A Slight Case of Sunburn [Sunwell ft. Cata, Ink, and Genz]

In hindsight, targeting the woman with the mystic robes was an extremely bad idea.

Remei had been first drawn to this place by the idea of a great big portal opening in the middle of the desert. Except...nobody was actually going through it. Which was...boring, to say the least. She'd expected grand battles and heroics- instead she was watching a bunch of sweaty men in armour fighting dogs that were on fire and heat haze. Uninspiring, to say the least. Disappointed with the sights, and shunted out of the fighting by every Gerudo Warlord she approached due to her age, she opted to sate her other desire- a good bit of thievery. While nothing would really match up to the power trip of shoving a scimitar under someone's jaw and demanding all their valuables, a nice little pickpocket would do nicely. Except the person she had chosen as her target- one of the few people not clad in armour too thick to get through with sleight of hand- was Meryem. What had really caught her eye was the Miniblin. Remei recalled all the Miniblins back at the fortress- shifty little buggers they were, and Remei had no reservations about pickpocketing someone keeping company with Miniblins. She slipped closer, leaning against Meryem's tree and feigning exhaustion, meanwhile sneakily sticking her hand in Meryem's bag.

...Okay, she was getting rusty. If Remei-of-the-past had seen that attempt she'd probably cut her own throat to escape the embarrassment. Needless to say, Remei was unsuccessful at pickpocketing Meryem- if not for her own poor skills than for Meryem's superior ones.

For better or worse, Abigail was becoming rather reliant on Tessa for these missions of hers. The girl was scatterbrained as they come and never serious- practically Abigail's polar opposite really- but she was reliable in a fight and up for practically anything. Her time between adventures could be summed up as "waiting for the next adventure," too, so as long as Abigail caught her while she wasn't busy, she could net the other woman as a companion.

Now, they stood in the desert, a fact Abigail was less than pleased about. This portal was the last still open, however, and it needed to be dealt with sooner than later. She stood draped in a thin cloak to protect her pale skin from the sun, cursing Tessa for being immune to heat. Walking through the desert was as a warm spring stroll to the woman. She tried to distract herself from the heat and Tessa's chattering by watching the battle in front of them, a battle they were slowly but handily winning. The hoards pouring from the portal seemed to be unending, but organized in waves the troops could hold back. She, Tessa, and any mercenaries choosing to answer the call would be entering soon, once the tide had ebbed.

What lay on the other side- other than sand, of course- remained a mystery, but Abigail felt no particular trepidation over this fact. Ultimately it differed little from ordinary dungeon-delving. As a field agent, that was often her job.

The monsters were wearing down. Soon the moment would be upon them.

"Ow!" Remei yelped, jerking backwards in shock, her hands flying out of Meryem's pockets and to her nose. "Din! What the hell?"
Ack! That wasn't normally how people reacted to her thieving! Also...she was suddenly deeply horrified and ashamed at herself. Stealing from a blind woman? She had failed to pickpocket someone who couldn't see?! She could feel the disgust of every single mentor she'd ever had- which was pretty much just Dahlia, but still. Dahlia's disgusted face was incentive enough on its own.

She shut her mouth. She had, indeed, been about to make up some story that probably wouldn't have worked anyway, but the moment the woman mentioned that she was a seer Remei gave up and shut up. Either this woman was a better criminal than Remei would ever be, or she was actually magic. Either option left Remei pretty well screwed. Also, that blind stare was extremely offputting.
"Working together?" she asked, hesitant. "Wait, you want me to help you fight the monsters?"

Okay then, so this was...unexpected. She'd tried to rob this woman and now she was being offered a place in her portal-fighting group? She almost- almost- laughed at the woman's admittance of her lies when it came to her fortune-telling showbiz, and she objected to the concept of deceit and outright robbery being the same crime, but...the woman made a good offer. Remei had come here for a spot of fun and violence, and this lady was offering both!
"Gather a team, save the world. Got it. Count me in!"

The redhead looked around, scanning the field. From her- still very incomplete- experience, the kinds of people you'd want with you in an interdimensional adventure weren't the uniformly armoured Hylian knights or Gerudo warlords. No, uniqueness seemed to denote skill most of the time- the more they stuck out, the less you wanted to fight them, generally. Remei was sure there were exceptions to that rule- and even exceptions who were exceptions because they were actively defying the rule to make people underestimate them- but when her gold eyes alit on a certain duo she grinned.
"Found some," she said, brushing away a string of blood from her lip- she had never expected crystal balls to make such an effective weapon- and approached one figure in robes and one with a stunning kidney belt. Remei wanted that belt. She resisted the urge to try and steal that belt. "Hey, you two. There's a lady over there who wants adventurers. Want in?"

