Dustin Bruht

Double_r111 · Aug 6, 2011

Name: Dustin Bruht

Age: 26

Gender: Male

Race: Rito

Place of Origin: Dragon Roost Island

PWC: 1/2/5

Treasures:
Valiance
winged flight
Hawkeye
Hero's Charm
Mermaid Suit
Red Candle

Height: ft:5 In:3

Weight:78 lb

Equipment:

Art Supplies
Dustin is a natural artist, having left dragon roost island for more inspiration for his work. Everywhere he goes Dustin is accompanied by his paints and paintbrush, as well as a quill pen and ink. Of course he also carries along a large supply of paper.

Grazia: blade length 37 in

A Rapier that Dustin's parents had custom made for him at the age of 11, when Ganon attacked, just in case of the unlikely event of the Evil king attacking dragon roost island. The sword fits him well as rather than the brute strength needed to wield most swords, agility and technique are required, using the sword is similar to using a paintbrush, so Dustin caught on pretty quickly. Dustin does not look like a fighter, however to assume he won't fight well is a stupid move resulting in death to his enemies, as he has been able to practice with it since he was 11. Now the blade is mainly used for self protection.

Appearance: Dustin's feathers are a slightly yellowish shade of white, comparable to a white eggshell. Dustin also wears simple yet effective leather armor. Dustin stands at a solid 5'3" and is slightly on the skinny side. Dustin has bright red eyes, which also happen to be his favorite color. Dustin wears Grazia in a beautiful hilt on his waist. It is rumored he designed the hilt, however it is unknown if this is true

Personality: Dustin is very optimistic, always looking at the best of things and doesn't give up easily. Dustin has been drawing for as long as he can remember and has many tools to aid him. Dustin got his hawkeye for the sheer purpose of being able to draw and paint objects at a distance and he got the red candle to draw and paint at night. The hero's Charm is used by him to help himself when swordfighting. Dustin also hates the concept of the pictograph box, believing it to be a souless way of capturing an image, lacking any artistic talent.

Dustin loves swordfighting with his rapier almost as much as he loves painting, and is masterful at using it. This is due to the fact that the many of the techniques needed to wield a rapier are also used in painting, especially the many wrist movements. Dustin has tried other swords and both struggled and failed with many of them.

Backstory: Dustin Was born on dragon roost island and grew up there. at a very young age Dustin showed he enjoyed and was quite talented at drawing, and shortly after painting. When he was 11 the unthinkable happened. Ganon attacked Hyrule. His parents got Dustin a rapier and lessons for the unlikely event Ganon attacked the island. He quickly showed a talent with the weapon and his parent's got him lessons.

when Dustin was 14 he entered an art contest. Unfortunately he didn't win, but rather than be upset about it dustin practiced and practiced until he was 17 when he finally won. He used the grand prize of 60 rupees to buy himself some mermaid armor, having been curious about the sea and what dwell beneath it's surface. Plus, imagine what amazing things he could draw down there.

At the age of 20 Dustin moved away from his parents and bought his own living space on dragon roost island. He began extensively studying the art of fighting using a rapier, long past his lesson requirements and eventually quit the lessons, having grown too skilled. Dustin continued practicing to the point where he was one of the best swordsman on the island. However still, he could not fight with any other sword.

His art became famous on the island of dragon roost, but unknown to the rest of the world. Then hearing of an odd land far away, Dustin ventured there, to spread his art and find new inspiration for his work. Finally after days of travel, Dustin has landed at the small town of Impa.

Eevachu · Aug 7, 2011

For the most part I won't point punctuation out, but I'll point out other grammar and spelling errors. I'll color my comments in green and point out stuff with bold.

double_r111 said:

Equipment:

Art Supplies
Dustin is a natural artist, having left dragon roost island for more inspiration for his work. Everywhere he goes Dustin is accompanied by his paints and paintbrush, as well as a quill pen and ink and of course, a large supply of paper.

Artists blade: blade length 37 in

A Rapier that Dustin's parents had custom made for him at the age of 11, when Ganon attacked, just in case of the unlikely event of the Evil king attacking dragon roost island. The sword fits him well as rather than the brute strength needed to wield most swords, agility and technique are required, using the sword is similar to using a paintbrush, so Dustin caught on pretty quickly. Dustin does not look like a fighter, however to assume he won't fight well is a stupid move resulting in death to his enemies, as he has been able to practice with it since he was 11. Now the blade is mainly used for self protection.

