On Sunday 26 of March, Darth_Slaverus, Magnere, and Electronic Ink were discussing similarities between Ace Attorney characters and Hyrule Castle characters. One of Ink's characters, Saku (son of Yuku) was brought up. This beautiful masterpiece is what followed-three solid hours of an on-the-spot spontaneous Ace Attorney trial. Electronic Ink: I think we discussed the Yanni Yogi/Saku thing before But like I mean he’s a kid, and I had other plans for him Darth_Slaverus: LIKE KILLING HIM Electronic Ink: Huh? Darth_Slaverus: LEAVE SAKU ALONE, INKY He was the one who “dies” I thought Electronic Ink: “dies?” Darth_Slaverus: Yeah, Yuku and Saku die in Case 2 don’t they Electronic Ink: ...No? Darth_Slaverus: Don’t make me present the evidence Electronic Ink: Did I say that? Darth_Slaverus: “In the frantic chase, Yuku is killed, to Judith’s despair, as well as Saku” In the PM OBJECTION Electronic Ink: Oh wouldja look at that *cue villain breakdown* Darth_Slaverus: Inky draws a shocked face for the breakdown As you can see, Your Honour, she clearly intended to murder Saku Electronic Ink: *hands fly to mouth, pencils exploding everywhere* Your Honour, he’s full of shit! Darth_Slaverus: How I wish Phoenix could actually make that statement. “Like c’mon, Your Honour, she’s obviously full of shit” Electronic Ink: I wish that was a dialogue option, I would spam it so bad The fact remains that the defendant did not murder Saku. Do you have proof that she still intends to? Darth_Slaverus: (You’ve got to be kidding me!) Further testimony is required, Your Honour! Electronic Ink: Well? What do you want me to testify about, huh? I have nothing to hide! Magnere: I’m just sitting here trying to learn if an intent to murder is a criminal offense in and of itself Electronic Ink: I’m guilty of nothing, filthy lawyer! Magnere: In fact, I believe that’s just labelled under Attempted Murder Electronic Ink: If you have something to say, prove it! Darth_Slaverus: Why don’t you testify about the circumstances behind the very sentence I just presented? Electronic Ink: The...circumstances? V-very well then! Magnere plays Objection! 2001 {} Electronic Ink: I was asked by Eevachu to help make some cases for Judith Law, and I wrote some up. Darth_Slaverus plays Thrill Theme ~ Suspense {} Electronic Ink: When you yourself said I should join in with my characters in Case 2, I rewrote it to include my characters! At the time, I had no intention of keeping all three of Yuku’s children. I mean, three is too many! I have too many characters already to play all three of her children! So I wrote him out! Simple as could be! But then, I changed my mind. I don’t want him dead anymore! Magnere: (So because there was too many, murder was the only option…) Electronic Ink: And that’s my testimony! Magnere: (Darth… There is a contradiction in there somewhere. You just gotta find it!) Darth_Slaverus: HOLD IT! In the past, you’re on record as saying that Saku “looks like an emo,” that you “weren’t sure what to do with him.” That alone sounds pretty nefarious… and on top of that, this isn’t even the first time you’ve placed him in danger! Electronic Ink: Gah! W-well, I wasn’t! What else was I supposed to say? Magnere plays Pursuit ~ Cornered {} Darth_Slaverus: But what if you meant something else by that statement? Perhaps… *three options appear, picks “You weren’t sure how to kill him”* You weren’t sure how to kill him! Electronic Ink: *recoils* NOO! You...you’re lying! You don’t know anything! You can’t prove it! Darth_Slaverus: Really? Even in this ‘Swimming Pool of Death’ thread… {http://forums.hyrulecastle.org/index.php?threads/swimming-pool-of-death-darth-and-inky.2963} Darth_Slaverus: “Taku inherited my tentacles, so I can understand your confusion” SAKU is the one with tentacles, isn’t he? It’s almost as if...you’d already written him out! Electronic Ink: *silence* That...is where you are wrong. As clearly shown in this image, Taku is indeed the child with