Tessa jumped at least a foot in the air when Remei spoke, having completely failed to notice the young thief coming. Abigail acted quickly, stepping in close to her taller companion and slapping a hand over her mouth before she and Remei both ended up listening to a lengthy and meaningless rant. Tessa started talking anyway, but her voice was muffled. Abigail made a note to wipe her hand off on Tessa's clothes later.

"Ah, perfect," Abigail began, overlooking the oddity of the situation, "I had been hoping some enterprising mercenaries would make themselves known. My compatriot and I are here in service to the Hyrulean Royal Family, in an endeavor to close this last portal which plagues the lands around us. Given the total lack of intelligence regarding what dangers we might face upon stepping through the gateway, I would be more than pleased to accept additional aid in accomplishing our mission."

Pausing a moment first to make sure Tessa was done, Abigail removed her hand from Tessa's face and wiped it down on her tunic. Although Tessa looked slightly put out at this sequence of events, Abigail quickly dismissed the significance of this facial expression- she knew Tessa too well by now to think she was actually angry, or might hold any sort of grudge. The event would be forgotten entirely in, oh, five minutes.

Gesturing for the other two to follow her, Abigail made her way over to Meryem, noting immediately the lack of focus in the seer's eyes. Blind, then. Interesting occupation for a blind woman.

"I have been informed that you are seeking adventurers. My name is Abigail Cataphractoi, and this is my partner Tessa Smith. If you would enter the portal, then it would appear we have a common purpose."

Remei flinched sharply at the loud noises the enormous Yeti was causing in the background, whirling to face him for a moment before looking back at Meryem. "I have a Wing Tunic, and I can...sort of lift others with it?"
She tapped her elbows and spontaneously sprouted wings- wow, she loved doing that, it was so much fun!- to demonstrate, wind ruffling her feathers. "I'd have to do it one-by-one, though, and..." she hesitated, "I'm not so sure I could lift you guys anyway,"
That probably sounded like she was calling them fat, but whatever. "I have no ideas except that. Anyone else got a clue?"

She looked over her allies so far. Meryem, in deep blue robes and pale eyes, didn't have any obvious items on her that could help them. The flighty redhead- Tessa Smith?- had a pair of fancy-looking boots- which Remei wanted- but Remei doubted she could in any way run into the portal when it was so high off the ground. And the other mage-looking woman- Abigail- didn't look to have anything fancier than a glittering earring on her. And unless Remei was monumentally wrong, earrings couldn't help you fly.

"Yeah, nope, I've got nothing,"
She turned to scan the battlefield for any structures that could help them climb high enough to reach it, but nada. A whole sack full of it. It made a dumb sort of sense that the portal wouldn't open at a convenient height, but wow was it annoying. They hadn't even gone into the portal and they were encountering difficulties.

"Actually..." Abigail began, looking between Tessa's boots and the wing tunic Remei wore. "Between Tessa's boots and your tunic it might be possible, assuming you can achieve any lift at all. You would not need to fly straight up- simply pull someone up by a meter or so, allow the boots to catch you, and repeat, leaving you responsible only for lifting and not maintaining height." She harrumphed. "It would be egregiously tedious, however, and you would likely require many rest breaks. Plan beta, perhaps."

"Are we just gonna ignore the yeti shuffling around and scaring people shitless? Cuz that seems pretty noteworthy. Oh! He has a cannon now. I think he's gonna fire himself at the portal. That does not seem safe. And I'm the one saying that so you know it's a bad sign," Tessa cut in, pointing the yeti out for Abigail. Abigail brought her goggles down and zoomed.

"That is not a simple cannon. It is a Sky Cannon. The soldiers must have been utilizing it for the purpose of heavy artillery. I think we just found our entry method."

"Oh my gods," Remei said in abject disbelief, staring at both the giant hairy creature-What the everloving shit is that?!- and the cannon. The cannon that Meryem was proposing they shoot themselves out of into a fiery death portal in search of the source of an endless flow of demonic beasts.
"Sign me the hell up!" Remei said excitedly, for a moment forgetting herself in the joy of the moment. Her wings were fluttering as she examined the cannon.

She'd fired cannons many a time, of course, being a pirate on the Southern Seas, but this was a beauty. She'd never seen one so big, for a start.
"This guy must need a ton of black powder to fire," she said to the giant creature- who probably had a name but Remei didn't care at the moment. "It's a really nice cannon,"
She turned back to her companions, in the process painfully smacking one wing on the cannon. She'd forgotten to get rid of them again, dammit, and in frustration she tapped her elbows and let the wings disappear.