Appearance: Dustin's feathers are a slightly yellowish shade of white, comparable to a white eggshell. Dustin also wears leather armor. Dustin stands at a solid 5'3" and is slightly on the skinny side. Dustin has bright red eyes, which also happen to be his favorite color. Dustin also wears the Artists Blade in a hilt on his waist.

This is kind of an abrupt break. Although it's up to you, you could describe the leather armor a bit more, or if you want just change it to where it just doesn't jump there so quickly. Just try reading it out loud and maybe you'll see what I mean.

Personality: Dustin is very optimistic, always looking at the best of things and doesn't give up easily. Dustin has been drawing for as long as he can remember and has many tools to aid him. Dustin got his hawkeye for the sheer purpose of being able to draw and paint objects at a distance and he got the red candle to draw and paint at night. The hero's Charm is used by him to help him when swordfighting. Dustin also hates the concept of the pictograph box, believing it to be a souless way of capturing an image, lacking any artistic talent.

Dustin loves swordfighting with his rapier almost as much as he loves painting, and is masterful at using it. This is due to the fact that the many ofthe techniques needed to wield a rapier are also used in painting. mainly wrist movements such as flicking the wrist. Dustin however has tried other swords and both struggled and failed with many of them.

Like I was saying above, this sentence kind of ends early and doesn't flow well with the rest.

Backstory: Dustin Was born on dragon roost island and grew up there. at a very young age Dustin showed he enjoyed and was quite talented at drawing, and shortly after painting. When when[/n] he was 11 the unthinkable happened. Ganon attcked Hyrule. His parents got Dustin a rapier and lessons for the unlikely event Ganon attacked the island. He quickly showed a talent with the weapon and his parent's got him lessons.

You said when twice and spelled attacked wrong, but they're not too big. The main thing here is the last bolded part. You already stated that they got him lessons, so it's a little redundant to mention it again this way in the same paragraph. Oh, and parents wouldn't have an apostrophe, as it's not possessive or saying it is. Just a small error but I figured I'd mention it too.

when Dustin was 14 his parents he enterd an art contest, unfortunately he didn't win, but rather than be upset about it dustin practiced and practiced until he was 17 and he finally won. He used the grand prize of 60 rupees to buy himself some mermaid armor, having been curious about the sea and what dwell beneath it's surface. Plus imagine what amazing things he could draw down there.

At the age of 20 Dustin moved away from his parents and bought his own living space on dragon roost island. He began extensively studying the art of fighting using a rapier long past his lesson requirements and eventually quit the lessons having grown too skilled. Dustin continued practicing to the point where he was one of the best swordsman on the island. However still, he could not fight with any other sword.

His art became famous on the island of dragon roost, but uknown to the rest of the world. Then having heard rumors of an odd land far away, Dustin ventured their, to spread his art and find new inspiration for his art. Finally after days of travel, Dustin has landed at the small town of Impa.

It'd be there.
Click to expand...

I didn't point all the errors I noticed out to leave you a little bit of work, but I covered most new things I saw. One main thing is sometimes the sentences feel a bit abrupt, like there's a pause after each sentence. They don't flow as well then and can feel awkward to read. A good way to try to help this is to re-read it a couple times and make sure it sounds decent. Overall, I hope I helped some. You don't have to use it, but feel free to if you want.

Double_r111 · Aug 7, 2011

Eevachu said:

For the most part I won't point punctuation out, but I'll point out other grammar and spelling errors. I'll color my comments in green and point out stuff with bold.

double_r111 said:

Equipment:

Art Supplies
Dustin is a natural artist, having left dragon roost island for more inspiration for his work. Everywhere he goes Dustin is accompanied by his paints and paintbrush, as well as a quill pen and ink and of course, a large supply of paper.

Artists blade: blade length 37 in

A Rapier that Dustin's parents had custom made for him at the age of 11, when Ganon attacked, just in case of the unlikely event of the Evil king attacking dragon roost island. The sword fits him well as rather than the brute strength needed to wield most swords, agility and technique are required, using the sword is similar to using a paintbrush, so Dustin caught on pretty quickly. Dustin does not look like a fighter, however to assume he won't fight well is a stupid move resulting in death to his enemies, as he has been able to practice with it since he was 11. Now the blade is mainly used for self protection.