tentacles. {http://i67.tinypic.com/1556rer.jpg} If you have THAT wrong, who’s to say you don’t have everything else wrong?! Darth_Slaverus: (No! She slipped out of that one like an eel!) Magnere: Might be best to stick with the evidence Darth. Just because you know the truth, doesn’t mean the court will believe you without proof!) Darth_Slaverus: (But how?! I KNOW she’s referred to him as the one with tentacles...Was it all just a bluff? A trap?) Magnere: (Find the evidence! Where did they refer to Saku with tentacles? If you can find where she can’t even keep her own kids straight, that might give us an edge!) Darth_Slaverus: OBJECTION! Electronic Ink: Gah! Electronic Ink plays Pursuit ~ Cornered (Variation) {} Darth_Slaverus: Do you perhaps recall...when we discussed the possibility of Saku returning? Electronic Ink: I- I do not! Perhaps you’d like to clarify your lies before I point out how false they are! Darth_Slaverus: We suggested that he would be angry, resentful, even. We suggested that he would be a misanthrope. Magnere: (A misanthrope, for those unaware, is a person who dislikes humankind and avoids human society) Electronic Ink: *sniff* So? What’s that got to do with anything? Darth_Slaverus: But we also suggested that Judith would challenge him by pointing out that he is the most like Yuku, physically...And you agreed with this claim. Electronic Ink: *recoils* NOOOO! Darth_Slaverus: In fact, you thought it was a wonderful idea and squeed over it. Magnere: (That’s it! You can’t deny the squee’s!) Electronic Ink: I-I was confused, is all. Everyone gets confused at some point. Why, my mother still calls me by my sister’s name, and she doesn’t even live with us! Darth_Slaverus: *nods* Indeed. However… Not too long ago, you mentioned that you needed to make some edits in the Pool of Death thread, because you had gotten the brothers mixed up. I thought nothing of it at the time… But now I realise...you were tampering with the evidence, disposing of it. Deleting all records that would show...SAKU is the one with tentacles! Electronic Ink: GAAAAHHHHHH! I-I have proof you’re wrong! View Yuku’s biography once more! The last date edited is in December last year! {http://i65.tinypic.com/rc816t.png} Magnere: (Either way, you are already getting charged with attempted murder and tampering with the evidence...You might as well come clean.) Electronic Ink: I can’t possibly have erased mention of Saku having tentacles...because this hadn’t happened at the time the bio was last edited! Darth_Slaverus: … ….Ah. Ah! (Dammit! I’ve come so far, and she’s clearly hiding something...but that evidence is ironclad! Have I been barking up the wrong tree this whole time?) Electronic Ink: Hah! Admit it! You have nothing! Darth_Slaverus: (I need to turn my thinking around, and fast!) Magnere: (Try a different approach! You’ve been so focused on their appearances...You still forgot to mention how she confused the kids multiple times!) Darth_Slaverus: (Wait a minute...Mags, you’re a genius!) (Let’s hope this works!) ...So. Your argument is that you couldn’t have edited the evidence, because you hadn’t planned the thread yet. Electronic Ink: Yep! Darth_Slaverus: *puts hands at sides, smirks* ...So what? Electronic Ink: ...What are you getting at? Darth_Slaverus: Let’s look back at the facts that have developed since the beginning of the case. As my brilliant assistant has just reminded me, you’ve already mixed up the children more than once. Magnere: (Aww, shucks.) Electronic Ink: So? Everyone’s mother mixes up siblings! Darth_Slaverus: But not only that, we established that you DID intend to kill Saku. Electronic Ink: Briefly! It was an idea! Magnere: (Still able to be charged with attempted murder…) Darth_Slaverus: You have also been overheard saying that you love to torment your characters, and put them through misery. Electronic Ink: So does every author. What are you trying to prove? Darth_Slaverus: AND that you worry about too many, as you yourself admitted