Nefertete Qetesh

Discussion in 'Retired Characters' started by Squishy, Jan 29, 2012.

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  1. Squishy

    Squishy tl;dr this is all, still, toko's fault admin

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    Name:
    Nefertete Qetesh

    Age:
    22

    Gender:
    Female

    Race:
    Gerudo

    Place of Origin:
    Tantari Desert

    Residence:
    With the other priestesses at the Desert Colossus

    Pet:
    None.

    PWC:
    2/1/5

    Treasures:
    Gerudo Dragon
    Wall Kick
    Warrior's Training

    Captivating dance - 60 rupees
    Elegy of Emptiness - 30 rupees
    Command Melody

    Equipment:
    As for weapons, she carries a dagger, a bow and some arrows. She uses her bow to hunt for food, or to shoot unwanted intruders from a distance. Her main way of fighting is with her fists and feet, relying on dance-like movements to dodge and hit her enemies.
    Other than her weapons, she carries a series of small satchels around her hips to store the necessary items for travelling in.

    Rupees:
    15 left

    Height:
    1,80 meters

    Weight:
    69 kilos

    Appearance:
    She has the characteristic tanned skin and red hair of a Gerudo, usually pulled up in a long ponytail, and is dressed in a short, red skirt and a halter top covered with golden scales and high sandals. Sometimes she'll wear a red shawl around her shoulders and upper body, to appear a little more modest and stay warm in non-desert surroundings. She also wears some jewelry in the form of small golden bands around her wrists, arms and ankles.
    Nefertete has the build of a dancer, lean and quite some muscles, without being bulky.

    Personality:
    Nefertete is a happy-go-lucky, cheerful person. Always seeing the bright side of things and always in for a joke, but she has a serious side when needed. She doesn't know much of the world outside of the desert, but is immensely curious and eager to learn more about it. Nefertete gets along well with most people she meets due to her easygoing personality, but can get incredibly fierce if someone hurts the people she cares about.

    Backstory:
    Nefertete was raised as a priestess and sacred dancer of the Goddess of the Sand, in the Desert Colossus. She had a relatively safe youth, separated from the rest of the world by the vicious desert winds around the Colossus. spend with dance practice, praying and studying to become a full-fledged priestess. Praying for the Goddess of the Sand and ceremonies usually involve a lot of ritual dances, something the priestesses are taught from a very young age.
    After being initiated as a priest at age 14, Nefertete was allowed to leave the Colossus by day and explore the desert. She loved nothing more than seeing the endless stretches of sand before her, and soon started to try and memorize the different routes she took on her daily hike through the desert. During this time, she also honed her survival skills, being able to find water in the barren wasteland and hunting the few animals that live there, making her a highly skilled guide for the few people who want cross the desert.
    At age 16 she started to do this as a way of making money. By then she was allowed to leave the Colossus for longer periods, not having to train or practice each day anymore. She would wait at the Thieves' Fortress for travellers who needed to cross the desert, seeing she was one of the few people who could find their way through the treacherous sands, and guide them for a small sum to whatever place they needed to go.
    At age 18 Nefertete became a full-fledged priestess, having learnt each ritual dance and each prayer. From that moment on she was free to roam Hyrule as she pleased, and she gladly took the opporturnity to explore the south of Hyrule. Every now and then she would still return to the Desert Colossus, to share her stories of the outside would with the younger trainees and priestesses who had chosen to stay at the Colossus, or to guide travellers, who would get lost without her.
    Now, at age 22, Nefertete has decided to explore the rest of Hyrule.

    Skill - Captivating Dance (open)
    'Captivating dance Unique
    Original: Squishy - Skill
    [music]


    C5: 45 rupees
    C4: 60 rupees
    C3: 90 rupees
    C2: 120 rupees
    C1: 240 rupees

    The user performs a beautiful dance, capturing the attention of enemies, who, for the duration of the dance, are rendered immobile and can only stare at the dancer. The duration of the dance depends on the user's stamina, but it's usually around 3 minutes or less. To keep up the dance needs a high concentration, as one wrong movement will break the spell and make the enemies aware of their surroundings again. If the dance is succesfully ended it will take five seconds for a normal, and three seconds for a particulary strong enemy to become aware of their surroundings again. Enemies also need to be in a five feet range and need to have the dancer in sight for the dance to take effect.
    Characters with a courage or wisdom of 5, if they are able to concentrate hard enough, will have a strong enough will to ignore the dance and will not be affected.
    Last edited: Sep 20, 2013
  2. Eevachu

    Eevachu Admin admin

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    For the most part it's fine, and I really like the idea of a dancing based character, it's a really nice idea.

    However, the desert was mostly overrun by Ganon since she was about 7, so it would be kind of dangerous. I suppose your history would still fit, however, considering it would be a very large desert. A majority of Southern Hyrule was by the time she left too, so keep that in mind.

    Captivating Dance, it would be Skill. 5 minutes for basically a charm is kind of powerful. I would say maybe lower the strength? Such as, they will be broken out of the charm by things up to like, five/six feet away, or something like that? But the 5 Wisdom/5 Courage thing sounds good. Oh, I don't think scry would apply, it would be just music.

    For the dancing, however, I see no reason why it couldn't function as an "instrument" and you shouldn't have to pay any rupees for it, so you can remove that.
  3. Squishy

    Squishy tl;dr this is all, still, toko's fault admin

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    Alright, sounds good. I didn't think about Ganon in the desert, my mistake. Sorry! D:
    As for the Captivating Dance skill, I'll change the duration to 3 minutes and affecting only enemies in a vicinity of 5 feet, and of course they have to be able to see the dancer, so it won't work through walls and stuff. And I'll remove scry.

    I've changed the skill and added the other treasures. If the skill is accepted and the backstory is okay, this character is finished.
  4. Eevachu

    Eevachu Admin admin

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    That's okay, then. It's approved :U
  5. Squishy

    Squishy tl;dr this is all, still, toko's fault admin

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    +1 courage for promotion to regular.
  6. Squishy

    Squishy tl;dr this is all, still, toko's fault admin

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    Transaction post:

    + 5 rupees for registering subaccount
  7. Guy

    Guy Admin admin

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    As per the request of Squishy, the character Nefertete Qetesh is now retired.
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