before chucking it at the creature dive bombing her. Her throwing aim was awful, and she of course had to adjust the arrow's trajectory with a whistle before it stabbed into the creatures heart. She shivered. If it wasn't for the fact pulling out her bow was extra arm movements (therefore extra effort), Wiki would never make such an abhorrent noise. But even she could admit that her bow made her arrows fly faster and hit harder... but really, it was a Keese. A six year old Hylian child could probably whip a baseball at one and it'd die. Force ... wasn't really an issue here. With the Keese dead, Wiki was able to properly look over the block puzzle. She glanced towards Guy, and when he didn't immediately start moving towards the same block as she did, Wiki thought it'd be best to spread some of her wisdom in a constructive, positive manner.

"Get your ass over here and help me move this, then that, there, that one over... dammit, -- Shit," she grunted, her attempts to move the block completely futile. She backed away slowly from the block, staring at it for a moment. Wiki shook with anger. What was the point in having the ability to figure out puzzles quickly if you didn't have the strength to properly move the blocks after?! Short answer: the universe was a piece of shit. Assuming Guy started helping her, the two would complete the puzzle, although not before many curses and expletives were screamed and shouted from Wiki's mouth.

The completed block puzzle revealed a chest in the center of the room. Wiki glanced towards Guy, back to the chest, and then back to Guy again, before dashing towards the box. It wasn't even a big chest, but she was allowed to be a complete miser when it came to one treasure chest, right? Right. She opened it, looked down, and let out a soft chuckle. Slowly, she turned her head towards Guy, her arms still in the chest and hiding her prize, the biggest shit eating grin a Deku could physically muster spread across her face.

"Smile," she said, quickly whipping out the Pictograph Box she had just acquired from the chest, snapping a picture of Guy and unleashing a blinding flash of light from the contraption. She cackled as the film popped out of the box, and she placed the machine and the photo in her pack (wow jeez it was getting full in there). She was certain that when the picture finished developing it would bring her laughter for many days to come. The chest opening triggered a hole on the roof of the room to slide open, a ladder magically rolling out from it moments later. Wiki sarcastically bowed and dramatically motioned to the ladder, offering Guy 'the honor' of climbing up first.

With Guy's help, Wiki was able to solve the puzzle fairly quickly. He was nonetheless surprised when she had difficulty even moving these smaller blocks--he was able to shift them around on his own, even without Propel. It enabled her to bark orders at him from afar, which he supposed she would enjoy anyway. When the last block shifted into place, the chest appeared. He probably could've bolted to it before Wiki, but at this point didn't much care. They had yet to find much of interest here, and of all things, she found... a Pictogrpah Box?

"Ah." He blinked in the flash, still breathing heavily. She seemed to get enjoyment out of the weirdest things. "I used to have one of those," he admitted, "well, borrowed one anyway..."

Thinking this was the last room, he was about to turn around and leave when a ladder inexplicably climbed out of the chest, reaching towards a hole that had just opened up in the ceiling. Huh. Apparently they would be going onto the roof after all. He gave a sideward glance towards Wiki, before moving to the ladder. Faint orange light filtered in. It seemed dawn had already come on the outside. Really, how long had they been in here? He supposed it didn't matter. They could always sleep later. Hell, did Wiki ever sleep?

He glanced at her with a sigh, then began climbing up. As his arms moved over the rungs, he began to realize how much fatigue had hit him. Between a lack of sleep and shoving blocks around all night, never had climbing a ladder been so difficult. At least there probably wouldn't be anything up here, he thought. He could barely even fight under these conditions. As he poked his head up, he surveyed the area--a giant, circular area with sporadically arranged cobble stones. Oh, and a colossal hermit crab. And it looked pissed at Guy for existing. Of course.

Before he could scurry back down the ladder--which was a terribly good idea--a ferocious gust bellowed forth from the crab's shell. Guy was flung head over heels, tumbling wildly across the ground, his wooden body striking the ground repeatedly, before he finally caught himself by clutching the ground. Thinking quickly, he reached towards his hip and--wait what?! Looking over his shoulder, he saw his adventure pouch--and all of the invaluable items inside--soaring off the edge of the temple. It took all he had to not go jumping after it. "Din damn you!!" His eyes filled with rage as he whipped out his sword--only for it to abruptly catch wind and be flung off as well. "OH COME ON." Reaching to his belt, he struggled to find any weapon he had left. Nothing. Finally, the wind subsided, but the damn crab would be practically invincible against Guy's little fists. Hopefully Wiki had something to use against it... "Wiki, get up here...!"