Appearance: Dustin's feathers are a slightly yellowish shade of white, comparable to a white eggshell. Dustin also wears leather armor. Dustin stands at a solid 5'3" and is slightly on the skinny side. Dustin has bright red eyes, which also happen to be his favorite color. Dustin also wears the Artists Blade in a hilt on his waist.

This is kind of an abrupt break. Although it's up to you, you could describe the leather armor a bit more, or if you want just change it to where it just doesn't jump there so quickly. Just try reading it out loud and maybe you'll see what I mean.

Personality: Dustin is very optimistic, always looking at the best of things and doesn't give up easily. Dustin has been drawing for as long as he can remember and has many tools to aid him. Dustin got his hawkeye for the sheer purpose of being able to draw and paint objects at a distance and he got the red candle to draw and paint at night. The hero's Charm is used by him to help him when swordfighting. Dustin also hates the concept of the pictograph box, believing it to be a souless way of capturing an image, lacking any artistic talent.

Dustin loves swordfighting with his rapier almost as much as he loves painting, and is masterful at using it. This is due to the fact that the many ofthe techniques needed to wield a rapier are also used in painting. mainly wrist movements such as flicking the wrist. Dustin however has tried other swords and both struggled and failed with many of them.

Like I was saying above, this sentence kind of ends early and doesn't flow well with the rest.

Backstory: Dustin Was born on dragon roost island and grew up there. at a very young age Dustin showed he enjoyed and was quite talented at drawing, and shortly after painting. When when[/n] he was 11 the unthinkable happened. Ganon attcked Hyrule. His parents got Dustin a rapier and lessons for the unlikely event Ganon attacked the island. He quickly showed a talent with the weapon and his parent's got him lessons.

You said when twice and spelled attacked wrong, but they're not too big. The main thing here is the last bolded part. You already stated that they got him lessons, so it's a little redundant to mention it again this way in the same paragraph. Oh, and parents wouldn't have an apostrophe, as it's not possessive or saying it is. Just a small error but I figured I'd mention it too.

when Dustin was 14 his parents he enterd an art contest, unfortunately he didn't win, but rather than be upset about it dustin practiced and practiced until he was 17 and he finally won. He used the grand prize of 60 rupees to buy himself some mermaid armor, having been curious about the sea and what dwell beneath it's surface. Plus imagine what amazing things he could draw down there.

At the age of 20 Dustin moved away from his parents and bought his own living space on dragon roost island. He began extensively studying the art of fighting using a rapier long past his lesson requirements and eventually quit the lessons having grown too skilled. Dustin continued practicing to the point where he was one of the best swordsman on the island. However still, he could not fight with any other sword.

His art became famous on the island of dragon roost, but uknown to the rest of the world. Then having heard rumors of an odd land far away, Dustin ventured their, to spread his art and find new inspiration for his art. Finally after days of travel, Dustin has landed at the small town of Impa.

It'd be there.
Click to expand...

I didn't point all the errors I noticed out to leave you a little bit of work, but I covered most new things I saw. One main thing is sometimes the sentences feel a bit abrupt, like there's a pause after each sentence. They don't flow as well then and can feel awkward to read. A good way to try to help this is to re-read it a couple times and make sure it sounds decent. Overall, I hope I helped some. You don't have to use it, but feel free to if you want.
Click to expand...

fixed it up a little.

Eevachu · Aug 7, 2011

Still a few errors, but by the power temporarily given to me by Toko, this looks good enough to me. Interesting character, I gotta say. Now an actual mod just needs to move it, please :U

Double_r111 · Aug 8, 2011

I just changed the name of Dustin's rapier. Hope it doesn't matter. I haven't actually started RPing with him yet so I think it's fine.

Double_r111 · Aug 17, 2012

+1 to Wisdom for being promoted to HC regular.

Guy · Jan 9, 2014

As per the request of Double_r111, the character Dustin Bruht has been retired.

Dustin Bruht

Double_r111 Espeon reg

Eevachu Admin admin

Double_r111 Espeon reg

Eevachu Admin admin

Double_r111 Espeon reg

Double_r111 Espeon reg

Guy Admin admin