"I vote yes to shooting ourselves out of the massive cannon," Remei said firmly. "It's an awful idea and I love it,"
The fighting had faded into the background for Remei, the idea of being able to launch themselves out of a Din-damned cannon occupying her mind front and centre. Ha. Suck it, Dahlia. I'm going to fly out of a cannon. "Who's with us?"

Abigail momentarily considered pointing out that the Gerudo child didn't actually need to use the cannon, but ultimately decided to hold her tongue. For one, she doubted that such a suggestion would be considered valid. For another, she was far too used to dealing with Tessa to think cutting in on that much enthusiasm was anything but a waste of time.

Meanwhile, Tessa was bouncing up and down on the balls of her feet and examining every centimeter of the cannon.

"So much yes. Sky. Cannon. Do you have any idea how long I've waited to shoot myself out of one of these? We're doing it. Abbey-Cat, we are firing ourselves out of that cannon." Abigail cringed at the use of her nickname. This was hardly the place for it. "I call first shot!"

When Abigail looked back to Tessa, the woman had already clambered up and into the barrel and was currently staring at the portal, grinning ear to ear. Abigail sighed.

"It would appear the decision has already been made. When Tessa gets like this, argument is futile."

"Aw, I wanted to go first," Remei complained, a smirk tugging at her lips. She liked this Tessa lady. Kindred spirits, ahoy. She watched as Tessa vaulted her way into a basket and was launched out of the cannon faster than Remei's eyes could track, rocketing towards the portal. A part of Remei was squealing in excited anticipation and she was privately impressed with herself for keeping that excitement internalised.

When it was her turn, she clambered into the basket and curled against the side, bracing herself. Judging by the sharp report of the cannon on each of its previous firings, the thing had some serious firepower behind it and she didn't want to end up snapping her neck on the side of the basket with the speed. When it fired, Remei couldn't keep back a half-terrified, half-exhilarated shriek as she found herself shooting upwards faster than she ever had before, faster than her wings had ever carried her. She hit something mid-flight and shrieked again in surprise, but her trajectory was still enough to send her into a wave of heat and sand, the arc of the flying basket seemingly cut short quickly as it was tugged to earth by stronger gravity.

Remei tugged open her basket, spitting sand with a toothy grin.
"I want to do it again," she proclaimed, finger-combing the sand out of her hair only to have the wind flick more into it. But...Din, it was hot in here. Already Remei could feel sweat beading on her upper lip and scalp, a far cry from the fortress' cold that she was used to. She was abjectly glad for her minimal clothing, worn mostly out of Gerudo tradition and masochism in the Fortress but perfectly suited for the climate here. Remei moved her glaive into her hand, looking about. There were surprisingly few monsters around, for the number that had been pouring out of the portal...

Remei jumped slightly when the short, armoured figure approached and spoke- the Gerudo hadn't even seen her approach. She looked at the small round orb the figure had shoved into her hands; a wave of cool, as if a sea breeze blowing gently, flowed over her from the orb.
"This thing is incredible," Remei said, lifting it to squint through it.

"Coldy rock, coldy rock, they are much nice flower mouse," sang a tiny voice, and Remei looked up. Fluttering near the armoured figure, hiding under the- is that an umbrella? Who brings an umbrella to a fiery death portal? Not like it's gonna rain in here- was a small pink fairy. Remei blinked.
"Uh, that with you?" she asked the armoured figure, inadvertently eschewing introductions. "I think it's got heatstroke,"
The tiny figure was mumbling something to itself about lions and orange, and Remei immediately gave up trying to decode it, let alone hear it over the wind.

Tessa's journey through the portal was accompanied by joyful yelling- comically decreasing in volume on the way up and growing louder on the way down, if either person on the other side were inclined to find amusement in anything in the first place.

She hit the ground in a puff of sand and sprang out to have a look around. She saw...a lot of sand. Also, a kokiri and a fairy. Neither was approaching. They were just sitting there and staring. She might have found that ominous if she was capable of finding anything ominous. As it was, she kept them in her line of sight just in case.

It's actually surprisingly cool he- oh. Right. Fireshield Earrings.

One by one, the others followed her through. Remei seemed just as excited as she was. Abigail looked mildly miffed at having had to travel by cannon, and daintily dusted herself off before starting to swear under her breath at the heat. Meryem came next, lacking her- pet?- miniblin, and then the kokiri finally moved. She had remained aware of the child's location the entire time.