Scrambling desperately, Guy ran in the general direction his Adventure Pouch flew. As luck would have it, one item--the only item--flung out of its mouth before it was thrown clear off the temple. It was that damn shovel he stole earlier in the night. Guy clutched its handle tightly in his hand, before turning to face the crab. He was going to fight a giant hermit crab with a goddamn shovel. If his pouch didn't survive the fall, he was going to use it to pry this damn thing's brains out one friggin' neuron at a time...

"Don't use pussy words like 'borrowed', Guy," Wiki said, rolling her eyes. "Just admit that you stole it." She glanced towards him again. "I mean, unless... you... really did borrow it... Good on you, I guess."

Wiki never slept, or at least not for more than a few hours at a time. Her erratic and mostly nonexistent sleep schedule probably contributed to her frequent emotional outbursts. Now that Wiki thought about it, when was the last time she had slept? She yawned. Shit. She watched Guy climb the ladder, shielding her eyes from the creeping in dawn light with her hand. If there was something dangerous at the top, she would rather his head than hers. What? There was literally nothing wrong with having basic survival instincts. As he made it to the top, Wiki patiently waited at the bottom. There was no point in exerting effort to climb a ladder if there wasn't going to be anything worthwhile at the top. Her brow cocked when she heard Guy yell. She moved towards the bottom of the ladder and looked up, unable to see anything. Should she bother to help? Was it really worth it? It's not like he was calling her by name or anyt-- Dammit...

She climbed the ladder as fast as she could (aka not fast) and popped her head out of the hole. Her head swung towards the direction of the giant enemy crab and a groan escaped her snout. She shot a glare at Guy as if his presence alone had summoned the thing. However, right now she was more concerned with the large amount of smaller, much faster hermit crabs now spilling out from the giant beast. A shiver ran down her spine. Why did everything that tried to kill her have to be so completely revolting? She quickly climbed out of the hole and ran towards Guy. She looked him o-- WHY WAS HE WIELDING A SHOVEL?

"Did you take another hit?!" she screamed at him, assuming that his poor choice in weaponry was due to further intoxication. However, glancing over him again, she noticed that his sword and adventure pouch was missing. Wiki's anger faded, only to be replaced with a smug grin. Served him right. She didn't have time to revel in Guy's bad luck, as the hoard of crablings was now skittering towards the Deku scrubs. She bolted away from Guy towards one of the edges of the arena, but luckily the crablings didn't follow her. Those things were shovel boy's problem now, not hers! Looking over at him, Wiki supposed that she could have offered to let him borrow her bow... but... ....

At the sound of claws pounding on stone, her attention turned back to the giant crab in the middle of the arena. She pointed her finger at the ground under it, and moments later a familiar inferno engulfed the thing. She grinned, figuring that the battle would be quick and painless. As the flames faded, Wiki's expression turned sour. The crab emerged unharmed from its protective shell, clicking its claws together angrily. Wiki had done nothing more than piss it off, and now it was barreling towards her in an effort to knock her off the edge. She grabbed her bow and aimed it at the charging creature. When Wiki was done playing chicken, she fired, the arrow clanking off of the creatures shell. A clear failure, but the thing still retreated back into its red protection like a frightened child. Wiki wasn't complaining, she took the opportunity to run to the other side of the arena.

If Guy needed her help, he'd yell for her, right? Probably. Would she respond? Undecided. She figured it wouldn't hurt if she let karma bite him in the ass a little more.

Guy shot Wiki a glare as she yelled at him. "Of course I didn't." In a matter of seconds she finally seemed to figure out what was actually happening. Since when do Hermit Crabs shoot gusts of wind. Perhaps more importantly, why wasn't it shooting gusts at Wiki to wipe that damn smirk off her face. Even while intoxicated and wielding a shovel, he would bet a lot of money he would be more useful in this fight than her. Despite his confidence that he was the bigger threat, the giant crab pursued her instead. Damnit. If he only he was sober enough to actually remember more than the simplest of spells... He was pretty sure he used to know more. Oh well.

Instead, a trio of smaller crabs popped out and scurried towards him furiously. Why were they even so pissed off? Was this sacred crab ground or something? He debated whether or not it would be better to run down the side of the side of the building to receive his pouch, but...

