To Reclaim the Treasure

Discussion in 'Theocracy of Plegia' started by [v], Dec 19, 2013.

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  1. [v]

    [v] Member new

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    "Sounds nice, let's head back."

    Wolfe replied to the pretty thief, it seemed they almost accomplished this mission, except for delivering the item to the owner to get the rest of the pay. Seeing the clear path outside, they left the hideout unscratched, though that was until Wolfe heard a call from behind.

    "Not so fast, lads. Don't you think you can just get away as easy as that."

    Instead of turning back immediately, Wolfe stood still as he realized whose voice that was without turning back. It seemed he had been fooling himself that the bandit leader Verric was not the Verric in his memory. The voice was not all the same but he knew it was the fellow. The lancer finally turned around to face with the man, after years that they parted.

    The man, rather huge in build of a fighter, clad in a simple designed suit and a huge gauntlet on both arms. A massive voulge was kept in his back and a short sword was hung with his body sash. A familiar face with a familiar scar on his left cheek, and grey hair, standing tall on the second floor of the fortress.

    "You....!" After gazing the face of the male intruder, the bandit boss had to widen up his eyes before he revealed a wide smile. "I can't believe it, is that you, Wolfe!? What is a broken sniper like you doing in my new home? What about your home business, flower boy?"

    "Don't steal my line, Verric, it's my turn to question." Wolfe replied, while looking at the surrounding bandits. They were not better than the ones they beat on the way, but their number can be troublesome. "How can you sink so low to become a bandit? What happened to the man I once know as a great soldier of the wall?"

    "Heh, the job bored more a while after you've become blind and left." The bandit lancer replied before he reached his main weapon on his back. The polearm was pointed at Wolfe before the wielder continued. "We can talk, but first you need to let go of either my treasure or your girlfriend, buddy."

    With that, the bandit underlings rushed to the duo, only a few was fast enough to catch up but it seemed they were planning to slow down Wolfe and Emilia.

    "As much as I want to catch up with you, your options are unacceptable." Wolfe quickly turned to Emilia and said as he prepared his spear. "Let's break through to the stairs. Take care of the item, leave your back to me."

    ((OOC: Sorry for the wait. :) Please feel free to make up some low ranking enemies, a turn or two should be fine to end this, finally!))
  2. Squishy

    Squishy tl;dr this is all, still, toko's fault admin

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    ((Ohh god I'm so sorry for replying so late! School's making me forget everything ;n;))

    Of course. Nothing would ever be so easy.

    Emilia almost rolled her eyes when she heard a voice behind them. Muttering various curses under her breath, she turned around, eyeing the apparent leader of the bandits. It seemed he was familiar with Wolfe, though she could not decide if they were on friendly terms or not.

    When he demanded that they hand over the treasure, she decided they were most definitely not on friendly terms.

    With the lamp hooked through her belt and her dagger and katti in her hands, the redheaded thief was ready for another confrontation.

    "Don't worry, if the others were any indication, we'll have them down in the blink of an eye."

    The bandits surrounding the two looked just as rag-tag and haggard as the others had been, though these seemed considerably angrier. Which was not all that surprising since they had time to get angry about two strangers breaking into their fortress and making off with their treasure. Not that it mattered much to Emilia. For her, they were simply obstacles.

    "I can only hope these guys are the last ones..."

    Enemies (open)

    Level 3 Archer
    Level 3 Thief
    Level 5 Archer
    Level 6 Mercenary
    Level 11 Bandit - Verric
  3. [v]

    [v] Member new

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    ((Ahhh...I guess I should just end this, hah.))

    The arrow was shot to the retreats, however, it failed to land on anyone but a mountain rock. The two invaders were quick to enter the staircase, which forced the pursuers to line up.

    Wolfe, once he saw that one was catching up, turned around and thrust the spear into the thief's body. The man tried to block with his blade, but the spearhead's direction was bented to his arm instead. The lancer then made a double stabbing. This time he aimed for the leg, which made the target fell down to his knee, blocking the way for other bandits. Wolfe continued running.

    With that, the mercenaries escaped the thief valley. Verric, who didn't join the pursue, looked at them from above. His eyes were looking at Wolfe, he grinned a bit before calling back his men.

    Few days later, words spread about how the treasure was returned to the owner. The credit went to the mercenary guild, which would please Wolfe's guildmaster. The man, however, always claimed that he wouldn't be able to accomplish this task without the help of a particular thief guild, and that was the reason he didn't get the full amount of the reward.

    ---End---
  4. Blonde Panther

    Blonde Panther Not always sweet and delicate vet

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    Grading
    Alright, let me apologize both on my own behalf and that of Darth Slaverus for the stupid amount of time it's taken to get to this. If you feel I've somehow been biased in my grading or did not do you justice, feel free to ask him for a second opinion, of course.

    As for the thread in general: I like it. Not all RPs need to be complicated and ambitious, and I like seeing straightforward, simple ones like this one. Something that stood out to me was that it took place in the Midmire, which I assume was based on the in-game location. As a writer, I must also tip my hat to you both for your vivid and detailed, yet concise description of the area. I'm also fond of the way you handled fighting; I've noticed that Wolfe took out most of the enemies, but Emilia scored assists on a good few of them. Which is exactly how a thief and a lancer with military training should fight in my mind; it's very well-executed with the strengths and weaknesses of your respective character's classes in mind.

    Vice/Wolfe: +3 Levels, +4/5 Lance EXP.
    Your lack of nativity or formal education in English technically gives you a free pass on all but the most awful of linguistic errors, but I know you've asked for feedback on it in the past; should you want me to give you a few pointers, let me know and we'll go over a few things that stood out to me. For now, you've only been graded on the content and the quality of your writing. I'm impressed with Wolfe, especially how he still struggles with the loss of his eye (and matching Archer Class) and how he prefers to knock enemies out over killing them; it made for a refreshing contrast with Emilia's blood-thirsty nature and was a welcome change of pace in a 'verse where enemies usually end up dead. Story-wise, I'm glad you decided to do something with Verric in the end, and part of me is hoping to see him again in a later thread.

    Squishy/Emilia: +3 Levels, +3/5 Sword EXP.
    Emilia is a great character, have I ever told you that? You write her very well as the 'bad cop' in this thread, and as I've pointed out before, her record of making assists instead of only kills is very fitting with her class, as well as with you yourself saying she's (even) better at stealth than brute force. You've kept her very in-character even while flirting with Wolfe only to go back to her stone-faced killing attitude when business came peeking around the corner. On another note, you know the high standards I have when it comes to English, and yours is quite superb for a non-native speaker; I've only spotted a few errors here and there that I'm willing to chalk up to the Typo Monster.

    Both of you:
    Keep up the good work. I hope to see you both in other threads in the future.

    Support Approved. Get a room, you wannabe millionaires.
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