Abigail seemed to accept the orb gratefully, but Tessa just looked at it curiously and then dropped it into a pocket. It seemed a little redundant to her anyway.

Remei paused.
"You two know eachother?" she asked, looking between the armoured midget and the blind woman. The fairy apparently was with the prior, although neither of them seemed to actually be aware of that, as the fairy simply flew into the umbrella a few times and the girl- at least, Remei thought it was a girl- reacted with only mild interest.

"Sure thing, Meryem," Remei said, pausing. "I have first name privileges, right? And do you, uh, need my hand? To like lead you along? Sorry, I've never met a blind person before,"
On the inside, Remei was singing slightly- this Meryem lady was impressive. A blind ninja Gerudo with robes and one who had apparently tamed a Miniblin- normally such vindictive little creatures- into a dorky pet? Remei would be lying if she said that Meryem hadn't gained the attention of her idolisation habits, because she most certainly had. A blind badass woman with psychic powers, ninja reflexes with that crystal ball, and the patience to tame a miniblin. Certainly the kind of person the younger Gerudo would nominate as her latest fixation.

Offering an arm to Meryem, Remei looked around. The fairy didn't seem to be helping much, instead opting to land on the sand and make a sand angel. How was she not scorching her wings off? Then again, Remei thought, looking at the wriggling creature, it might well be and just hadn't noticed. It didn't seem...all there. It was like that old sailor Remei had stolen from once. She'd commandeered his vessel and he'd started screaming something about witches and whatnot. The fairy was definitely on that spectrum, Remei decided, possibly the far end, as the fairy suddenly sat upright and looked at Abigail dead in the eye and hissed "Don't go near the yellow painting, it's far too pink," before lying back down in the sand. A few rupees short of a treasure chest, evidently.

Abigail climbed a dune while the others conversed and lowered her goggles over her eyes. She brought one hand up to manipulate the Hawkeye option, zooming in on the horizon and starting to sweep for anything out of the ordinary.

"D''ya see anything yet? All I see is sand. Lots of sand. And more sand. Not even monsters to make it fun. What're these orbs for anyway? I just stuffed mine in my pocket I dunno how to use it. Looks like yours is on, is it doing anything?" Tessa looked apt to continue, but Abigail raised a hand to cut her off.

"The orbs seem to reduce the effect of light in a few meters' radius. Have you not paid mind to the strange circle of shadow surrounding me?" Abigail told her absently, her attention mostly on the dune-sea around them.

"Oh. Oh! I see it now. I dunno what the point'a that is though. Is it cooling you down or something? That's what my guess was. Seeing as we're in a desert. Figured I'd ask you since you know so much and all. My earrings are doin' that already so I don't really need it. If you hold two will you be twice as cool?"

Ignoring Tessa, Abigail turned back to the rest of the group, focusing on Meryem. She seemed to be assuming a position of leadership here.

"No need. I have sighted a cluster of structures in the distance," she said, pointing in that direction for the benefit of everyone that was not Meryem. "Would this be an acceptable place to begin our search?"

"Oh," Remei said dumbly. "Sorry."
She let go of Meryem's arm, wondering how Meryem was going to follow her with sound over the wind. Not like the blind Gerudo could hear her footsteps. Lost for an alternative, Remei began to arbitrarily whistle, some old tune she'd heard someone play once. It wasn't a particularly long tune, she realised belatedly, as she realised she was going to have to whistle the same tune over and over for...probably a long time. It wasn't like they were going to finish up in here in ten minutes. The fairy, meanwhile, was apparently bunny hopping through the sand, skipping like a flat stone on a lake as she bounced. And reciting the Solfege scale as she did so. It was slightly distracting.

"Do," thump, "re," thump, "mi," thump.
Remei decided to take pity on the fairy and stooped to pick it up, and was promptly thanked by having five centimetres of thorn jammed into her hand.
"That's a...bad word," the fairy arbitrarily reminded Remei as she cursed.
"Screw you," Remei hissed back, flicking the fairy in the face. The pink creature fell backwards onto its rear, sitting on Remei's brown palm. Now that the Gerudo could see it up close, it was clearly a she. Little bitch. Remei pinched the end of the thorn and pulled it out of her hand, making to throw it away before the fairy abruptly pounced on it, wrenching it from between Remei's thumb and forefinger and shoving it back in what appeared to be an obi of some sorts.
"Mine," the fairy said, as if her point hadn't been communicated effectively enough.