For crabs, the little ones were damn fast. They were racing towards him before he could even make a decision. Looks like he was going to fight these damn things with a shovel. Taking it high above his head, he thrust a ferocious stab into the first crab--hearing it echo out a squeal. As the second approached, he dug the shovel low and wedged it beneath the creature a split-second before shoveling it ( ) high into the air. As it flailed and squealed wildly, he took the shovel over his shoulder. While it fell, he tore into the creature with a ferocious, baseball-swing of the makeshift weapon, tearing into the beast so hard he swore the shell cracked. The creature barreled into the third one as it approached, their shells bashing against each other. Guy smacked the creatures a few more times--not enough to kill them, but enough to keep them from going after him again even if they were stupid enough to do so.

He noticed Wiki unable to damage the large one... Apparently its shell was drastically stronger than those of these little ones. Even if an arrow was fired by Wiki, he presumed it had more piercing power than a goddamn shovel. As he raced towards it, he considered his options. Without most of his gear, his choices were limited. He probably wouldn't be able to crack the shell, which meant he'd have to crawl up in there and smack it. Time would tell whether or not he could do that without getting decapitated.

As he neared it, of course, the damn thing launched another gust of wind. Guy tumbled pathetically--one hand clutching the ground, as the other gripped his last remaining weapon for dear life. He couldn't even get close to the damn thing. No wonder it didn't blow away Wiki--she was too busy running away like a coward for it to be threatened enough to outright blow her away. At this rate, though, the damn thing would blow him right off the building. That in of itself wouldn't be too much of a problem, but... he didn't exactly want to roll over and give up, either. That's not to mention, Wiki probably wouldn't survive the fall as well as he could. Fuck, was he really fighting a monster for the sake of Wiki?

Guy hollered over the roaring wind, struggling just to maintain his position, "Damnit woman, distract it or something!"

Of course Guy was fighting a monster for the sake of Wiki. Wiki was awesome. A universe without her wouldn't be a universe worth living in. [/sarcasm]

She shot a glare towards Guy when he barked another order at her. What an obnoxious prick. Was that all he thought she was good for? A distraction?! But she couldn't argue with the fact that Guy was a better fighter than her. It would probably be for the best if he wasn't thrown off the roof.

"HEY! HEY! LOOK OVER HERE YOU PIECE OF SHIT," Wiki started yelling, waving her arms around to try to get the attention of the crab. The crab made a very rational decision for a giant monster, as it decided to ignore Wiki. More people should probably make that decision. It continued to blow wind in Guy's face, its every intent to knock the other scrub off. The obnoxious one could wait. Wiki didn't care that it looked like Guy was slipping, she was more upset over the fact that the crab dared to ignore her directly addressing it. No one ignores Wiki when she wanted to be heard. "I'M TALKING TO YOU!!" She screeched, anger rising from the pit of her stomach. She quickly summoned an arrow and aimed for the monster again before firing it off.

The arrow hit the shell and disappeared, but before Wiki could groan in frustration at yet another miss, the monster retreated back into its mobile home. She cocked an eyebrow. This thing seemed more like a coward than her, and that .. that was pretty impressive. Ah well, at least it stopped its windy onslaught on shovel boy. The crab quickly emerged and began to shake its body, more of those little disgusting parasites crawling out of their shared home. They began to skitter around the battlefield in different directions. Wiki grimaced. How many of those things were in there?!

Wiki grabbed an arrow from her quiver and fired it off. Before it hit the monster, she quickly whistled, changing the arrows direction. She continued to whistle, keeping the arrow in mid-flight and circling around the thing in various arcs, the monster repeatedly ducking back into its shell and making occasional swipes at the arrow with its large claws. Wiki didn't want to admit she had been practicing this, but even with practice, whistling for this long of a time was seriously making her uncomfortable. Guy better hurry the fuck up an--

She screamed, suddenly tackled to the ground as one of the crablings jumped on top of her. She had been distracted with.. distracting and hadn't noticed it. The arrow she had previously been controlling stopped above the beast, free falling until it clanked on its shell. The giant crab retreated back into its shell for a moment at the sudden noise, but Wiki didn't see. She was busy wrestling with the thing that had jumped on top of her, trying to kick it off and doing her best to avoid getting her snout clipped off by one of its claws.

Maybe it was because he himself was only armed with a shovel, but Guy noted that Wiki was indeed miraculously doing something useful. He still couldn't help but wonder how she managed to whistle like that, though--much less how she managed to fling an arrow around with it. Regardless, the gust was gone, and Guy pushed on. Acting quickly, he propelled himself violently across the ground, using his Hover Boots to fly towards the thing at phenomenal speed. It seemed too distracted with repeatedly hiding like some kind of giant, cowardly little bitch to even react. As Guy shot past the littler crabs, he noticed one of them tackling Wiki in his peripheral vision... Oh well.