in your own testimony. Magnere: (Child abuse? Tsk tsk.) Electronic Ink: Of course! Who can control twenty characters? Magnere: (Well if you take a look over at Blonde Panther…) Darth_Slaverus: With this in mind...let’s go back to your original argument. That you could not have precisely edited Yuku’s profile. Do you maintain this? Electronic Ink: Of course! It’s 100% true! Darth_Slaverus: ...I agree. It could not have been edited...recently. Electronic Ink: WHAAAT? Darth_Slaverus: But the fact remains, it was edited. Electronic Ink: To- to put a new picture in! Nothing more! Magnere: (Posted March 21, edited December 2...Lots of editing could have been done in that time.) Darth_Slaverus: I think we all know the real reason. Electronic Ink: What, pray tell? Darth_Slaverus: The truth is, you’ve been planning to murder Saku since AT LEAST Dec. 2… and by your own argument, this could not have been a crime of passion. No, you doomed yourself the instant you brought up that biography. This was cold-blooded, premeditated murder! Electronic Ink: *recoils* N-NOOOOOOOO! Magnere plays Objection! 2001 {} Electronic Ink: You-you lie! You liar! P-prove it! Prove it!!! Darth_Slaverus: So which was it, Ms. Ink? Did Saku have to die because you were embarrassed at mixing him up with his brother Taku? Or did you always hate him, and tampered with the evidence to reflect that? Electronic Ink: G-GAH! N-neither! It was neither! I didn’t plan to kill him for mixing him up, and I didn’t tamper with any evidence! Darth_Slaverus: Come to think...in the Case 2 brainstorming session, you originally said it was Taku who would be dragged off...But now it’s Saku? Another mix-up. These mix-ups keep adding up. Electronic Ink: They prove nothing. Innocent mistakes! Darth_Slaverus: (She’s rattled, but still she won’t admit her guilt. She’s stubborn…) Magnere: (Hmm...I wonder if there is more evidence somewhere we can use. Perhaps check the Swimming Pool of Death thread once more? There might be more that we’ve not uncovered.) (Assumptions and opinions rarely stand up in court. If you need my advice, I can supply it.) Darth_Slaverus: (Mags is right...this is it. I either need to bluff the truth out of her, or find a final, decisive piece of evidence that will blow the court wide open. (I need to make my choice now, and-) OH MY GOD HOW DID I NOT NOTICE THIIIIIIIS! Magnere: (What did you find!?!?) Electronic Ink: Notice what, attorney?! Darth_Slaverus: Your Honour, look at Yuku’s biography. Look at the image of Yuku and her children! Electronic Ink: W-what about it?! Darth_Slaverus: Notice the colours of the children. According to the profile, the order is Maku, Saku, and Taku. Electronic Ink: Y-yeah, so? Darth_Slaverus: Or...Violet, Blue and Green. But there’s something interesting, if we look back at the Pool of Death thread. I would like to draw the court’s attention first to Post #5, specifically this line: “She tilted the container up and opened a small hatch; the triplets swam hurriedly to the top clamouring for attention. Illegible, high-pitched squealing sounds issued from the children, especially Maku, who kept swimming into the side of the tank towards Judith.” Magnere: (Umm...Darth. I don’t see an issue with that line?) Darth_Slaverus: I am not finished, Mags. Now, let’s look at Post #7. Yuku speculates about Maku’s odd behaviour… “Admittedly, Maku did seem to like the priestess, but for all she knew the priestess was wearing a certain colour Maku liked.” Isn’t it an interesting possibility Yuku raises? Electronic Ink: S-so what?! Darth_Slaverus: That Maku would rush toward a colour she liked? Even if it means bumping into things? Electronic Ink: Y-yeah, so? Fish do that all the time! Magnere: (Well, these are children too… not just fish…) Darth_Slaverus: Now, Judith’s clothes are white and blue. Therefore, it’s logical that her attraction would be to one of these colours. Is everyone in agreement so far? Magnere: (Well I suppose so, yeah) Darth_Slaverus: Witness? Do you agree it’s logical that Maku would be attracted to blue or white? Electronic Ink: I-it was speculation on Yuku’s part, it means nothing. Darth_Slaverus: You seem awfully defensive, Ms. Ink. I haven’t even made a point yet. Say it were true. Would blue and white be the most likely colours? Electronic Ink: I-I suppose so. Darth_Slaverus: So, to recap: Maku is attracted to either blue or white, to the point she will shove or even batter herself against a tank to reach it. Let’s look at Post #9. “Yuku leaned forward, opening the hatch and allowing Maku, Taku and Saku to spring free into the water. Maku and Taku looked to be having an argument; they were shoving eachother with their stubby, vestigial arms. “Play nice,” Yuku warned, and the Tadzora somehow turned their argument into a game of tag, zooming around the pond as if powered by pure and unrefined lightning.” TAKE THAT Electronic Ink plays Cross-Examination: Allegro 2001 {https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R7aa1Dkr_1Q&index=4&list=RD5hx8WTHcie0} Magnere: (I don’t...see the issue. Do you see something I don’t?) Electronic Ink: T-take what?! You’ve proven nothing! Darth_Slaverus: TAKU IS BLUE Electronic Ink: Taku is green! Darth_Slaverus: Then why isn’t Maku shoving Saku? Electronic Ink: And even if he were blue, would I murder Saku because Taku was blue? Darth_Slaverus: Yes...If it meant the two had been mixed up! Magnere: (Darth...I think you are looking in all the wrong places! You’re jumping to conclusions...Let’s start from the beginning and go over the facts we know.) Electronic Ink: *sniff* So? This all means nothing! Magnere: (How did Saku die? And where is our evidence to show that?) Darth_Slaverus: We know that Saku is dragged off by monsters in Case 2 of JLAA, due to the planning PM. Magnere: (Do we? Where is the proof asides from their word? We know they lied before, what’s to stop anything from being a lie?) Electronic Ink: But that hasn’t happened yet, and it’s not going to! Darth_Slaverus: (But half my case hinges on this mix-up conspiracy! If I admit it’s one giant bluff, I’m sunk!) Well...It’s also possible Saku was killed by the River Zoras. Magnere: (Maybe that’s the point! Maybe it is all a bluff! The mix-up is distracting you from the case!) Electronic Ink: I didn’t kill him!!! Darth_Slaverus: (But she’s so defensive whenever the topic comes up! There has to be something she’s hiding!) Magnere: (Maybe she is hiding something! What could she want to hide by having Saku gone?) Darth_Slaverus: If he were killed by the River Zoras, you would still be guilty, whether your hands are bloody or not Electronic Ink: H-I didn’t plot his death! Darth_Slaverus: We know that you have plotted it before...and the possibility WAS raised that you didn’t know how exactly to go about it... (Mags is right, though. We’re gonna go in circles at this rate. I need either some kind of concrete motive, or I need proof that Taku and Saku were switched.) Magnere: (I don’t think they were switched at all...Maybe it wasn’t a death? Kidnappings happen too…) (Maybe she really didn’t plot his death? It’s hard to tell even if he is dead at all!) Darth_Slaverus: (Do I have anything? Anything at all? If only this case used the Jurist system...I would have won four testimonies ago!) Magnere: (Think...think back. What could she possibly gain from having a character separated from their family?) Darth_Slaverus: ...You want to play Taku and Maku as characters, do you not? Electronic Ink: *sniff* Yeah, because I actually have ideas for them. Darth_Slaverus: What better source of the torment you so desire than a missing brother? Magnere: (I don’t think that’s all the pieces of the puzzle...but you’re getting there!) Electronic Ink: Lots better. Dead mother, missing father, all the angst of Maku’s mentor working with criminals. Why would I stray into Alborada territory by killing their brother? Darth_Slaverus: Because...maybe it would be too Alborada-like