Quiver the Rito Archer

Discussion in 'Retired Characters' started by Oshawott3, Feb 15, 2017.

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  1. Oshawott3

    Oshawott3 New Member new

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    Name: Quiver Tare Nauru
    Nickname: Evershot
    Race: Rito
    Gender: Male
    Age: 17
    Place of origin: Dragon Roost Island

    PWC: P2 W3 C3

    Racial Perks:
    • Flight
    • Valiance
    • Shuttle Loop

    Traits:
    • Bestial form (Wolfos) + Form Control augment

    Treasures

    Boomerang + Gale Boomerang augment



    Rupees: 20


    Equipment:
    The loftwing Bow: His trusty bow has saved him through thick and thin being carved and painted in the likeness of a Loftwing, with spiked edges where the bow string are to be used as a melee weapon when needed.

    Short Sword: Nothing can be better than a short sword to slice and dice up moblin, with a hilt made out of bronze and a red gem right a the base of the blade

    Black tunic: Wearing this at pretty much all times, he can be quiet in this gear even with chain mail underneath. He bears The Black Scale guild symbol on his shoulders.

    Backpack: Its a backpack that has a quiver sewn onto it

    Quiver: Sewn on to the his backpack it carrys his arrow and bears The Black Scale Guild symbol and obviously carry his arrows

    Two bottles: Two bottles for carrying, things enough said.

    The Pillar: A rune eteched pillar that allows the user to take the form of the wolfos

    Appearance: He has dark brown hair and hazel eyes. He has a thin build, with a large scar wound on his back his beak and feathers are standard for a Rito. Quiver is 6'1" and weighs 63' pounds.
    He wears a black hooded tunic with chainmail underneath, the Black Scale Thieves guild symbol on the left shoulder. He also wears a pair of goggles and a gold band on his left wrist signifying his membership with the Black Scale Thieves. The Black Scale Theives Guild symbol looks Zora Sapphire symbol but solid Black but two of the curves are missing.

    Appearance under Wolfos form: He has white fur and red eyes- like something you wished you could keep as a pet. The trigger for his transformation is a rune-etched pillar in his back.

    Pets: Kifo the Fire Keese. His fur is like a lighter color than a usual Keese and his eyes glow blue along with his fire. He tends to attack anyone who doesn't like keese. He lives in Quiver's backpack and dislikes dogs.

    Personality: Quiver is quiet and reserved, and only really talks to people who don't disrespect him. He's silent, stealthy, and looks kind of shady because he has a slouch and shifty eyes. He likes money because all he wants is a huge home and many fancy things. He likes Rito women he is usually a playboy but the only woman he truly loves is Lachii, and a nice bow. He doesn't like getting caught because it hurts his ego and pride as a thief. He dislikes magic as well because he finds it a lazy way to steal. He dislikes sedatives because he thinks to use it on a target is a lazy way and if anyone finds out his reputaion as a thief will be ruined.

    Backstory: The past of Quiver begins when his parents left him to die, because they felt they could not raise the child. Quiver was, however, found by his adoptive parents- the Nauru family. The Nauru family was poor and could afford very little, but they got by since his adoptive father would steal and pickpocket from rich families.

    While his parents were caring for him they were withdrawn and secretive and every month his father would leave for a week. Quiver would stay up and listen to the conversations that his adopted parents would have without him around. One thing would keep coming up the Black Scale guild. He would get caught sometimes and then he just had to get better at sneaking around. After asking them about it they obviously looked like they didn't want to talk about it. After confronting them they reluctantly told him it was a group of friends and family of around 12 people. that steal from the rich and give to the poor, their not really a guild but they say their a guild to intimadate people. Delighted with the idea, he asked if he could join the Black Scale Guild. His parents said that when he was 12 he could learn to steal and pickpocket alongside his father- and maybe then join the guild.

    When he turned 12 he started to pickpocket and steal- all that training had worked off. To become a member of the Black Scale Guild, he had to get his wings from the the sky spirt Valoo.

    The climb up the mountain was very long and arduous, while climbing up the mountain he got attacked by an unknown monster and, unable to protect himself for very long, was stabbed in the back with a pillar that transformed him into a White Wolfos. Since the stake was both in his back and out of the reach of his Wolfos paws, he couldn't remove it.

    Eventually he came across a lone Keese and tried to talk to it, managing to convince the animal to remove the pillar in his back, returning him to his Rito form. Quiver and the Keese struck a deal; Quiver would look after the Keese and give it a safe home in his backpack, and the Keese would remove the stake whenever Quiver used it- he wasn't going to let an amazing power like that go to waste!

    When he met with Valoo, he got his scale which in turn gave him his wings. He flew down the mountain and when he got to his house he managed to talk his parents into allowing him to join the Black Scale Thieves. After a long flight to Hyrule with his father they touched down in Hyrule castle town. When he joined the guild he was given his bow and tunic.

    He had trained hard to be a good archer and served well on Dragon Roost Island for many moons, but he felt like he wasn't getting enough satisfaction out of living on the small island of Dragon Roost Island he remembered that when he was young he learnt of a vast land beyond the island. After gaining consent from his parents he gathered his gear together and he left the island hoping to find his way.
    Last edited: Mar 27, 2017
  2. Squishy

    Squishy tl;dr this is all, still, toko's fault admin

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    Hey there! You're off to a good start, but at the moment, it looks like your profile needs a bit more work and formatting. Don't forget you start with 100 rupees you can spend on treasures from the library! And I'm sure there's more to say about his appearance, personality and backstory c:
    Cloud likes this.
  3. Oshawott3

    Oshawott3 New Member new

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    Ok how is that
  4. Guy

    Guy Admin admin

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    To be blunt, it still needs a bit more work and formatting. HC isn't the most elite and uppity place ever, but we do generally expect writers here to know how to use commas and capitalization properly.

    Even if that wasn't an issue, however, the backstory is particularly sketchy. The introduction of a "Dragoon Thieves guild" is particularly unfitting for the setting of Dragon Roost Island.
  5. Oshawott3

    Oshawott3 New Member new

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    Ok now I think I've gotten it done
  6. Oshawott3

    Oshawott3 New Member new

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    Hey could someone accept this please
  7. Oshawott3

    Oshawott3 New Member new

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    A
    Last edited: Mar 1, 2017
  8. JoeFerris957

    JoeFerris957 Joe Ferris new

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    Nice start.
  9. Doc Genz

    Doc Genz frozen again Moderator

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    I'm going to have to agree with Guy. Would you consider rewriting parts of the backstory that mention the Black Scales and maybe move them to mainland Hyrule, which he could probably reach easily. A large and broad landmass like Hyrule not only has dozens and dozens of bandit camps but probably has plenty of organized thieves like small guilds.

    Improving that problem and maybe changing whatever other vets have told you could get this accepted.
  10. Cloud

    Cloud friend admin

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    Member:
    this dick
    *EDIT*: At least this one has treasures.

    Approved.
    Last edited: Apr 27, 2017
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