The thing ducked into its shell one last time--and Guy shot straight in like a bullet, his shovel SMASHING blade-first into what he presumed to be its face. His hand reached out, grabbing something fleshy--kicking away, and ripping it off, throwing it over his shoulder. In the darkness, he could see its claws pinned to its side. He abruptly felt its body pushing back against him, threatening to blow him away. Fuck that. This was ending, now. Guy's body flashed yellow again in just the nick of time, propelling him into the creature with another ferocious shovel-stab, summoning a splurt of green blood and a desperate squeal of what he presumed to be agony. He beat the thing in its face several more times, before finally it gathered enough strength to desperately fling him into the air. The Deku Scrub dangled, helpless, fresh out of Propel, as a giant pincer twice his size shot towards him...

Thinking quickly, Guy spat out a Deku Nut straight downwards, instantly blinding the creature. Its pincer flinched from the flash--delaying just long enough for Guy to slip through unscathed. He landed shovel-first into the monster, beating it senselessly for the third time in a row. It squealed in agony, flailing, writhing... its movements becoming slow... even as the steel shovel continued smashing into its face. Finally, Guy pulled himself up, panting hard, eyes wide and wild. He watched the creature for a moment longer, as his breaths slowed, and he resumed a calm demeanor. It was dead. He killed it. A sigh escaped him.

Oh, right, Wiki. She had probably already dealt with that smaller one. He supposed they had killed it together, but, he didn't really want to comment on the battle... He still needed to recover his pouch.

Guy turned around, hopping off its corpse... He could've swore there were two other little ones... Did they run away? It didn't much matter. He moved towards the edge where his Adventure Pouch flew down. There was little doubt it was still intact, and there wasn't anything fragile in it, but... there was always the chance a random Moblin or something would make off with his hard-earned trinkets. As if Moblins ever got up this early. Still, his pace quickened...

Glancing over towards Wiki, Guy halted in his tracks for a moment. If he walked down the side of the temple, he realized he would be leaving her behind--and that it would be the last time he saw her for a while, assuming he denied her offer to 'dinner.' It didn't... it didn't seem like a bad outcome for him. Still, he hesitantly asked, "...Do you want me to carry you down the side, or something?" To his knowledge, Wiki couldn't fly, or glide, or anything of the sort. It would be a hassle for her walking all the way down, he assumed. She probably would refuse anyway, but he felt the need to ask nonetheless.

Wiki held her arms up against her face to protect it. Had to protect the money maker. She used her feet and pushed upwards with her forearms in an effort to get this awful thing off of her. Wiki had gotten hurt enough times on her arms that the bark kept growing back in rough, hard patches. This is why she should never reproduce, her genes were probably fucked. Maybe she was a mutant (false, just the lucky receiver of some fun recessive genes), considering her parents were both incredibly honest, nice, and genuinely good people. They even helped out Hylians, the sorry bastards. Her parents inefficiencies and inability to recognize quality vs trash always made her sick. Beyond sick, be--Holy shit the crab was definitely clawing into her arm yup there it went right into the bark.

She screeched, groaning and whimpering as the crab moved its claw around in her bark, sap dripping out of it. Holy shit, she thought that maybe once, this would be the one fucking dungeon where her luck didn't run out. The one fucking time where she walked out without a scratch. Piece of shit Guy, maybe if he had tried to help her -- OK, not even Wiki could blame Guy for this one.

She finally managed to kick the creature off of her and quickly jumped to her feet. Her foot came slamming down on the crab, smashing into it repeatedly. Wiki didn't even care at this point. Pain wasn't an issue for her and the crabling's hard outter shell didn't bother her bare feet (mystery solved). Not when she was this mad, not when she was coursing with this much raw anger and adrenaline. She didn't get any enjoyment from killing, not mindless killing anyways, she wasn't a sick freak, but Wiki could channel her anger into beating the shit out of something until either she was nearly dead or it was dead. In the grand scheme of things, her kill count was pretty high for someone so unlucky.

She shot a crazed look at Guy, panting heavily. Was he talking to her? She looked around, finally becoming aware of the raw heat emanating off of her body. The.. oh, it was dead. She was pretty sure she looked genuinely insane, but honestly, she was just... really tired. She was nearing the time where she usually passed out, between the hours of dawn and two hours later. Wiki didn't need sleep. Who needed sleep? Certainly not her. This added to the fact she had writing on her walls, well... Wiki wasn't making the best case for her sanity right now.