for him to live, after being taken by River Zoras! Electronic Ink: *snort* Please. Alborada would have him escape the River Zoras in half a second with her Sue powers Magnere: (Darth! We still aren’t even sure if he was taken by them in the first place! No evidence!) Darth_Slaverus: (It would be pretty anticlimactic if he wasn’t…) Magnere: (Think! What use would Ink have for a missing brother? Any possible ideas at all?) Darth_Slaverus: (I don’t understand this at all! She was absolutely reeling when I said it was premeditated due to the sheet editing!) Magnere: (There is clearly a reason for all the madness! But, regardless of the other kids, think! Where could they be if not with River Zoras? Why would Inky get rid of them?) Darth_Slaverus: (She kept floundering as I made point after point, but now she’s got me! Is this the end?) Electronic Ink: Ha! I’ve got you now, foolish foreign lawyer! Darth_Slaverus: Ugh… Magnere: HOLD IT! Electronic Ink stops music. Magnere: I umm...am I supposed to do that? Electronic Ink: HUH?! Darth_Slaverus: ! Magnere: So...I found some evidence that Darth would never have been aware of! Electronic Ink: WHAAAAAAT?!?! Magnere: Lucky ol’ me, I just remembered that Ink loves to share her ideas with me. All. The. Time. Electronic Ink plays Objection! 2013 {https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dwoi6-8UFQI} Electronic Ink: NOOOOOOOOO! Darth_Slaverus: Wh-What? Withheld evidence? Electronic Ink: TRAITOR! Magnere: And...well, I just remembered! I’m sorry, Darth! I didn’t think it was relevant until now...woops? Electronic Ink: You hold your silence! Darth_Slaverus: Normally...I’d question why you were in league with this she-devil...but I’ll take what I can get for now… Magnere: There is a PM thread on the site that Inky constantly asks me for advice on characters, and on the limitations of certain treasures. Simple things. Electronic Ink: *recoils* NO! Magnere: It’s nothing much, and inconspicuous at best...but I found evidence that proves what Inky was doing! Electronic Ink: You filthy traitor, hold your tongue! Magnere: I believe THIS is the evidence Darth needs! {http://image.prntscr.com/image/59a39d4a42274eb18a1d138d9be7f862.png} (And I’ll umm...stop stealing the spotlight.) Electronic Ink: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!! Darth_Slaverus: … …… ……………………………. ….Mags. Magnere: (I was unaware that it was evidence! You can’t blame me for forgetting, can you? You never would have found it without my help!) Darth_Slaverus: No, that’s not the problem. I’m truly grateful you brought this to my attention….But… It’s over. We lost. Magnere: (We...we did?) Darth_Slaverus: I’m...afraid so. That evidence… is illegal. Electronic Ink plays Suspense {https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r_kEKW_lL5k} Electronic Ink: HA! Take that! Magnere: (But...Illegal? How!) Darth_Slaverus: It’s private correspondence between an attorney and the witness. I COULD still present it, but if I did...She’d drag you down with her. I...won’t do that. Even if it means I have to forfeit the case. Electronic Ink: HAHAHAHAHA! You lose! Magnere: (Do it...I’ll go on trial if I must. I’ll prove my innocence. I had no idea of the implications of her statements until this trial. I can’t let them get away with this...They can’t use me as a shield. I won’t let you.) Electronic Ink: What say you, lawyer? You can’t prove anything! Darth_Slaverus: (Dammit...What do I do? Either she gets away, or Mags’ life is in danger! What’s the right choice?) Electronic Ink: Hahahahahahahahahahahahahaha! Magnere: (Darth...Do it. Don't let them hurt anyone else. Lock them away. I’ll be fine...I promise. I’m not even officially a lawyer...at this stage I’m just a witness to their crimes.) Darth_Slaverus: ...Ms. Ink. I...I will cease my questioning and let you go, if you answer one question for me. Magnere: (Darth, no! You can’t do this!) {http://i65.tinypic.com/33y6zqs.jpg} Electronic Ink: Go ahead, foolish lawyer. You have nothing! Darth_Slaverus: How could Saku be swept away? There’s not much of a current… Electronic Ink: The tide, of course! Darth_Slaverus: *smirks* Heh. Electronic Ink: ...Heh? What? Darth_Slaverus: The tide? That’s what did it, eh? Electronic Ink: Yes, the tide. Hmph. Darth_Slaverus: Ms. Ink...Do you realise what you have just done? Electronic Ink: Aside from beating you? Darth_Slaverus: You’ve just admitted that Saku was, in fact, swept away by the tide. And by extension… Electronic Ink: So? He was! Electronic Ink stops music. Darth_Slaverus: *points finger* You just gave Mag’s proof legitimacy, without it even being presented. You have just proven to the court that you’ve been lying all this time! Electronic Ink: … Darth_Slaverus: And because of that...Mags has not been implicated in any way. As far as this court is concerned...the illegal evidence doesn’t exist. Electronic Ink: . . . Darth_Slaverus: In truth...I know you wanted me to present it. You would have claimed it was forged, and gotten both me and Mags in one. Magnere: (My skill in forgery is a curse to us all…) Darth_Slaverus: A bold plan. But...your own sense of theatrics got the better of you. If only you’d stayed silent, like you are now. Pity. Electronic Ink: . . . {http://i66.tinypic.com/2s7z9qv.jpg} Electronic Ink: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!! Darth_Slaverus: I think this trial has served as a lesson in honesty. Had Ms. Ink simply told the truth from the beginning...She would not have broken any laws. But instead, she has implicated herself in a murder plot AND committed perjury. I guess you could say...the “tide” turned, eh? Magnere: (Well done, Darth! It couldn’t have been done without you!) Darth_Slaverus: (I could say the same for you, my friend! Without that last piece of evidence, I’d have been toast….But try to remember earlier next time!) Magnere: (Ehehe...Will do!) Electronic Ink: YOU...AAAAARRRRRGGGHHHHHH! Magnere plays Won the Case! First Victory {https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DaTI2OD3QoE} Electronic Ink: *tearfully* Why? Why...why is it wrong? I’m their author! I can do what I like with them! So what if I was planning to get rid of Saku? That’s my right! Darth_Slaverus: Despicable. Though it may not be murder, abandoning a child to an uncertain fate is cruel...and a shirking of responsibility to boot! Electronic Ink: *sniffle* But why? They’re my characters! I created them, I have a right to do what I want with them! They...they’re my children, and I do care for them! But it was best for all of them if Saku was gone! Darth_Slaverus: Throwing Saku away as if he never existed at all...that’s...that’s...ALBORADA-TIER Electronic Ink: *bursts into tears* I-I would never stoop to her level! I-I love them! Darth_Slaverus: The ravings of a madwoman. Take her away, bailiff. Electronic Ink: P-please! You-you don’t understand! Magnere: (If she loved them...you’d think she’d take better care of them. To give your heart and soul into a character...and then to wrench everything away from them? That’s horrible.) Electronic Ink: How can you understand how precious they are to me? Nobody understands! Darth_Slaverus: Yuku, Maku, Taku, and even Judith would all suffer for your selfish machinations. Electronic Ink: *sniffle* I...I...I think that… ...maybe… ….just maybe… ...I didn’t love them enough. Darth_Slaverus plays Recollection ~ Scenery Where the Hazy Bridge is Seen {https://youtu.be/_-dz2aVZHco?list=PL6aklKaXBeU3bM1hODeXfbAv7_1pl0RiQ} Electronic Ink: I...I understand. *looks away* I… ...never mind… I...I accept my fate. Magnere: (It seems like she truly does care after all…) Darth_Slaverus: If it means anything to you, Ms. Ink...I do not think you are beyond redemption. Electronic Ink: Maybe...I’ll rewrite that story. I...I will have nobody to tell it to, but...even stories with nobody to hear them are stories. They deserve better than what I would give them. Darth_Slaverus: I would read it.