"Uh," she began, scratching her head. She looked down at her bleeding arm, the pain finally beginning to settle in. Oh no, yeah, there was the pain on her foot. Wow, incredible. It was like Wiki was too angry to make a rational decision and not stomp the spiked hermit crab monster with bare feet. Such a rare occurrence for her. "What, you want to carry me down like I'm some sort of damsel in distress you just saved?" She crossed her arms, her snout turned upwards in disgust. "You're sick, Guy." Wiki knew in her head that he was just being a decent person, a concept that was often foreign to her, but she was tired and pissy. But he had just offered to carry her down, had just helped her through a dungeon, and had admittedly helped her pass another night on an otherwise boring and desolate island. She glanced down at her bleeding arm, then to her bleeding foot before shuffling her cloak around. Shit. She really hoped Guy didn't notice her foot was bleeding. Deku scrubs never really needed shoes, but ... usually not having them was pretty much a universal sign of not being able to afford them. Wiki's pride was too good to be carried down effortlessly instead of walking back to her home in such an awful condition. Do you really think she wanted to add the shame of not being able afford a good pair of custom shoes that fit her ridiculously messed up feet?! (seriously, they were pretty mangled).

"... I mean, you can still have some ... yeah, uh, if you want it. I'm sure you don't, but, not... not really an issue if you do or don't. No pressure, yeah, uh...." she felt half bound by that weird commitment she had to hospitality, the other half of her hoping he denied her offer. She scratched at her leaves. "Anyways uh, that's a negative on the carrying." She paused. "... I know I'm ... not anyone's first choice for a dungeon run, but it wasn't... the worst way to spend a night. So uh... thanks, I guess," She didn't offer him a smile. Wiki knew Guy wouldn't take her even remotely seriously if she did. However, it was bullshit. All bullshit. When was Wiki thankful to anyone but herself? Basically never. Wiki was planning on fucking with the picture she had taken of Guy. She didn't need him assuming that she still hated him, especially when rumors started to spread - as they always did, Wiki made sure - of the Deku who entertained and amused with photoshop illusions, trickery and bullshit. Plus, Guy looked hilarious in general. Other nationalistic scrubs would appreciate the joke that was his hair. It was always fun (and profitable) to change the faces of cards with that Handheld Illusion spell, but it was way more fun to modify pictures for shits and giggles.

"So uh... bye, I guess," she said, waving goodbye awkwardly and turning to go. If Guy wanted food, she figured he'd just... ok let's be honest, Wiki was pretty sure that she was (thankfully) going to eat that entire cat alone tonight. Plus, Wiki sort of got the vibe that Guy didn't ... really eat felines. "Tell your sister I say hi."

Guy was unsure if the invite to dinner was sarcastic or spiteful, but he was sure it was either one or the other, so he mostly ignored it. Similarly, she declined the offer as he expected (and hoped) she would. The last thing he wanted to feel right now was Wiki's body against his own.

Even so, he flinched visibly--and unintentionally--as she mentioned Sienna. He had almost completely forgotten about that. Even if Wiki was insane and probably evil, so was his sister. They both (unintentionally) helped him not die more times than he would like to admit. Thus, he swallowed his pride enough to reluctantly say, "...Sure. I'll mention you to her." Guy hoped he would forget saying that by the next time he caught up with his sister. "Later."

With that said, he abruptly leaped clear off the building. When his face was nearing the grass, he abruptly propelled backwards onto the wall, and proceeding to walk down the rest of it. As expected, his magical satchel was still intact, and the contents seemed mostly unharmed. He fixed it back on his belt, then began the long stroll across the island and back to his ship. In a corner of his mind, he desperately tried to forget that all he really had to show for this terrible night was a couple new bruises, a handful of rupees, and a goddamn shovel. None of that seemed worth the cost of seeing where Wiki lived. A shudder ran down his spine.

... ... ...

In case it wasn't apparent, we did the Temple of Courage, from Phantom Hourglass.

Wiki gets a Pictograph Box (20r). With the bonus 5 rupees she gets from her profession, she makes out with 25 roops altogether.

Guy advances to Profession: Thief 7 (35r), and from it gains another 35 bonus rupees. Altogether, he makes out with 40 rupees--and a shovel, apparently.